Season 1, Episode 1 Aired: 9/26/1962 The Clampetts Strike Oil Jed Clampett's swamp is loaded with oil. When a wildcatter discovers the huge pool, Jed sells his land to the O.K. Oil Company and, at the urging of cousin Pearl, moves his family to a 35-room mansion in Beverly Hills, California. But when they get to their new home, which they think is a prison, and the gardeners are inmates, they are mistaken for vandals and get arrested. When Milburn Drysdale, president of the bank their money has been transferred to, finds out, he demands their release. Of course, he does not recognize Jed as a millionaire. He takes the family back to their house in the limo, but the Clampetts think they are being taken to prison. They run in the other direction and head for the hills.
Season 1, Episode 2 Aired: 10/3/1962 Getting Settled The Clampetts finally arrive at their new home, but find there aren't any of the conveniences of their old home. Jethro makes a few new discoveries, things they have never seen before, like pink chickens (flamingoes) and a cement pond. When Miss Jane Hathaway arrives, the executive secretary for Mr. Drysdale, she mistakes the clan for a staff of bumbling, insubordinate, backwoods servants. She yells at them and fires them, but when Drysdale arrives, he tells her that who she has mistaken for servants is actually the Clampetts. So she doesn't get in trouble, Jed says she has been like one of the family, and everything is all right from then on.
Season 1, Episode 3 Aired: 10/10/1962 Meanwhile, Back at the Cabin The Clampetts find that the comforts of the mansion do not always compare to the comforts of their former mountain shack. And Jethro and Elly get something from Miss Jane. Elly gets tips and gifts on how to be a Beverly Hills girl, and Jethro believes Jane likes him.
Season 1, Episode 4 Aired: 10/17/1962 The Clampetts Meet Mrs. Drysdale When Mr. Drysdale describes Mrs. Drysdale as being a hypochondriac, the Clampetts assume she must be a drunk. With his wife coming home, Drysdale and Jane try to prevent her from meeting the family before they can shape the hillbillies up.
Season 1, Episode 5 Aired: 10/24/1962 Jed Buys Stock When Drysdale suggest buying good stock, Jed quickly buys some cows, pigs and chickens. Meanwhile, Granny has plans to sober up Mrs. Drysdale, who the family believes is a lush. And Mr. Drysdale is trying to hide the new hillbilly neighbors from his wife.
Season 1, Episode 6 Aired: 10/31/1962 Trick or Treat The Clampetts are feeling homesick. They are mostly all alone in Beverly Hills. And none of their neighbors are visiting them. So they decide to go visit their new neighbors. Little do they know, it is Halloween, a holiday they have never heard of. They visit many different houses, and in the end they get bagfuls of candy and treats. With their luck, they decide to try calling Pearl up, and they succeed! Their day that started with homesickness and loneliness ended in happiness and luck.
Season 1, Episode 7 Aired: 11/7/1962 The Servants The Clampetts are doing repairs for their home, just as Elly is adapting to the look of a city girl, but not enjoying being called a “city girl.” Drysdale and Jane have figure out a way to improve the Clampetts by lending them servants. However, the Clampetts don’t want any servants, so Drysdale tells them that some of his staff is just going to be staying with them for a few days. The Clampetts accept, and Ravenswood, the Butler, and Marie, the upstairs maid, move in. Ravenswood gets scared of the Clampetts because he has had a bad encounter with Jethro before and sees Elly throw Jethro down the stairs. But everyone finally gets well acquainted, and all goes well, until Ravenswood makes the mistake of calling Elly a “city girl” and she chases him up to the top of the stairs and throws him down. Jethro catches him, but after he puts him down, Ravenswood faints.
Season 1, Episode 8 Aired: 11/14/1962 Jethro Goes to School Jethro announces that Pearl has sent the family a letter. In this letter, Pearl says how she hopes her son is doing well in school. Jed realizes that Jethro should be in the fifth grade and tells him they have to find a school that day. While driving around Beverly Hills, they stop at the first school they see, Mrs. Potts’ School. When Mrs. Potts first sees the two hillbillies, she doesn’t believe they are trying to get into her exclusive private school. But after talking to Drysdale at the bank, she learns how much money they have. After interviewing them, she misunderstands and believes Jethro is less than ten years old. She is excited, until she sees that this Jethro is the adult she met and not a child. She says that she will not teach him under any circumstances, but when Jed sees Drysdale coming up the driveway, she changes her mind and takes Jethro to school.
Season 1, Episode 9 Aired: 11/21/1962 Elly's First Date Elly May is set up with Sonny Drysdale, who is at first unsure about it until he sees her by the pool. At the mansion, Elly is learning about courting and sparking. When they meet, the date ends very soon, after Sonny tries to kiss Elly’s hand, but she thinks he is trying to bite her. He runs away to his mother, and the Clampetts visit to make peace. At the end, the Drysdales join the Clampetts for Thanksgiving supper.
Season 1, Episode 10 Aired: 11/28/1962 Pygmalion and Elly Sonny and Elly are getting more serious. Sonny loves Elly’s character and tells her how she makes him feel superior. But Jed worries about this courtship. However, Granny does not have any worries and does not want her granddaughter to be an old maid. During their poolside date, Sonny tells Elly how he is burning, and only she can put out the fire. So she pushes him in the pool. He runs home, and Elly tells the family that her charms did it, thinking that since she didn’t have her rabbit’s foot, he caught fire. Granny tells Elly she’ll get Sonny back, and Sonny wants to go back, much to the dismay of his mother. He hopes to tame the hillbilly beauty. Before he arrives, Granny creates a love charm to conjure Sonny Drysdale to her. Jane tells the women it is impossible, but as Elly says the spell, Sonny arrives. After arriving, Sonny tries to mold Elly into a proper city woman. Jed is glad his daughter could become sophisticated, and Granny gives Jed a love charm to use. He says the spell and Mrs. Drysdale comes running over, looking for her son. Sonny comes out, acting like a hillbilly, causing his mother to cry.
Season 1, Episode 11 Aired: 12/5/1962 Elly Races Jethrine Granny and Jed are looking at pictures of Sonny and Elly May together, and Granny is sure that the two will get married, after she heard Sonny telling Elly he’ll give her a ring at ten o’clock, not knowing he meant a phone call. Jed sends the pictures back home to Pearl, because she always bragged how Jethrine would beat Elly to the alter. After seeing these pictures, Pearl decides to get her daughter married before Elly. And Granny decides to help get Sonny and Elly engaged. Sonny picks Elly up for their date, a drive, and Granny wants to follow, but Jed stops her from going. Meanwhile, Pearl is planning Jethrine’s date with Jasper Depew, telling what to do, and giving her wine to calm her nerves. But when Jasper arrives, Jethrine becomes drunk and doesn’t do what her mother told her to. That night, Granny and Jed are nervously awaiting Elly’s return home. When she and Sonny do get home, Sonny mentions how Elly can’t dance, and Granny proves that her granddaughter can dance by having a square dance. Jethro comes home and asks why the family’s dancing, and Granny says it is because Elly is marrying Sonny, causing Sonny to run home, shouting for his mother.
Season 1, Episode 12 Aired: 12/12/1962 The Great Feud Sonny has jilted Elly May, and the Clampetts are prepared feud the Drysdales. They head over to the Drysdales’ mansion with their guns, where they are met by Ravenswood, the butler, who tells them Drysdale is at the bank and Sonny and Mrs. Drysdale are in Boston. After Granny tells the family about a great feud she had with the Bodkin family back in Tennessee, Jed heads to the bank to talk to Drysdale, but brings a gun he took away from Jethro with him, and gets arrested. When Jethro comes home, he tells Granny and Elly about this, and they head to the Drysdale mansion for revenge. Jed is in jail being questioned by two psychiatrists. Drysdale and Jane visit the jail, and after seeing the largest depositor behind bars, demand his release. The return to the mansion, but are attacked, so go to the Drysdales’. The Clampetts head next door to get Jed back, and everything is solved, after Elly says she doesn’t want to marry Sonny. Though Drysdale messes things up for himself saying he is a Bodkin, and Granny threatens him. But the Clampetts finally end their feud, and all is well again.
Season 1, Episode 13 Aired: 12/19/1962 Home for Christmas The Clampetts decide to head home to the Hills for Christmas, and once Drysdale and Jane hear about this, they make all the arrangements, getting Granny and Elly mink coats and giving the Clampetts their first plane ride in style. After a slight mix-up, the Clampetts finally get home, surprising Pearl and Jethrine. Meanwhile, back in the Hills, Pearl is trying to woo Mr. Brewster, getting close to a marriage proposal. She doesn’t succeed however, but comes close, since Brewster is trying to keep Pearl from heading to Beverly Hills to visit the family. After Brewster tells Jed what almost happened, Jed tells the family to head back out. After they arrival, they sing carols around the piano to start the holiday out right.
Season 1, Episode 14 Aired: 12/26/1962 No Place Like Home The Clampetts arrive back at their old cabin to spend the Christmas holiday with Pearl. But since the cabin will be too crowded with the Clampetts and Brewster, Pearl suggests Brewster stays with her, in an attempt to get engaged. She tries to woo Brewster at show herself off at the theatre she works at during the premiere of Ben Hur. But Pearl has no luck, and the Clampetts aren’t too happy with the cold conditions. But they decide to stay to help Pearl win over Mr. Brewster.
Season 1, Episode 15 Aired: 1/2/1963 Jed Rescues Pearl The Clampetts are missing their Beverly Hills mansion, still living in their old cabin to help Pearl get Mr. Brewster. But Pearl is having no luck with hooking him – all her tactics are failing. Pearl tells the family that he still doesn’t show any interest, and Granny tells Jed he has to make Brewster propose. Brewster tells Jed he thinks Pearl is a great woman, but isn’t interested in marriage, to which Jed says he understands, and comes up with a plan. Jed tells Brewster to propose to Pearl in front of someone, and she will turn him down, after being told to. Jed suggests he propose in front of the biggest gossip in the Hills, Elverna Brawshaw, but Brewster says he wants to do it in front of the audience at the movie house Pearl works at. Pearl doesn’t agree with the plan at first, but gives in. She and Brewster rehearse that day, but that night before the event, he changes what he’s going to do. At the theatre, Brewster charges in and gives s dramatic performance after Pearl turns him down. But he puts it on too strongly, and Pearl ends up saying “Yes.”
Season 1, Episode 16 Aired: 1/9/1963 Back to Californy The Clampetts are heading back to Beverly Hills, taking Pearl and Jethrine with them. But Jethrine isn’t too excited about it because she has to leave her boyfriend behind. He tells her he can’t go with her, but after seeing Elly May, rethinks it. Back in Beverly Hills, Drysdale and Jane are preparing for the bank’s largest depositor’s return. When the family gets back, Jane tries to attract Jethro with a seductive-gypsy appearance and succeeds, and Pearl sees all the modern technology in the airport, an escalator and automatic doors. But when the family, minus Jethro, gets home, Pearl starts taking charge of the housework, upsetting Granny. When Jethro and Jane return, the family decides to have supper. However, Granny and Pearl sabotage each other’s dishes, so Jed takes the family out to eat, thinking he may have to just buy a restaurant with the way Granny and Pearl are acting.
Season 1, Episode 17 Aired: 1/16/1963 Jed's Dilemma Pearl is trying to give Granny a break, figuring that Granny is so old and feeble that she cannot perform her household chores anymore. This upsets Granny greatly because she knows she can still get the job done. Granny chases after Pearl, and Jed decides to get the family to relax by taking them sightseeing around Beverly Hills. But the drive doesn’t solve the problem, only causing Granny and Pearl to bicker more. When they get back home, they continue their fight, but Jed tries to solve it, not finding any success. He then tells the women to swim with Elly May, but only Pearl goes. While everyone is at the pool and Granny is making lunch, Pearl decides to heat up some ham hocks on the barbecue. The clan eats until they are stuffed, and Granny comes out of the house to discover Pearl has done what Granny told her not to – cook for the family. Out of anger, Granny shoves Pearl into the pool and the barbecue she cooked on right after her.
Season 1, Episode 18 Aired: 1/23/1963 Jed Saves Drysdale's Marriage Jed and Granny are discussing Mr. Drysdale, who they feel sorry for since his wife isn’t in town much and “a drunk,” as they still believe. Granny then realizes that Pearl is cooking in her kitchen and goes in to threaten her. Jed takes Pearl aside to tell her she shouldn’t hide in the kitchen, but stick to her talent – yodeling. Jed tells her how Drysdale “enjoyed” it at dinner last night. Meanwhile, Drysdale is having housekeeper problems, not having anyone to run his household. When Pearl calls to yodel for him as a surprise, Jane suggests to Drysdale that he employs Pearl to be the head housekeeper, and when he suggests it to Pearl, she thinks he means marriage. And when Granny and Jed visit Mrs. Drysdale, who is going to a health spa, she says how Milburn is getting a more glamorous wife in her, but they think Drysdale is getting a brand new wife. When Jed and Granny catch Pearl and Drysdale in the parlor, they think Pearl is the new wife. So Granny and Pearl work together to save Drysdale’s marriage. They scare him away, and Jed believes the plan worked.
Season 1, Episode 19 Aired: 1/30/1963 Elly's Animals Pearl is setting up to give singing, yodeling, and piano lessons to the people of Beverly Hills. Duke is having problems with Pearl’s yodeling because it hurts his ears, so he runs into the Drysdale yard, howling. Mrs. Drysdale, tired of the Clampetts, calls the dogcatcher to get Duke and presses charges against Pearl for disturbing the peace with her yodeling. When police arrive, Pearl invites an officer in for a music lesson, and he ends up enjoying himself. After they leave, Jane drives up with Elly and a car-full of dogs that she got from the pound after getting Duke out. But after all of Elly’s dogs get settled, one of them scares Jethrine, and Elly says she’ll take them for a swim. As she does this, Pearl starts yodeling, causing the dogs to howl and Mrs. Drysdale to file another complaint. When the same cops arrive, the other one comes to tell Elly she has to keep the dogs quiet, but after seeing Jed’s beautiful daughter, forgets what he was supposed to do. When the cops leave, Granny becomes the newest person to complain to Elly about her dogs, after a big one digs a hole that is her size.
Season 1, Episode 20 Aired: 2/6/1963 Jed Throws a Wingding Pearl gets a letter from two old flames who used to fight over her hand, Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs. After reading some of the letter, Jed figures that the engagement they talk about in the letter is for Pearl to choose which one she wants to marry. However, Lester and Earl have since married two glamorous city women, and the engagement they speak of is a gig in Hollywood. Gladys and Louise, Lester and Earl’s wives, are jealous, and go to see Pearl ahead of time, posing as make-up sales girls, but see Elly May mistakenly. The wives stay at the beauty parlor during the wingding the Clampetts throw, and when Lester and Earl ask about the engagement, Pearl turns them down, not wanting to break them up. Lester and Earl leave to get their wives, and when they return, they come back with the “make-up sales girls,” who Jed warned Pearl about them marrying. Pearl sees them, and says how her two former beaus had to settle for second best.
Season 1, Episode 21 Aired: 2/13/1963 Jed Plays Solomon Pearl gives up her music lessons because when she yodels, Elly’s dogs storm her. Jed comes up with a plan to figure out how the dogs are coming in the house, and it is revealed that Granny is letting the dogs in. Pearl continues her yodeling, and Granny still wants it to stop, so calls the police to file a complaint. They visit, but on a friendly visit, and after a misunderstanding, Granny reveals she called the cops on Pearl. Granny begs her forgiveness, telling Pearl to hurt her to make it even, and Pearl forgives her. Before the police leave, Officer Kelly reveals to Sergeant Dean he discovered a still near the pool. The cops figure it is Granny’s still, and Granny overhears them talking about it, mentioning Pearl’s name. Granny believes Pearl told the law about her still. When the cops ask her about it, the family cover up for Granny. But the officers say as long a Granny quits making it, she’ll have no worries about it.
Season 1, Episode 22 Aired: 2/20/1963 Duke Steals a Wife Jed and Duke are feeling poorly, so Jed asks Granny to make some Spring Tonic for them. Granny tells Jed she can make the tonic, but it won’t help because what they need is female company. Jed thinks Granny is speaking nonsense and says he isn’t interested. Meanwhile, Mrs. Drysdale is preparing for her dog Claude’s wedding to a Parisian poodle. She is waiting for Mlle. Denise, the owner of Claude’s bride, to arrive. But she mistakenly arrives at the Clampett mansion, and Jed takes interest in the beautiful stranger, while Duke runs off with her dog Colette. Jed fixes himself up to impress Mlle. Denise: shaving and combing his hair, and his family teases him about it. At Claude’s wedding ceremony, Duke shows up, upsetting Mrs. Drysdale. After he is returned to the Clampett mansion, Duke howls in agony and Colette runs to him. Jed continues to spruce himself up by shining his shoes, and the family continues to tease. Mrs. Drysdale calls to demand Colette’s return to Claude. As Elly is about to take her back, Jed comes downstairs all dressed up, saying he’ll take the dog back so she can decide which dog she wants, just like how he decided who he wanted.
Season 1, Episode 23 Aired: 2/27/1963 Jed Buys the Freeway The Clampetts are visited by a stranger, H.H.H. Jones. But this man is a confidence man, looking to get rich by selling Jed different monuments in the Los Angeles area. He starts out by trying to sell the Hollywood Bowl. Pearl takes interest in this so she’d have the ability to perform in front of a crowd. The family decides to go look at the Hollywood Bowl. Pearl is very impressed, but Jed doesn’t take much interest because there isn’t much hunting. So “Honest Hank” takes the Clampetts to another piece of his property, Griffith Park. Meanwhile, Drysdale and Jane know about this confidence man, and are trying to get the Clampetts out of his clutches. While at Griffith Park, the Clampetts are enjoying looking around and the animals at the zoo. On their way home, while on the freeway, the Clampetts are getting fed up with the other motorists’ rudeness. When they return to the mansion, Granny takes Elly and Jethro to the freeway to teach the drivers a lesson. Drysdale and Jane finally reach Jed, telling him that Jones is a fake. But Jed says he figured that out because he can’t hold his moonshine well.
Season 1, Episode 24 Aired: 3/6/1963 Jed Becomes a Banker The Clampetts want to go home because the hunting in Beverly Hills is poor. But Jed says they aren’t going home just to shoot. Elly suggests they shoot skeet, which is what Drysdale shoots. As a matter of fact, Drysdale is preparing for a skeet-shooting competition with Bill Hacker. But Drysdale is having troubles; his partner is hurt, and the Clampetts are shooting at passing cars, according to his wife. So Drysdale visits and learns what a great shot Jed is, hiring him as Vice President so he can compete in the competition. Drysdale takes the whole clan to the skeet-shooting club, learning how every member of the Clampett family is a great shot. After practicing, Jed goes to the bank, where Hacker is waiting for him, and Jed tells him all about how he got the job. Hacker tells Pendleton about this, and to make things fair, Hacker is allowed to choose Drysdale’s skeet-shooting partner. Hacker goes into the Vice President’s office, where Granny is cleaning the dust off the desk, and Hacker chooses this scrubwoman to be Drysdale’s partner. But the next day at the competition, Hacker sees what a great shot Granny is.
Season 1, Episode 25 Aired: 3/13/1963 The Family Tree Pearl is tired of all the old things around the mansion and wants Jed to buy new things so they can enter high society. This very day, Mrs. Drysdale is expecting a very important visitor, Priscilla Ralph Alden Smith Standish, who is an expert on historical artifacts and genealogy. Mrs. Drysdale wants the Clampetts to stay far away from her guest. But this backfires when Mrs. Smith Standish is told that Mrs. Drysdale is next door at the Clampett mansion, and she goes there. As soon as she arrives, Mrs. Smith Standish falls in love with all of the family’s old properties and artifacts. When Mrs. Drysdale finds out where her guest is, she calls the Clampetts, only to be told that Mrs. Smith Standish is all tied up in Jed’s trunk. Mrs. Smith Standish is looking through family treasures, but Mrs. Drysdale thinks the Clampetts are torturing her. When Mrs. Drysdale arrives, Mrs. Smith Standish tells her that she believes the Clampetts preceded the “Mayflower.” Mrs. Drysdale ends up making lye soap and washing pewter dishes to please Mrs. Smith Standish.
Season 1, Episode 26 Aired: 3/20/1963 Jed Cuts the Family Tree Mrs. Smith Standish is spending more time with the Clampetts, desperate to find out if the Clampetts did in fact precede the ‘Mayflower.’ And Mrs. Drysdale is continuously tortured, with old-fashioned chores and with a goat, which eats her hat, causing her to get very sad, making` Jane and Drysdale think she has been drinking. With this happening, Pearl is trying to prepare the family for high society. She buys them all gifts in town: a polo outfit for Jed, safari outfit for Granny, and tou-tous for Elly and Jethro. Mrs. Smith Standish finally gets the call on the family, and says if Jed’s Great Grandfather’s name was Ezekiel, then they will be famous and treated to the social graces, including meeting the President. But Jed says his name was Jeremiah. When Granny asks him why he lied, he said he enjoyed the simple life and wouldn’t know what to say to the President.
Season 1, Episode 27 Aired: 3/27/1963 Granny's Spring Tonic It’s Spring Tonic time, and Granny hands it around to the family, giving Jed a double dose because he made a mean comment on it. Meanwhile, at the bank, the secretary Gloria Buckles, who has worked on the Clampett account, has said she can take the paper work to Jed. When she gets up there, she transforms herself from a plain secretary to a gorgeous one, with her sights set on Jed’s money. She flirts with Jed, telling him that she needs a mountain man to make her happy. The family is worried about this young gold digger, and the fact that Jed has had a double dose of tonic. They call Drysdale and he rushes over, not recognizing Gloria. She reveals that her and Jed have discussed marriage, and when questioned, Jed says it is true. Gloria asks when they should set the date, and Jed says a few years, because that is when Jethro will be of marrying age. Jethro runs off with Gloria, and Jane runs after them to get her man back. Elly asks her father why he doesn’t want to marry her, and he says you have to start worrying when the bait starts chasing you.
Season 1, Episode 28 Aired: 4/3/1963 Jed Pays His Income Tax Drysdale tells an IRS man the story of the Clampetts and how they got to be where they are today. But Granny and Jed don’t trust this man because they think he is a revenuer, and refuse to let him on the property. But Drysdale helps him get in good, and they end-up eating leftovers – mustard greens and possum innards.
Season 1, Episode 29 Aired: 4/10/1963 The Clampetts and the Dodgers Jed and Jethro are going to shoot golf with Drysdale and Leo Durocher, but Jed thinks that they’ll be shooting some new type of critter that lives underground, flies, and is a real challenge to kill. Drysdale calls to cancel, so the Clampetts go ahead to the club to shoot golf. When they visit Mr. Durocher, he thinks they are caddies. He tries to ditch them, but the plan doesn’t work, and Jed and Jethro catch up. After Jethro messes up Durocher’s putt, he throws his golf ball in the tree, and Jethro ends up impressing him by knocking the ball out of the tree with a baseball. So Durocher visits the mansion to tell Jethro about the game and get him to sign a contract. He also tests Jethro’s arm, but learns that he can only throw a ball that has been smeared with possum fat, which disappointments him. Elly tells him she can throw a ball just as well as Jethro without possum fat and proves it by throwing the ball so hard that it knocks Durocher in the pool.
Season 1, Episode 30 Aired: 4/17/1963 Duke Becomes a Father Elly tells Granny how Duke has been feeling poorly. The clan tries to help make the family dog feel better, and Elly tells Jed she figures he misses Claudette, the poodle Mrs. Drysdale’s dog Claude is now with. Jethro then brings Jed a letter from Paris, France, which the clan figures is from Mlle. Denise, who brought Claudette over. Jed looks at the letter, seeing it is in French, and heads down to the bank, where Mrs. Drysdale is anticipating Claude and Claudette’s puppies, for Jane to read it. In the letter, Mlle. Denise says she is coming to Beverly Hills. When Mlle. Denise comes, Jed slicks up for the lovely Frenchwoman. Duke meanwhile tries to visit Claudette, getting shooed by Mrs. Drysdale while Drysdale looks at the new puppies, seeing that the puppies look like Duke. After Jed’s French lesson, Mrs. Drysdale comes to complain about Duke, Claudette, and the puppies. After the Drysdales leave, Jed asks Mlle. Denise out for a date. Jane accompanies them as a translator, with Jethro as her date, but when Jed and Denise return, they come back with Duke and Claudette instead.
Season 1, Episode 31 Aired: 4/24/1963 The Clampetts Entertain Granny is feeling lonely, so the family tries to get her riled up so she can start a fight with someone, since that always makes her feel better. The plan backfires though, and the family apologized to Granny. So to get Granny in higher spirits, Jed invites the Drysdales and Jane to supper. But the chairman of the board, Marty Van Ransohoff stops by and invites the Drysdales to dinner on his yacht. He also mentions inviting the Clampetts. Drysdale doesn’t want Marty to see the hillbillies and makes up excuses as to why they can’t come. Drysdale tells Jed that he and his wife can’t make it to their dinner, and will come another time. But the plans get rearranged, and Jane and Marty end up going to the Clampett mansion for dinner. When Drysdale hears this, he worries he’ll get fired. Marty doesn’t know what to expect when he arrives at the mansion, and when he sees the hillbillies, he believes the Clampetts are in costume and this is a themed party. Marty and Jane decide to join the fun. After the night, Marty is tremendously impressed with the Clampetts and their party, having the best time he’s had in a while.
Season 1, Episode 32 Aired: 5/1/1963 The Clampetts in Court As the Clampetts are going to the bank, a car bumps into them. When the Johnsons in the car learn how much money the Clampetts have, they decide to sue them. In court, the Johnsons appear to be in a bad condition and make up a story where the Clampetts smashed into their car while intoxicated. The Clampetts aren’t aware that they're the ones being referred to and they are the ones in trouble. When they are told, they try to figure out why the Johnsons are lying like this. After everyone returns from recess, the Clampetts get to tell their side of the story. After the Johnsons’ attorney questions Jed, Jed refuses to come down and tells the story the way it really happened. After that, court lets out to make the decision, and when court resumes, Jed says he wants to give the money to Mr. Johnson. He tells the judge how he saw James with his “daughter,” and when Mabel hears of this, she chases James out of the courtroom.
Season 1, Episode 33 Aired: 5/8/1963 The Clampetts Get Psychoanalyzed Pearl returns to Beverly Hills with reports of Jethrine’s wedding, who has eloped with Jasper Depew. Jethro comes home from school early, saying he needs a Certificate Of Health to return to school. The family tries to come up with a doctor, and Jethro comes up with the doctor Mrs. Drysdale has been seeing, Dr. Twombly, a psychiatrist. Jethro meets with Twombly, who asks him about his family, not getting any good answers. Jethro returns home and tells Pearl that the doctor wants to meet her. But when Pearl meets with the doctor, she mistakes his actions, closing the curtains and inviting her to the couch, as advances. Jed visits Twombly to get him to come to the mansion and apologize, and Twombly agrees, being utterly fascinated by the Clampetts. Granny questions him of his medical abilities, throwing out mountain illnesses and cures, which the psychiatrist knows nothing about. After a few misunderstandings, including Elly’s new jaguar, which the doctor thinks is a car, the doctor runs out.
Season 1, Episode 34 Aired: 5/15/1963 The Psychiatrist Gets Clampetted Jethro returns to Dr. Twombly’s office to get his Certificate Of Health. Twombly examines Jethro, learning about each member of the family. But the family member that interests the psychiatrist is Granny. Twombly asks Drysdale to help him learn more about the family, wanting to know more about Granny. Meanwhile, Pearl is hoping to see the doctor again, and Granny creates a love charm for Pearl to use to conjure the doctor to her. But to show her how to use it, Granny says the spell, and Twombly comes running in wanting Granny, making her think she conjured him for herself. The rest of the time, Granny tries to “break the spell,” but nothing works. Twombly wants Granny even more each time, and the clan still thinks the spell is much too strong. Granny finally gives in and decides to go with Twombly, but the two get into a disagreement about the rain, and Granny ends up being right – it pours. Twombly leaves, and Granny is glad to get rid of him.
Season 1, Episode 35 Aired: 5/22/1963 Elly Becomes a Secretary The Clampetts learn that some of the bank employees are sick, so the clan decides to go down to the bank and offer Drysdale some help. Drysdale is getting ready for the Bankers’ Convention, and the Clampetts take over his bank while he is away. Jed acts as the President, and Elly is the secretary. Granny goes over to Jane’s apartment to help her get well, and Jethro gives Drysdale a speech – the Gettysburg Address. Jed and Elly work on their new positions, as Drysdale gives his speech, which he formats with his own words, which impresses the audience. At the bank, a man stops by, Mr. Wilson, the to get money for his chicken ranch. Jed gives him the money, being glad to help out. When Drysdale returns, he tells Elly that there was a contest to find the nicest bank in Beverly Hills, and Wilson visited six banks that were secretly nominated, and the Commerce Bank won. Granny returns, handing out her medicine, and Bob Billington, who has been making a move on Elly, gets a taste, causing him to spasm, which Elly thinks it a dance he wanted to teach her.
Season 1, Episode 36 Aired: 5/29/1963 Jethro's Friend A friend of Jethro’s from school, Armstrong Dueser McHugh III, comes to the mansion to visit. But Armstrong is treated very delicately at his house, and his chauffeur is very worried about how the boy will be treated. At the Clampett mansion, Armstrong is treated to a really good time, eating real food, climbing trees, swimming, learning to fight, fishing, and more. Wilkins returns to the mansion, after seeking help from Drysdale and Jane, to pick Armstrong up, but the boy refuses to go. After using the self-defense moves Elly May taught him, Armstrong tells Wilkins he’ll call him when he needs him. Just as Wilkins is about to leave, he sees Elly May’s skunk, and sprays it with antiseptic spray. The skunk sprays him back, and Wilkins runs away.
Season 2, Episode 1 Aired: 9/25/1963 Jed Gets the Misery Jed is feeling poorly, and the family is worried about him. To make Elly feel better, Jed reveals that he is faking an illness to please Granny. When Drysdale hears of this, he decides to help out to and fakes sick as well. Granny puts him in bed and tells him he needs to wait. When Drysdale’s doctor, Dr. Clyburn, hears of this, he rushes over to the Clampett mansion to see what is going on. Granny mistakes Clyburn as a patient and puts him in bed with Jed and Drysdale. Clyburn is now very upset about all of this. Jane visits and hears of Granny planning to cut on the patients. Elly calms her by telling her that Granny is only going to cut off hair and fingernails. Clyburn tries to help Granny out, when he learns of her plan to cut since she has no medicine. He tries to get her medicine, but at the pharmacy, Granny’s mountain medicines aren’t available. After that’s not a success, she goes on with cutting the hair and nails. In the end, the guys feel better, making Granny happy.
Season 2, Episode 2 Aired: 10/2/1963 Hair-Raising Holiday Drysdale is planning to tell Granny to stop “doctoring” after she cut off his hair to “cure” him. He sends Jane to tell her, and when she arrives at the mansion, the clan is celebrating Possum Day, and Jane doesn’t go through with it. At the bank, Dr. Clyburn is complaining about what Granny did and tells Drysdale that he’s going to report her. Jane returns and says that she didn’t tell Granny to stop practicing medicine. Drysdale tells Clyburn he’ll stop Granny. Just as the family is about to leave to watch the Possum Day Parade, Drysdale and Jane pull up. Drysdale tells Granny she can’t practice medicine in Beverly Hills, but after seeing how she grew Jed’s hair back, he doesn’t stop her. Granny tries to grow Clyburn’s hair, but he mean-mouths her, and she decides to leave Beverly Hills. And the Clampetts get further offended when they are told there is no Possum Day, just as Drysdale is planning it. Clyburn visits the bank again, and sees that Drysdale’s hair grew back. Clyburn begs Granny to grow his hair back, and the Clampetts are told there will be a Possum Day Parade, but a day later. The next day, the family celebrates the holiday.
Season 2, Episode 3 Aired: 10/9/1963 Granny's Garden The Clampetts wake up before daybreak to plow and plant crops in the front yard. But the only one who is truly awake is Granny. The rest of the family falls asleep. After Granny complains, the family wakes up. As Granny goes to make breakfast, she sees the mule Elly got to pull the plow so Jed and Jethro wouldn’t have to. Granny is afraid she is having visions, until Jed confirms he sees it too. After breakfast, they start to plow, but Drysdale hears this from his house and runs over to stop them. But it doesn’t matter because the plowing mule refuses to work, until Elly steps in. And Drysdale says they can’t plow because there is a zoning ordinance. Jane visits, also telling the clan they can’t do any plowing. Since the mule decides to not work again, Jed tells Drysdale and Jane why Granny wants to plow the front yard. Jane comes up with an idea. She takes the Clampetts on a field trip to show Granny modern farmers a grocery store to show Granny she can buy her vegetables. After they return, Granny still wants to plow the front yard because her Confederate money was turned down and she couldn’t buy anything.
Season 2, Episode 4 Aired: 10/16/1963 Elly Starts to School Elly May is preparing for her first day of the Willows, a finishing school Mrs. Drysdale recommended where she hopes the girls will offend Elly and run the Clampetts out of town. Jane hears of Mrs. Drysdale’s plan and decides to prevent Elly from being hurt. She poses as a fashion expert who has heard that the famous trendsetter Elly May Clampett is going to the school. In doing so, one girl, Cynthia Fenwick, wants to acquire Elly’s hillbilly look. Elly returns home early, and the family decides to invite Cynthia over. When she hears this, Cynthia is very excited and tells her mother how the Clampetts are the top trendsetters, and they accept. But the clan misunderstands the Fenwicks, thinking they've fallen on hard times. They bring them clothes and after mistaking their gardener’s place for their house, decide to bring furniture. Mrs. Drysdale sees them packing and believes her neighbors are finally moving and helps them pack. Cynthia calls to say they can’t make it, and Jed invites them over for tomorrow. Jed tells Mrs. Drysdale that she can stop moving furniture, and after she leaves, Granny tells Jed she emptied most of the rooms.
Season 2, Episode 5 Aired: 10/23/1963 The Clampett Look The Clampetts are getting ready for Mrs. Fenwick and Cynthia to come to share a meal with them, hoping to give them a better life than what the Clampetts believe they are leading. Jed and Jethro head to visit the Fenwick house, still thinking the gardener’s place is their house, and after seeing the little building, decide to get the Fenwicks to move into their place with them. Mrs. Drysdale hears this and is very excited that this high family might be her next-door neighbor. When the Fenwicks arrive, the Clampetts prepare to bathe the women they think don’t clean themselves. Before the meal, the Clampetts try to get the Fenwicks to see the pool for their bath, and the two women see Jethro. After a misunderstanding, Cynthia thinks he is the Duke Of Oxford, gets excited, and decides to visit the pool. After an unsuccessful try of giving Mrs. Fenwick a bath, the Widow runs out, but gets into a fight with Mrs. Drysdale. When the chauffeur comes, the Fenwicks run to the car, and the Clampetts follow. They see him take the women to what they think is his house, and leave after they see the good deed being done.
Season 2, Episode 6 Aired: 10/30/1963 Jethro's First Love Jed is trying to see if Jethro is ready to start dating and tests him. After he sees that Jethro is ready to start, he tells him how you know a girl is right for you and how you hear a special music playing. Jethro decides to go down to the bank, where Chickadee Laverne, a burlesque dancer, is demanding her pay for a performance the previous night. As she is leaving, she has her hidden transistor radio on, and when Jethro hears it, he believes this is a sign of love. He rushes Chickadee home with him, and after talk about an engagement, Chickadee thinks she will be dancing in the mansion, unaware the Clampetts mean marriage. They try to get to know more about this girl. When Drysdale and Jane visit, Drysdale asks about the problem Granny mentions, and when he is told it is Chickadee Laverne, he tells Jed that she isn’t right for Jethro. As Chickadee is about to talk about her new routine, Drysdale whisks her away. Jed thinks this is a good thing, because he heard music playing when he looked at her, the same way Jethro did, thinking he started to fall in love with her.
Season 2, Episode 7 Aired: 11/6/1963 Chickadee Returns Jethro is still hoping to marry burlesque dancer Chickadee Laverne, and she still is hoping for a dance engagement from the Clampetts. Chickadee returns to the mansion, making Jethro very happy. She plans to show them her whole new act, Little Red Riding Hood. But after Elmer, the raccoon, pulls off her dress early by mistake, Jethro must marry her after seeing her in her underwear, really just a costume. Granny tries to prepare Chickadee for her upcoming marriage, teaching her to cook and clean. But it is all called off after Jethro sees the prop food in her Little Red Riding Hood basket, thinking it is real, and Chickadee doesn't want to do all the household chores Granny is trying to teach her for when she becomes a wife, as Chickadee thinks this is all part of what she has to do in her engagement.
Season 2, Episode 8 Aired: 11/13/1963 The Clampetts Are Overdrawn After seeing the pool man putting chlorine in the pool, thinking it is poison and getting a letter they are overdrawn, the Clampetts think that they are broke and Drysdale is trying to get rid of them. However, this is all a misunderstanding, since the letter Jed got was meant for another J.D. Clampett, Jake, who is an out-of-work actor. When Jake gets Jed’s letter, he takes advantage of the notice that he has thirty-six million dollars, buying a new car and other things. Meanwhile, Granny thinks they spent all their money, and the Clampetts still wonder if Drysdale is trying to get rid of them, after they get threatened by a cop, see a man with hot tar in front of their house, and their water is shut off. Jed decides that they still need to earn the money that is overdrawn, so they decide to look for jobs to pay back the money. But Jane calls the Clampetts and soon learns an imposter has drawn out Jed’s money. Jake Clampett is arrested, and when the Clampetts hear this, they decide that if he is related to them, they want to have him over. Jake and his wife Opal visit, meet the family, and stay with them a week.
Season 2, Episode 9 Aired: 11/20/1963 The Clampetts Go Hollywood Jake and Opal Clampett are continuing to stay at the Clampett mansion, and Elly and Jethro are more than happy to serve them. But Granny isn’t impressed by Jake at all, and isn’t even sure if Jake is related to Jed. Jethro and Elly both decide they want to get in the movie business, and the two get help from Jake and Opal. Jethro turns into a Marlon Brando-type and Elly becomes like a glamorous movie star, getting renamed Venus Adore. Granny still isn’t impressed, and Jake tries to get in good with Granny by telling her she will be the dance hall queen in the new Hoot Gibson picture. This plan works, and Granny goes Hollywood as well. But Jed isn’t happy about what has become of his family, and decides to make them realize how foolish they look. With the help of Jane and Drysdale, who has just learned of what happened, Jed goes “Hollywood” too, and the rest of the clan realize how ridiculous they look. Granny, Elly, and Jethro chase Jake away, and all is well again.
Season 2, Episode 10 Aired: 11/27/1963 Turkey Day Elly May makes a pet out of the Thanksgiving turkey Drysdale gives the family, making it impossible for "Herman" to be killed. And to celebrate in her own way, Mrs. Drysdale organizes a picture to represent the first Thanksgiving. Of course, she has no idea that the two Native Americans are actors. When they head to the Clampetts mansion to get the turkey for the picture, Elly and Granny think they are being attacked. But in the end, all is resolved, and the Clampetts, the Drysdales, Miss Jane, and the two actors end up having a great Thanksgiving dinner without the turkey.
Season 2, Episode 11 Aired: 12/4/1963 The Garden Party Mrs. Drysdale is having a garden party and tells the Clampetts not to attend. However, they misunderstand and think she wants them to come. Jane and Drysdale try to stop them, but when they say how they still want to go, Jane arranges for them to have society clothes. When they arrive at the party, Mrs. Drysdale sends them back next door to handle the overflow crowd. But the clan gets bored, and decides to make it more exciting. When Granny sees an alligator in the pool, actually inflatable, she shoots it, and a few of Mrs. Drysdale's party guests rush over to see what happened, and decide to stay, especially when they see Elly and Jethro. Eventually the whole party ends up at the Clampetts, and they show these Beverly Hills folk how to have a real party.
Season 2, Episode 12 Aired: 12/11/1963 Elly Needs a Maw Jed visits the bank to tell Drysdale that he plans to go back home to look for a wife so Elly May can finally have a mother. Drysdale tries to think of a bride for Jed, and when Mrs. Fenwick visits, he decides that she would be a perfect match for Jed. However, the Clampetts still think she is poor as a church mouse, and Mrs. Fenwick believes this is all a business deal. When Mrs. Fenwick visits, Jed misunderstands her, thinking she desperately wants to get married, not beating around the bush at all, while she is only trying to get the funding for her project. In the end, Mrs. Fenwick realizes that Jed wants to get married to her and leaves, after getting her little dog back.
Season 2, Episode 13 Aired: 12/18/1963 The Clampetts Get Culture The Clampetts are having no success with getting acquainted with their neighbors. Not to mention, the clan is having trouble with Mrs. Drysdale and Mrs. Potts. They decide to go back home to the hills, and when they go see Drysdale, they feel they are not wanted. Drysdale tries to clear everything up, and even has his Italian tailor to make a full suit for Jed, though Jed thinks this man is trying to tie him up. But to solve all the problems, Drysdale organizes a bridge game with Granny, Jane, Mrs. Potts, and his wife, and he takes Jed and Jethro golfing. But when they get there, they decide to not change in the hall (actually the locker room), and head to the steam room, which shrinks their clothes. They return, and learn Granny and Elly had no success, so decide to go home. But they change their minds when they finally get the friendly treatment they were looking for - carolers Drysdale and wife, Jane, Mrs. Potts, and Janet Trego.
Season 2, Episode 14 Aired: 12/25/1963 Christmas at the Clampetts It is Christmas time, and the Clampetts receive beautiful gifts from the Drysdales, including a boat and a television set. However, they mistake the gifts for other things, the TV set for a washing machine, and the boat as someone else’s. The Drysdales also give the Clampetts a pet chimpanzee, which they mistake for a sailor from another country. But Elly realizes it is actually an animal and begins to play with it. And to share the Christmas spirit, the Clampetts give Mrs. Drysdale what she wants – a full-length mink. Of course, she means the coat, while the Clampetts get the animal. When the Drysdales arrive, Mrs. Drysdale figures it is a diamond she is receiving, than learns that it is lost. And when her coat falls on the floor and Drysdale hides it to teach her a lesson, she worries about where that went to. She runs out in a hurry, trying to find her mink. To complete their Christmas, the Clampetts decide to find some water to sail their boat. However, all they see is people driving their boats around. They go back home and see on their TV/washing machine that it is all dried up too. They had a short Christmas, but a merry one.
Season 2, Episode 15 Aired: 1/1/1964 A Man for Elly Granny is glued to the television set the Clampetts received for Christmas, especially with one TV Western star, Quirt Manly. She really wants to meet him, and Drysdale arranges it to happen. And Granny already has him set up for Elly May, because she knows he is probably the only who can tame the vine-swinging girl. However, when he arrives at the mansion, the Clampetts see he isn’t who they thought he was. Quirt Manly is actually a short actor with a high-pitched voice who doesn’t do any of his own stunts or riding. But Elly begins liking him, though Granny is disappointed. Jed tries to make Quirt look more impressive, but without much luck. Meanwhile, Jethro borrowed Quirt’s car and many girls on the street believe he is their favorite Western star. When they all arrive at the mansion, Jed tells the girls he’ll pay them if they make a fuss over the little cowboy inside. They do, but over Skipper, in a cowboy outfit, instead. And Granny begins shooting at Quirt, chasing him out.
Season 2, Episode 16 Aired: 1/8/1964 The Giant Jackrabbit At the mansion, the clan is in need of food, because the hunting in Beverly Hills is horrible. They call a catering company, but get mean-mouthed. At the bank, Drysdale gets a call and learns that he got a kangaroo from a friend and it is at his house. But the kangaroo gets out, and Granny sees it, thinking it is a giant jackrabbit. When she tells Jed, he thinks it is a vision from her jug. She never can seem to catch the creature, and whenever she tells someone, they don't believe her. She finally does, and when Beverly Caterers comes, Granny tells her to cook it, but it escapes from her rope, and runs back to the Drysdale place.
Season 2, Episode 17 Aired: 1/15/1964 The Girl from Home Lafe Crick arrives with his daughter Essiebelle. He found love letters Jethro wrote to his daughter, a beauty contest winner. He plans to get Jethro and Essiebelle married so he can get his paws in the Clampett fortune. However, the two don't want to get married, Essiebelle already has a man back home, and Jethro doesn't want to marry Essiebelle because she doesn't look the way she did before. She has gained a considerable amount of weight. When Jed finds this out, he arranges a plan to get Lafe to cancel the engagement between the two, and it works. So in the end, everybody's happy. Essiebelle is marrying her boyfriend back in the hills, and the Clampetts give her the diamond jewelry they bought at the jewelry store. And Jethro is still single.
Season 2, Episode 18 Aired: 1/22/1964 Lafe Lingers On Lafe Crick returns to the Clampett mansion looking to get rich, off of Jed's money. He tries to get a job at the bank guarding Jed's money, only to get a few million of it. But Granny has her doubts about the freeloader, though he seems to be proving her wrong. He's excited to work at the bank, though nobody else knows the reason why. He even digs Granny's root cellar, thinking that they buried their fortune in the back yard. Lafe never does get any of the Clampett cash.
Season 2, Episode 19 Aired: 2/5/1964 The Race for Queen Elly May enters a Beverly Hills beauty contest, Queen Of Beverly Hills, and the Drysdales and Miss Jane try to make sure that she'll win. Though, when they hear it is a race, Granny is set on entering. When she finds out what type of contest it is, Granny drops out. Elly makes the final two, but doesn't win when she makes her speech. Instead, the judges give the prize to one of their own, a hidden beauty, to represent the city of Beverly Hills.
Season 2, Episode 20 Aired: 2/12/1964 Lafe Returns Jed is looking for a beau for his gorgeous daughter, so Drysdale and Jane set Elly up with Fred Penrod, a young accountant at the bank. However, no one can seem to get his name straight. Meanwhile, Lafe Crick returns to plant a paw-paw tree in the back yard, really to look for the Clampett fortune he still believes is buried in the back yard. He tries to ensure that the Clampett fortune will be shared with him, by trying to get Jed to set Elly up with his son and by getting Fred to leave, making him believe Elly is his twin sister, just bigger and tougher. Fred meets Elly, and they hit it off right away. And Lafe volunteers to dig a hole for the tree, hoping to find money, and ends up hitting oil four times. Lafe says he plugged up the hole the oil came out of, but it backs up and ends up coming out of the fountain in the pool.
Season 2, Episode 21 Aired: 2/19/1964 Son of Lafe Returns Elly May and her new beau, Fred Penron, are getting rather serious. Meanwhile, Lafe Crick returns, this time with his son Dub. He plans to set Dub up with Elly, to once again try to get some of Jed's money. Jed and Jethro try to hide this from Granny because the Cricks really rile her up. She sees the Cricks, but Jed tries to convince her that she is having visions. She sets a trap, thinking she caught a Crick, but actually just catches Jethro. When Jethro shows her the Cricks, Granny refuses to believe, thinking it is another vision.
Season 2, Episode 22 Aired: 2/26/1964 The Clampetts Go Fishing Drysdale and Jane try to get the Clampetts interested in deep-sea fishing, but face an obstacle - Granny. She has a fear of water and refuses to on a boat. So, Jane comes up with the idea of letting them visit Marineland. They decide to go right away and are impressed by the giant fishing holes. And Granny sees the fish of fishes, a giant whale. She tries to catch it, but Jed takes the family home to keep them out of trouble. When they get home, Elly reveals she brought home a baby seal. The Clampetts plan to visit Marineland to return it, and Granny plans to finally catch that whale.
Season 2, Episode 23 Aired: 3/11/1964 The Critter Doctor Duke is sick, and Elly calls the "critter doctor" from the zoo. When Jed finds out he is a "college boy," he thinks it is a possible beau for Elly May, not knowing he is a graduate and an older man. Granny is against this doctor coming, and she mistakes a young salesman who is selling bug repellents for the doctor. She is trying to get rid of the crazy "bug doctor," who is trying to sell his products on her. But she learns who the real doctor is and ends up going out on a date with him.
Season 2, Episode 24 Aired: 3/18/1964 A Bride for Jed Country musicians Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampetts and decide that Jed needs a wife. With the help of Jane and Drysdale, they decide to get him a wife the way they did - by holding auditions for girl singers. Meanwhile, Gladys and Louise travel to San Francisco to get away from Granny and her country cooking lessons, saying that is the way they can make Elly May ladylike. They find out about Lester and Earl holding auditions and realize that's how they got their husbands. They come home right away and Lester and Earl cancel the audition scheme, which Jed is still unaware of.
Season 2, Episode 25 Aired: 3/25/1964 Granny Versus the Weather Bureau Granny gets tired of the weather girl on TV saying that the weather is going to be clear when it is actually going to rain. She has ways to correctly measure the weather, mainly her weather beetle, Cecil. She confronts the head meteorologist of the U.S Weather Bureau but without luck. Jed goes down to speak to him and mentions the name “Daisy,” making Addison thinks he means Hurricane Daisy, and tells of the plan to get rid of her. After the misunderstanding it cleared up, Addison heads to the Clampett mansion to show a movie about how the weather is measured in modern times. But when the movie ends, it starts to rain, just as Granny predicted. The next day, the Weather Bureau receives many calls of complaint, and Addison guarantees that the weather prediction will be right from now on – Granny gave him tips and her weather beetle.
Season 2, Episode 26 Aired: 4/1/1964 Another Neighbor Countess Maria comes to Beverly Hills, making Mrs. Drysdale very excited. But she wants to keep the Countess away from the hillbillies. Though, that is too late. It's Spring Tonic time, and Granny passes it around the neighborhood, including at Countess Maria's house. She falls in love with the brew and visits the Clampetts. They become friends instantly. She starts falling for Jed, now planning to marry her 6th husband, hoping it is an American. She plans to throw a party with the Tonic, but gives up after Mrs. Drysdale dumps it in the pool. But soon she discovers that was a good thing. It is watered down perfectly for city folks. The party occurs, and the Countess finally gets her American husband - her chauffer Humprey.
Season 2, Episode 27 Aired: 4/8/1964 The Bank Raising Jed gets invited to the opening of Drysdale’s new Commerce Bank building. Granny thinks that he will actually be building the bank. Jed attends the party and meets two of Drysdale friends, who think he is a market wizard. They listen to Jed talk and take tips from him, actually just Jed talking about food. When Jed is told he is helping to build the bank, he and Jethro head home to get tools and pick up Elly and Granny to help out. When they get there, they cause a bit of a disturbance and misunderstand what is going on. They think they have to help build the “barn.” And when everybody leaves, they feel they should do it themselves. The next day, Jane and Drysdale look out the window and see something in the space where the bank will be. The Clampetts built a very small New Commerce Bank building over night.
Season 2, Episode 28 Aired: 4/15/1964 The Great Crawdad Hunt There is excitement going on at the hillbilly’s mansion – the package from home arrives. They get everything they can’t get in Beverly Hills, including crawdads. Meanwhile, at the bank, Lucas and Pendleton are trying to find out what crawdad is. They overhear Jane on the phone with Jed saying that he will share his stock of crawdad with Drysdale. The Clampetts are trying to figure out how many crawdads they have and learn of how the government put three men on the task of finding moon(shine). And Fleming and Pendleton think they have figured out what crawdad is, an underwater tank. They send the man who delivered the package to learn about the family, and he comes back with reports that the entire clan is scientific geniuses. Granny makes the fuel that sends people to the moon (she’s making moonshine to send back home), Elly can alter genetics (she’s playing with a possum, giant rat, and a baby bobcat, giant kitten), and Jethro has a math where two and two equal five (trying to figure out how many crawdads will last a month, unsuccessfully). The three pledge to leave the secrets of the Clampett genius alone.
Season 2, Episode 29 Aired: 4/22/1964 The Dress Shop Mr. Drysdale buys the Clampetts a dress store using their money, and the clan decides to check it out. When they arrive at The House of Renee, they are mistaken for poor people, and Renee tries to help them. She thinks they need jobs. However, the Clampetts think Renee and her models are poor and starving. Renee gives the Clampetts money for food, and they think it is for them to buy food for Renee. They come back with food from home, saying they ran into a sale. Granny gives her some tonic, and when they go to feed the girls, Jane and Drysdale come, and think Renee is drunk. When the Clampetts come out, Renee is told they are the new owners and tell her to go to their mansion to eat. The Clampetts put on the fashion show Renee was going to give, with Elly as the model. They auction the dresses, each for less than twenty dollars, and at the end, they make nearly fifty dollars for Renee and the girls.
Season 2, Episode 30 Aired: 4/29/1964 The House of Granny The Clampetts are preparing to open up their new dress shop, The House of Granny, and at a decent hour – the crack of dawn. But when Jed and Jethro go down to the shop, trying to pick the lock because they don’t have their key, they get arrested since it appears they are trying to break in. Everything is resolved, and the Clampetts continue with their plan to open the shop, which includes a barber chair, checkers, a pickle barrel, a cracker barrel, and homemade dresses. When Maurice arrives, Jed tells him he can do whatever job he wishes to, and the doorman says he wants to be a couturier. Jed tells him he can, and after Maurice hugs Jed out of happiness, he says that if that is what a couturier does, he’ll go back to opening doors. After Drysdale and Jane visit, the Clampetts scare away a customer with their hillbilly hospitality. In the end, Jed decides to give his store to Maurice.
Season 2, Episode 31 Aired: 5/6/1964 The Continental Touch After Elly refuses to learn cooking, especially after making biscuits that attacked, Jed takes Elly to The House Of Maurice, where they decide to teach her manners and give her gorgeous gowns. Elly’s transformation is a success, so much of one that when Mrs. Drysdale sees her, she mistakes her for a princess. They decide to play a trick on Margaret, after she mean-mouthed Maurice’s dear friends. Mrs. Drysdale invites her to a party, and after Elly hears it, she reveals herself to Mrs. Drysdale. When she learns the truth, Mrs. Drysdale cancels the party. Elly goes back to cooking, bread, but she puts in all the yeast, and it attacks the family.
Season 2, Episode 32 Aired: 5/13/1964 Jed, Incorporated Jed becomes head of a corporation, which Drysdale organized for him as a tax write-off. The Clampetts decide they want to actually help out at their corporation, and get the penthouse suite in the bank building. They get all dressed up, Elly in one of her ball gowns, and go to the bank. Granny, the Vice President, finds trouble when she enters the elevator. And when she sees what “Vice” means, she gets upset and threatens to leave. Jed changes the sign so it says “Nice President,” and the clan calls Drysdale because they aren’t sure what to do. Jane explains it to them, and Drysdale sums it up by saying they have to get money to the people. They decide to give money to the people, by throwing handfuls of it out the window. Twenty thousand dollars later, the Clampetts are back to trying to make Elly lady-like and wear a dress.
Season 2, Episode 33 Aired: 5/20/1964 Granny Learns to Drive After Granny takes a cab home and gets charged for the ride, she decides that it is time for her to learn how to drive. As she is, the taxi driver who took Granny home is still trying to collect the fair, but after a series of events, begins to believe that he is in a mental hospital. Granny, during her lesson, mistakenly gets on the road, but is pulled off the street by a police officer after her concerned family and Drysdale and Jane ask for an escort to bring her home safely. When Granny, Jethro, and the cop arrive at the mansion, the cabbie tells the officer what the mansion really is, and Granny promises not to drive. But soon Jed and Drysdale hear a car starting, but when they run outside, it is only Skipper, Elly May's chimp.
Season 2, Episode 34 Aired: 5/27/1964 Cabin in Beverly Hills Jed puts up the cabin for Granny's birthday, which Mrs. Drysdale is not happy about. During the celebrating, a sociology student stops by and sees the Clampetts. She thinks they are Drysdale's servants and works to liberate them, freeing them from their life of servitude.
Season 2, Episode 35 Aired: 6/3/1964 Jed Foils a Home Wrecker Drysdale tries to save the cabin for the Clampetts, but his wife calls a professional home wrecker to tear down the mountain shack. Meanwhile, Ginny Jennings and her sociology professor come back to visit the Clampetts, and see that they are still occupying the cabin. However, the clan is only cleaning up the cabin. Drysdale spends the night in it to save it to turn the home wrecker away, which he succeeds in. He wears old clothes, and Jethro takes his suit and his limo. When Ginny and the Professor come back, they see Jethro and he tells them Drysdale got thrown out of his house. Though while he means by Mrs. Drysdale, they think the Clampetts did so, and when they go to the cabin, they see Drysdale chained with Granny holding a shotgun, and she turns back the home wrecker and his partner. Ginny and her Professor leave, and Granny reveals the key for the lock has been missing for 40 years.
Season 2, Episode 36 Aired: 6/10/1964 Jethro's Graduation Jethro is very excited about graduating from the sixth grade, even getting a new watch as a present and a dark green and yellow-checkered suit with a glow in the dark tie. But in order to prevent embarrassment, Mrs. Potts gets help from Drysdale and Diana to get Jethro to miss his sixth grade graduation. Diana and Mrs. Potts turn Jed and Jethro’s watches back 45 minutes. Though Granny figured that the watches everyone is wearing are wrong and checks the time herself by using the sun as a clock. She is right, and she, Elly, and Skipper go to Jethro’s graduation and Skipper takes Jethro’s place in marching. Theodore Switzer, the man Mrs. Potts is trying to hide Jethro from, sees the chimp and is impressed that this creature could even make those grades. He decides to double the money he was planning to donate to the school.
Season 3, Episode 1 Aired: 9/23/1964 Jed Becomes A Movie Mogul Drysdale buys a movie studio, Mammoth Pictures, for Jed, Jane tells them, and the Clampetts decide to go check out their new property. At first they can’t get in, but they finally succeed. They meet Lawrence Chaplin, the head of Mammoth Pictures, who refers to Jed as a Zucker and a Roach, and Jed admires him for saying it to his face. They also meet a huge English star, Sir Trevor Gielgud Burton Guiness, dressed as Dr, Jeckyll, and believe that’s what he looks like. Chaplin tries to impress Jed and his clan by showing him a new picture and putting Elly in movies. She doesn’t do well and scares Sir Trevor out.
Season 3, Episode 2 Aired: 9/30/1964 Clampett City Because Mammoth Pictures is losing money, Drysdale decides to tear down the studio and turn it into Clampett City. The Clampetts are excited about getting a town and streets named after them, and when they go to explore their town, they come to a Western set, which they fall in love with. They move into it and live the way they did back home. The Clampetts are happy in their new location, but Drysdale is not because he really wants to tear down the studios and gain a profit.
Season 3, Episode 3 Aired: 10/7/1964 Clampett City General Store The Clampetts move into the Western street on their movie studio, and Drysdale tries to stop Jed from moving in. He gets the Clampetts a role in a new picture about Cleopatra and Nero, with Jethro as Caesar, Elly as a martyr who gets thrown to the lions, and Granny as Cleopatra. Though, Elly makes friends with the lion and Granny gets Nero drunk on elderberry wine. The family heads back to their store, but Granny, Jed, and Jethro get scared off after seeing the lion Elly brought back from the scene she was shooting.
Season 3, Episode 4 Aired: 10/14/1964 Hedda Hopper's Hollywood Mammoth Pictures is in danger of getting torn down, but Hedda Hopper wants to save it. She shows Jed the legacy of the stars of the studio, who all stuck their handprints in cement for the Walk Of Fame. After a misunderstanding, he works to fill the prints with wet cement. When they are stopped from doing that, they decide to make a picture of their own. They film on the Western street and end up making a silent movie starring the Clampetts and Drysdale and Jane. After Hopper sees the picture, she rushes out of the theatre – to tear down the studio herself.
Season 3, Episode 5 Aired: 10/21/1964 Doctor Jed Clampett Jed gets an honorary doctorate when he donates money to a college, and the family thinks he is now a legit doctor. However, Granny isn’t pleased with hearing that Jed is now a real college doctor and she isn’t because she didn’t go to college. Granny does her best to get a degree herself, but doesn’t find much success. When a busload of tourists comes by, a woman brings her daughter to see Jed, because she knows he owns a movie studio. She asks is she can bring others over, and when they arrive the Clampetts think they are patients in need of treatment. The family, especially Granny, who wants to help and has gotten over the certificate Jed got, does their best to cure them. In the end, Jed gives the degree back because it is too much stress curing those Hollywood folks.
Season 3, Episode 6 Aired: 10/28/1964 Jed the Heartbreaker Mrs. Drysdale is tired of the Clampetts, especially Granny, who keeps scraping with her. When Miss Jane tells her of a beautiful movie starlet who threw herself at Jed and how Jed stopped going to his movie studio when he found out she was married, she plans a scheme herself. Mrs. Drysdale decides to throw herself at Jed to get him and his family to move away from Beverly Hills. At first, he thinks she is just trying to say she is fat and can’t handle it. But she finally gets her message out. When Jed tells Jane what Mrs. Drysdale is doing, she lets him in on the trick that is being played on him. As the Clampetts pack to leave, Jed makes Mrs. Drysdale believe that she is expected to come with him and get married. When she hears this, she runs home and the Clampetts stay.
Season 3, Episode 7 Aired: 11/4/1964 Back to Marineland Jethro wants to serve his country as a 007 spy. When he is dissuaded from this, he has to decide what branch of the military to join. Granny gets his to join the Marines because she still wants to catch the whale she saw a year ago. The Clampetts head to Marine Land, where Jethro is given a job of feeding the fish, though he thinks he is now enrolled, and Granny tries to catch the biggest fish she’s ever seen. She lassoes the fish and gets pulled in the water, and Elly swims with a few porpoises. After their visit, the Clampetts head home, with no sea critters for pets or dinner, and Jethro is not in any service or job.
Season 3, Episode 8 Aired: 11/11/1964 Teenage Idol Rock n' roll singing idol Johnny Poke visits the Clampetts while in town to play the Hollywood Bowl. Granny's not too happy about it; she's worried Jethro will pick up his bad habits. Granny loses her temper and thinks she turned Jethro into a puppy when she says he needs to be taught a lesson. The Clampetts don’t know Johnny is now a superstar, still thinking he is a bum. When they meet at the train station, where the idol is in disguise in old clothes to hide from teenage fans, Johnny tries to explain himself, but Jed and Jethro don’t believe him from the way he’s dressed; plus, what he’s saying doesn’t really make sense. They return to the house, and Granny sees Jethro in human form and is happy. Jed isn’t happy with Johnny, who is making a play at Elly, and Granny is trying to mend her ways. But after she hears him talk, she says he should be cursed. He sneaks out when a skunk comes in, and the skunk goes to where Johnny was. Granny thinks she’s turned another person into an animal.
Season 3, Episode 9 Aired: 11/18/1964 The Widow Poke Arrives Granny flies the Widow Poke out to Beverly Hills to match-make him up with Jed. So she figures she can trick Jed into marriage, though Jed finds out what is going on. However, Jed doesn’t want to marry her, and it turns out that Emma doesn’t want to marry him. The two decide to upset Granny, who has called them a young couple. So Jed and Emma pose as just that. After taking a drive, they come back looking and talking like surfers. Granny gives up the matchmaking because the two are acting like big nuts.
Season 3, Episode 10 Aired: 11/25/1964 The Ballet Mrs. Drysdale gets Jed to back the Beverly Hills Ballet Company, and Jed figures that ballet is the perfect way to keep Granny, who is tired of getting “butler sassed,” among other things, in Beverly Hills. Jed gets her interested in the dance just as Mrs. Drysdale gets money she needs to save the Ballet Company.
Season 3, Episode 11 Aired: 12/9/1964 The Boarder Granny is having one of dreams fulfilled – she is managing her own boarding house. The Clampetts put out signs welcoming any incoming boarders and advertising what they offer. But when Drysdale and Jane drive up to the mansion, they see all the signs and take down most of them. This is also the same day that Mrs. Drysdale’s new butler Arthur Pinckney comes. He sees the remaining signs, which all are ”Welcome” signs, and figures this is the Drysdale home. He sees the Clampetts and thinks they are servants, and attempts to mold them into the perfect staff. Though, he has no luck. When Jane and Drysdale find out what is going on, they decide to let Pinckney remain with the Clampetts to mold them into society people.
Season 3, Episode 12 Aired: 12/16/1964 The Boarder Stays Pinckney finds no success with molding the Clampetts into high society people. He runs out, planning to return to England. He tells Jane and Drysdale what all occurred at the mansion. Meanwhile, the Clampetts are mad that their boarder ran out on them. They decide to keep the boarding house open, but change a few things – pay up front. When Pinckney arrives, the Clampetts hold a trial for his skipping out before paying. Jane says that Pinckney is guilty. For his punishment, he works as a butler and a servant for the clan.
Season 3, Episode 13 Aired: 12/30/1964 Start the New Year Right When the Clampetts learn that Mrs. Drysdale is in the hospital, they decide to visit her to make sure she is getting cured. Little do they know, she is doing this in spite of her husband, and won’t leave the hospital until the Clampetts leave Beverly Hills. They visit her, not knowing she is sleeping in a dark, gloomy room for a reason. They try to make it more cheerful for when she wakes up, even moving the bed so it faces the window. Jethro plays with the buttons on the bed, causing the bed to rise and tilt, throwing Mrs. Drysdale out the window. The hospital staff thinks she is trying to escape. The Clampetts visit two more times, and each time Jethro messes with the buttons, causing their neighbor to fly out the window. The last time they see this, and they take Mrs. Drysdale home with them.
Season 3, Episode 14 Aired: 1/6/1965 Clampett General Hospital Mrs. Drysdale wakes up to find she is no longer in the hospital but in her one hell – the Clampett mansion. After hearing she’s missing, her husband wants to sue the hospital. But when Jed and Jethro visit to return the mattress Mrs. Drysdale was on when they brought her home, the mystery of what happened is solved. Jane and Dr. Sanders visit the mansion to get the patient out. But Mrs. Drysdale has had a helping of Granny’s nerve tonic, and now she is floating around, calling herself “Tinkerbelle.” She returns to the hospital, and the Clampetts head to the hospital, where Drysdale has also tested the bed his wife was in, got thrown out the window, and hospitalized. The clan breaks their neighbors out, and Granny gives them each some “nerve quietener.” They head back to the mansion, and Jane and Dr. Sanders visit to see what is going on. And at the end, they see the Drysdales running loose in the front yard.
Season 3, Episode 15 Aired: 1/13/1965 The Movie Starlet Jethro falls for a movie starlet, Kitty Devine, who is not interested in him. But when she discovers that his uncle owns the studio and could get her better roles than beach babes in surfer movies, she takes interest. When she arrives at the mansion, she does her best to get Jed to notice her and tries to convince him she is capable of roles for a “woman,” that could make her a star. Jed misunderstands this, thinking they don't realize she's a woman, and ends up getting chased by Kitty, trying to prove to him she is capable of mature roles. Meanwhile, Elly is getting an offer to be in movies at the studio and asks Jed if it is okay. He gives her permission because the men at his studio don’t seem to know a woman when they see one.
Season 3, Episode 16 Aired: 1/20/1965 Elly in the Movies Elly gets a job at Jed’s movie studio, though Granny and Jane are against it. Both are worried about Elly getting involved in the Hollywood scene. Both have heard stories from a girl who works in a flower mill. Elly gets there and meets actor Dash Riprock. He goes for her straight off, but is unaware that this is the girl he will be starring with, having been told he’ll be opposite the studio owner’s daughter, Miss Clampett. When he goes to visit Miss Clampett in her dressing room, Jane answers, and he thinks that this is Elly May Clampett. After seeing her, he tries to get out of starring with this woman. But he has to romance Elly, and ends up hitting on Miss Jane. Season 3, Episode 17 Aired: 1/27/1965 Dash Riprock, You Cad Elly is disappointed about losing Dash to Miss Jane, so Jed and Drysdale try to fix everything. And Granny is trying to figure out why Dash is going for the plain Miss Jane instead of her gorgeous granddaughter. Another actor, Biff Steel, is set up for Elly, but once again, sees Miss Jane and figures she is Miss Clampett. Jed starts figuring that the Hollywood actors want to be prettier than their girl, and he decides to “ugly Elly up.” The studio sends the remaining young, handsome actors for Elly, and they go to her, with her new look. After seeing the Hollywood actors take to the plain Elly, Granny sees that she now has thrown seventy-five years of matchmaking down the drain.
Season 3, Episode 18 Aired: 2/3/1965 Clampett A-Go-Go After seeing Elly May in a bathing suit, hippie Sheldon Epps crashes his car. When the Clampetts see this, they take him inside their house to get better. He is healthy, but sticks around for Elly, driving Dash Riprock off. And the clan thinks he is sick because of the way he talks. But Epps improves, and even finds help with his art – Jethro. After Jethro messes up his painting, he finally is able to sell his work.
Season 3, Episode 19 Aired: 2/17/1965 Granny's Romance Drysdale sets Granny up with an older man on the Board of Directors, a playboy who dates young, attractive women. Mr. Cavanaugh meets Granny and is not too pleased with what he sees, wishing for a younger, more attractive lady. And Cavanaugh’s original date for the night, who is described as his "dear, sweet old aunt" is set up with Jed. Of course, this “Aunt Phyllis” is no older woman; she's a young, glamorous girl. At first, she has doubts about the night and is not enjoying herself at dinner. But once she learns Jed is a multi-millionaire, she warms up to him, and she and Jed dance the rest of the night away. Granny’s date doesn’t end that well, however, because her date gets tired out.
Season 3, Episode 20 Aired: 2/24/1965 Jed's Temptation It is the day after Jed spent the night dancing with Phyllis, and he is stiff from all the dancing. Granny is throwing her “I told you so”’s at him. And when Phyllis invites him to the horse races, he accepts. When Drysdale and Jane learn of the type of woman she is, they warn Granny and drive her down to the racetrack to stop them. Meanwhile, at the racetrack, Jed and Phyllis are finding great success, because Jed can tell which horse will win. Granny gets there, but Jed and Phyllis leave before she can break them up. She gives money to Fred, who has been losing the races, to buy food, since she misunderstands him, and he bets on the horses, and wins. So Granny stays with him and they bet on the remaining races. Later that night, Jed and Phyllis plan to go out to dinner, and Jed is hanging around so Granny can have the pleasure of being right. Granny comes home depressed and goes straight upstairs. She won money on the fifth, sixth, and seventh races, but lost it all on the eighth.
Season 3, Episode 21 Aired: 3/3/1965 Double Naught Jethro Jethro decides to give up his dream of being a brain surgeon to become a “double naught spy,” like James Bond. So he does all he can to become one. Meanwhile, The Banker’s Convention is going on, including the beauty contestant for Most Beautiful Bank Employee, and Drysdale could lose because of Mr. Cushing’s contestant. He has no luck with finding a woman in the secretarial pool, and the beautiful Janet Trego has broken her leg. But when Jethro brings her to the bank for her to stay there, Elly ends up being the contestant for the beauty contestant, being given a job to qualify. And Jethro gets money for his spy car and spy equipment and goes to spy on the Merchant’s Bank. Though, he ends up spilling everything about Elly getting a job just to enter the contest. The Merchant’s Bank’s beauty contestant goes with Jethro to talk with Jed about opening an account, and Jethro gets in trouble for doing more “spying” than chores and causing Granny to fly into a tree.
Season 3, Episode 22 Aired: 3/10/1965 Clampett's Millions Jethro is still working on being a 007 spy, though it is annoying Granny. And Elly has been crowned Queen Of The Bankers Ball. Mr. Cushing is not happy about this though; he wanted his contestant to win. Since Jethro is having more fun at Cushing’s bank, he tries to get Jed to transfer his money to the Merchant’s Bank. Cushing sees this opportunity and tries to get that gorgeous Clampett account. Granny decides to put her share of the money in Mr. Cushing’s bank. Drysdale doesn’t want to give up the money, and Jed asks to see it. After Drysdale says he can’t give eleven million in cash, the clan believes he doesn’t have the money and spent it. They decide to transfer funds to the Merchants bank. When they go to visit the Merchant’s Bank, the Clampetts ask to see their 45 million. When they see he doesn’t have it, they put it back in Drysdale bank.
Season 3, Episode 23 Aired: 3/17/1965 Drysdale's Dog Days Granny demands to see her money in cash, and Drysdale tries to talk her out of it. He fails and upsets the Clampetts by accidentally throwing magazines at them, really throwing them at his wife and her dog. He tries to make things better by showing Granny what a million dollars looks like to turn her off from the idea, but ends up throwing more stuff at her. This upsets her, and she keeps the million and demands the rest that is hers. At the same time, it is time for Beverly Hill's Dog Show and Mrs. Drysdale plans to enter Claude, who is sick. To make up with Granny, Jane and Drysdale try to get Granny to make Claude healthy, and succeed. But when Elly sees that Claude won't win the dog show because he can't do tricks, the Clampetts replace little Arnie with Claude at the show. It's a shock, especially for Mrs. Drysdale, who faints when she sees this.
Season 3, Episode 24 Aired: 3/24/1965 Brewster's Honeymoon The Clampett money keeps rolling in as more oil is discovered on their land. And Mr. Brewster is coming out to marry his fiancée Edythe. Granny is planning to go back home to the hills, but Jed decides to put up the cabin they put up for Granny’s birthday. The Clampetts learn of Mr. Brewster’s engagement and decide to give them a honeymoon. They put the Brewster’s up in the cabin for their wedding night because it is such a sweet and simple honeymoon. It is quite the surprise, and they end up spending a horrid night there. They try to escape, but have no luck and fall into the pool. The Clampetts think they are crazy about swimming. They decide to go to bed and let the Brewster spend their honeymoon the way they want to.
Season 3, Episode 25 Aired: 3/31/1965 Flatt, Clampett, and Scruggs Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampett and solve the problems they are having at the mansion. They cure Jethro’s hunger by making him biscuits and red-eye gravy, and after Jed and Jane’s failed attempts, the duo cures Granny’s homesickness by letting her perform on stage with them. Though, she performs dressed more like a nightclub singer instead of a sweet little mountain lady.
Season 3, Episode 26 Aired: 4/14/1965 Jed and the Countess It is time for Spring Tonic, and the Countess Maria returns to meet with her good friends the Clampetts, as well as get some tonic. And after the Clampetts learn Maria is single again, having literally lost her husband at a party, Granny sees this as the time for Jed to make his move on the Countess. Jed doesn’t make a move, until Jethro is employed as the Countess’ new chauffeur, replacing ex-husband and chauffeur Humphrey, causing the Clampetts to think Jethro and Maria shall wed. But Jed never gets his chance, since Humphrey returns to get his bride back.
Season 3, Episode 27 Aired: 4/21/1965 Big Daddy, Jed Beatnik Sheldon Epps returns with his friends from the Parthenon West Coffee House, asking Jed for money so they can keep their hangout. Drysdale is hoping to close the place down. But his plans fail when Jed befriends the hippies and supports them, providing music and lights.
Season 3, Episode 28 Aired: 4/28/1965 Cool School is Out Elly and Jethro join the beatniks at the Parthenon West, and Granny tries to get them out. But her attempts fail, and she becomes a beatnik herself, after inventing “The Tater Digger,” a new dance. Jed is all for the young ones expressing themselves, but once he sees Granny dressed the way she is and acting the way she is, he changes his mind. He goes down to the coffee shop and convinces Sheldon and the others to change their image, with the help of some desperately needed lettuce. They all transform themselves from cool beatniks in a bohemian coffee shop to squares in a boring restaurant dancing the waltz, and Granny and Jethro decide to split once they see the change, making the plan a success.
Season 3, Episode 29 Aired: 5/5/1965 The Big Bank Battle Drysdale tries to get the Clampetts interested in a hobby to occupy their time and to stop Jed from traveling around the neighborhood with a fix-it wagon. He shows Jed all types of hobbies, like collecting stamps and building a boat in a bottle. Jethro gets a hobby with these offers, getting the boat out of the bottle. The boat in the bottle belonged to Cushing at the Merchant’s Bank, and Jed brings it back to Cushing, who offers him a job to occupy his time. Drysdale learns of this and tries to get Jed away from the rival bank. But Cushing and Drysdale get into a fight over Jed, and to stop the two friends from fighting, he decides to not take a job from either. But the family finds something else to keep them busy – they create a family fix-it service on the truck, making Drysdale sick.
Season 3, Episode 30 Aired: 5/12/1965 The Clampetts Versus Automation The Clampetts are tired of their neighbors who mean mouth them and don’t appreciate them. They decide to go back to the hills. And at the bank, a computer is replacing Leroy Lester, an accountant. But this accountant believes he can still keep his job. Instead, Drysdale tells him he can balance his wife’s checkbook. On his way to do so, his car stops in the Drysdales’ driveway, and Jethro brings him to the mansion. The Clampetts take him in. But Drysdale believes he ran away with a fortune. He tries to find him to turn him in, though his theory is proven false. He learns the truth about Lester, and that the computer blew up. Now Drysdale wants this accountant back. Things finally improve for the once unappreciated Leroy. He stays with the Clampetts, his new friends, in the end. Leroy finally gets a much-deserved vacation. And Drysdale gets himself a substitute accountant for Leroy’s time off – Jethro.
Season 3, Episode 31 Aired: 5/26/1965 Luke's Boy Luke Short's boy Beau comes to town, and Granny has him set up with Elly. But Elly wants no part of this and tries to turn him off, first as a Hollywood siren, then as a scrubwoman. When this doesn't work, Jane convinces Beau and Jethro they should become international playboys and belong to all women. This upsets Granny when she finds out Beau jilted her granddaughter, and wants him back. But in the end, Jed learns that Beau didn't come to marry Elly, but to enlist in the army. And he leaves to serve his country, not to marry the lovely Elly May.
Season 3, Episode 32 Aired: 6/2/1965 The Brewsters Return The Brewsters come to Beverly Hills to build their new home on a vacant lot they purchased, and they request the Clampetts don't learn of this. But the Clampetts are planning to move back home to the Hills. When they tell Drysdale, he reveals the secret. Drysdale tells Brewster what he has done, but explains it was to save the Clampett oil account, and because of this, he has to visit the Clampetts. The Brewsters end up visiting the hillbillies and enduring farm chores. But Jane comes to tell the Clampetts they came to build their dream house. The next day when the Brewsters and Drysdale go to see their lot, they see the cabin put up instead.
Season 3, Episode 33 Aired: 6/9/1965 Jed, the Bachelor Granny is tired of Beverly Hills and heads home for the Hills. But she never makes it back home and ends up in Las Vegas. And Jethro is having no luck being an international playboy and ends up getting arrested. Granny comes back that night, but with a story to tell about Vegas the next day. And things brighten up for Jethro too because he gets a job at the bank with lots of pretty secretaries. Though, he ends up getting arrested again. And Granny takes her wheelbarrow to leave Beverly Hills, but only to return back to Las Vegas to teach the people playing slot machines how to play checkers.
Season 3, Episode 34 Aired: 6/16/1965 The Art Center Mrs. Drysdale has a new plan to get rid of the Clampetts and add culture to Beverly Hills. She gets the Clampetts to donate their home as an art gallery. Of course, they misunderstand this and think they have to provide the art. They go on and sculpt and paint up a storm for this new art center and end up filling their mansion with their homemade creations.
Season 4, Episode 1 Aired: 9/15/1965 Admiral Jed Clampett Drysdale has hopes that Jed will buy a yacht and join the yacht club with him. The Clampetts are all ready to go, except for Granny who has been listening to Jethro and is now afraid of drowning and sharks. Jethro is sent away so Granny doesn’t worry anymore and ends up getting Jed an Admiral’s uniform from his movie studio. They head down to the pier, but get lost and mistake a Navy vessel for a yacht. The crew aboard this boat believes Jed is a first class admiral and tries to impressive him. Jed thinks they are trying to sell it to him. In the end, he decides to pass the boat, and the crew is happy because they have passed inspection, though Jed is confused because they just lost a sale.
Season 4, Episode 2 Aired: 9/22/1965 That Old Black Magic Granny believes that Mrs. Drysdale has turned herself into a bird after she said a few Zodiacal words, which Granny believes is black magic. She tries to change her back to normal. Meanwhile, Jed and Elly try to get the real Mrs. Drysdale cured after the vet Granny called calls about the sick bird. Mrs. Drysdale thinks she is following correct advice, but in the end realizes she read the wrong day in her astrology book and that today would be unlucky. She mean mouths Granny and rushes home, but Granny is happy that her neighbor is back to normal.
Season 4, Episode 3 Aired: 9/29/1965 The Sheik After entering an oil deal with Jed and O.K. Oil, the Sheik befriends the Clampetts, giving Jed four of his dancing girls for wives and tries to get the beautiful Elly May as one of his wives. Jed tries to give the girls back, while Jethro tries to enjoy some of the Sheik's life, mainly the company of his beautiful dancing girls, after selling his cousin. But the Sheik learns what Elly May is like, and she returns after beating the Sheik up. He leaves with his dancing girls, and Granny and Jed see the Royal Camel, which was left behind after being payment for Elly, thinking this creature just a sad and pitiful looking horse.
Season 4, Episode 4 Aired: 10/6/1965 The Private Eye Jethro continues his fantasy of being a “double naught spy” by getting an office at the bank. When two bank robbers come, who have been waiting for that office which is above the vault, they make Jethro believe they are from London headquarters. K and J give Jethro a series of “spy tests,” all of which he is unsuccessful at. He plasters over his secret camera, sharpens his microphone pencil, and puts in his tear gas squirter backwards in his spy coat. After K and J tell him he needs an escape hatch, he switches offices with Elly and puts the escape in there. But when he busts through the floor and tells Drysdale what is going on, they contact the police. In the end, Barker is caught, though Jethro is not happy. It will take ten years for him to get out, and Jethro doesn’t want to wait that long to be a spy.
Season 4, Episode 5 Aired: 10/13/1965 Possum Day Drysdale tries to keep the Clampetts in Beverly Hills by telling them there would a Possum Day there. So Granny decides to run for Possum Queen in Beverly Hills, and Drysdale convinces her that she is running against Mrs. Drysdale. Meanwhile, Drysdale is desperate to actually get a Possum Day to happen for the Clampetts and starts traveling around for this to happen.
Season 4, Episode 6 Aired: 10/20/1965 The Possum Day Parade Granny is preparing for her Possum Queen campaign, and also wondering why Mrs. Drysdale hasn’t fought back yet. When Jed asks Drysdale about this, he starts her campaign with a false radio interview and continues to try to get a Possum festival to go on. Granny continues with her campaign, and Mrs. Drysdale realizes that she has been campaigning without even knowing. Drysdale returns on Possum Day after being turned down by every city and town he went to, even Death Valley. He goes up to the Clampett mansion to tell them, but Granny reveals she is withdrawing from the race to let Mrs. Drysdale win the title. When he learns Granny’s truth, he doesn’t tell them that he couldn’t organize it and adds more lies. When he leaves, Granny plans for next year and celebrates this Possum Day with the help of her jug.
Season 4, Episode 7 Aired: 10/27/1965 The Clampetts Play the Rams Jethro gets a date with the Drydales’ new maid Linda, but she is only interested in the fact that he has a color television set. Instead of paying attention to Jethro, she watches a football game the first night and an ice hockey game the next. Jethro attempts trying out the games, but isn’t very successful at football and doesn’t like the hockey gear. Jed tells Jethro to think about what football players and hockey players have in common, and he says commercials. So for his next date with Linda, Jethro does what players from both teams do, he shaves, and that, not to mention Drysdale’s promise of a color television set, impresses Linda.
Season 4, Episode 8 Aired: 11/3/1965 The Courtship of Elly Granny tries to conjure a man for Elly May, but accidentally attracts Miss Jane's man, who is actually a hired escort Mr. Drysdale got for Elly. When the Clampetts find out, they work to get rid of him so Miss Jane can have her man back.
Season 4, Episode 9 Aired: 11/10/1965 A Real Nice Neighbor The Clampetts get a new next-door neighbor, and when Aggie, the maid of Mrs. Phillip Brentwood Carrington III, drops by to the use the phone, they think this is she. This is the first rich neighbor who has proven to be kind and considerate. Drysdale is happy because this rich woman has moved next door and might be a wife for Jed. Granny also sees her as a match for Jed. The two try to set Jed and Aggie up in different ways. When Aggie says she isn’t interested, Granny gives her some rheumatism medicine to loosen her up. But she gets drunk, and Granny tries to sober her up. While under the influence, she dances and flirts with Drysdale, who is trying to get Jed to court her. But when the chauffeur comes to pick the Aggie up, Drysdale learns this woman is not a millionaire. But Aggie thinks she is now with Drysdale, and Granny and Jed realize they’ll have to break the news to his wife.
Season 4, Episode 10 Aired: 11/17/1965 The Poor Farmer Drysdale organizes a financial syndicate, which includes a billionaire who he wants in his bank. Jed is one of the potential members of this group, but never makes the meeting because a new invention of Jethro’s, a chemical that turns water into gasoline, doesn’t work. When Jed finally arrives, it is too late, and Mr. Sebastian has left. Jane suggests that he visits him at his health club. But when Jed gets there, he sees him getting roughly massaged, pounded on, and worked over. Sebastian is dieting and trying to lose weight, but Jed thinks that Sebastian is a poor farmer and wants to help him, but Sebastian turns him down. He even offers Sebastian donuts at dinner later that night, but the billionaire continues to refuse the gifts. Jed says he’s never seen a prouder man.
Season 4, Episode 11 Aired: 11/24/1965 Hoe Down a-Go-Go Jethro is having trouble meeting girls and asks Jed for advice. He gives him advice, but learns from Granny’s advice for Elly it won’t work. When Jed and Granny see that Jethro and Elly need to meet some young women and men, they decide to throw a wingding. Jane is put in charge of getting a band and ends up hiring The Enemys. They arrive to the party with a bunch of kids from the Whisky-A-Go-Go Club Jane and Jethro visited, and the wingding ends up going rock n’ roll.
Season 4, Episode 12 Aired: 12/1/1965 Mrs. Drysdale's Father Mrs. Drysdale's father comes to Beverly Hills to visit. When he learns of the Clampetts, he decides he wants to meet them. He visits and ends up playing poker and pool with Jed. But Farquhar loses all his money because his tricks backfire and the Clampetts are better at the games then he could even imagine. In the end, Jed suggests they give up the gambling and just play a friendly game of pool.
Season 4, Episode 13 Aired: 12/8/1965 Mr. Farquhar Stays On Granny has taken interest in Mrs. Drysdale’s father, Mr. Farquhar. And Farquhar is trying to get someone to go to Las Vegas with him, first asking Drysdale, who turns him down. He asks Granny to accompany him, and Granny believes this is a marriage proposal. Farquhar tells Drysdale about this, who is against it, and Drysdale tells Jed, who is all for it. Granny is enjoying herself for once, which Jed thinks is a great thing. But Granny changes her mind. She realizes she’s been acting like a schoolgirl. She tells Farquhar she can’t go to Vegas with him, and he reveals he wants to go for gambling. Granny doesn’t tell Jed the exact truth, but mentions how desperate he is to get to Vegas. Before Farquhar leaves, he asks Jed, who turns him down. Farquhar leaves, hoping to find someone, and Jed sees how desperate he really is.
Season 4, Episode 14 Aired: 12/15/1965 Military School Jethro finally decides on his life’s calling again. He decides on being a five-star General. Jethro is hoping to attend West Point, but Drysdale talks him into going to Haven Hurst. He’d never actually get into West Point and has a better chance of becoming a general in Haven Hurst. Granny is against him joining because he might get hurt, and Drysdale is having trouble getting him in because this military academy is for boys. But once the Colonel learns Jethro lives where he does, he is accepted because they’d win the “war” against the red army from another military academy. Jethro passes out ammo for the troops, and they get the red army on the run, to Jed and Granny's surprise, because these are just little boys fighting a war.
Season 4, Episode 15 Aired: 12/29/1965 The Common Cold Granny is looking to cure people and learns of Mr. Drysdale’s illness. He has a common cold. Granny says that she has the ability to cure it with one spoonful of “Cold Cure.” She makes her cold cure to share with Dr. Clyburn, but he turns her down and mean-mouths her. So she decides to start her own doctor’s office and use her own cold cure to treat folks. She shares it with a medicine distributor and Miss Jane, and in the end they learn that Granny’s cure is the same as the city doctor’s is; it still takes a week to ten days to get better.
Season 4, Episode 16 Aired: 1/5/1966 The Richest Woman The world’s richest women, Tracy Richards, sees the Clampett estate and wants to fix it up and buy it. She learns that the house is not for sale, but is determined to buy it. She gets in good with Granny, Elly, and Jethro by treating them to the good city life and giving them some of her expensive possessions. Jed can see through her act, but the others refuse to believe it, and Drysdale is trying to get her account, keep Jed’s account, and keep everyone happy and himself wealthy. Tracy tries to get Jed to sell by getting romantic with him, but it backfires. The Clampetts end up staying in their mansion, which an unhappy Miss Richards never does acquire.
Season 4, Episode 17 Aired: 1/12/1966 The Trotting Horse Granny needs to get around Beverly Hills and is having no luck with a driving lesson. When she hears that the Drysdale are looking at the horses, Granny decides she needs a trotter and buggy. Drysdale learns that the Clampetts want a horse, and after he learns of its potential winnings, the Clampetts acquire Ladybelle, a racehorse. Granny thinks this is a trotter she can take to the grocery store. She rides her, but learns that this horse is not much of a trotter. After the Clampetts are told they have acquired a racehorse, Granny decides to put her horse to use and enters the horse race. Ladybelle finishes first, but is disqualified because she didn’t start when the other racers did.
Season 4, Episode 18 Aired: 1/19/1966 The Buggy Granny gets a buggy for her horse Ladybelle and gets the same thing for Mrs. Drysdale so they can have buggy races. But the horse she buys for her neighbor is known around the stables as "Old Gluepot." She tries to cheat to win, but ends up with Lightening, the poor horse, after Jed tries to teach her a lesson. Little do the Clampetts know, Mrs. Drysdale made a deal with her husband that the only way she would participate in the race is if the Clampetts leave Beverly Hills if she wins. Luckily, by feeding her horse straw and moonshine, Granny and Lightening win the race, running straight out of the buggy.
Season 4, Episode 19 Aired: 1/26/1966 The Cat Burglar The city of Beverly Hills is on alert because a cat burglar is on the loose. Elly is worried that this person will steal her cats and kittens, since he is a "cat" burglar. And Jane and Drysdale are worried that the Clampetts will get robbed, since they are prime targets. The cat burglar shows up at the Clampett mansion, posing as a detective, to check the place out. Elly shows him the traps she has set. Mike and Bernie, the burglars, decide the caper here will be easy. Drysdale decides to stay with the Clampetts to be safe and sends Miss Jane to watch his house. That night, Jed and Granny run downstairs and see Mike, trying to break the safe which they believe is a radio he is trying to fix, Elly catches Bernie, and Miss Jane is caught by Jethro. But everyone learns that Mike isn't a detective Miss Jane hired after Mike takes Bernie away, but the two thieves end up getting caught in Elly’s trap.
Season 4, Episode 20 Aired: 2/2/1966 The Big Chicken After Granny mistakes an ostrich that Drysdale owns for a giant chicken, which she believes she caused to grow to a huge size with her "growing tonic," made for her tomatoes, she tries to shrink it down to size and keep it a secret from anyone who could find out. She never does succeed in shrinking it back down to normal, so in the end Granny decides to enter this giant bird in the county fair because a creature of this size will definitely win a blue ribbon.
Season 4, Episode 21 Aired: 2/9/1966 Sonny Drysdale Returns Granny predicts that Elly will get married, but Jed doesn’t believe her. However, when Jethro tells them Sonny Drysdale is returning, Granny believes that this will be Jed’s future son-in-law. Drysdale believes the same thing, and has Sonny and Elly set up to be married. Drysdale makes Sonny get a job, selling beauty products door-to-door. When he stops at the Clampett mansion, he shows the products to Elly May, and tells her he wants her to have a few of the boxes, totally to nearly one thousand dollars. Drysdale is proud when he learns his son-in-law made such a sale, but when he learns who he sold it to, he make Sonny propose to Elly. That night, Sonny proposes to Elly, who turns him down, causing Sonny to run to his mother.
Season 4, Episode 22 Aired: 2/16/1966 Brewster's Baby After Drysdale stops the clan from going back home to deliver a baby, the Clampetts try to help the Brewsters with their baby, while Jethro unsuccessfully tries to open his own version of the Kitty Kat Club. Of course, the Brewsters don't need the help because they are adopting, though after hearing the explanation given, the Clampetts believe they really need help and advice. But the clan learns that in Beverly Hills more is possible when the Brewsters return with a baby boy in their basket.
Season 4, Episode 23 Aired: 2/23/1966 The Great Jethro Jed and Granny decide Jethro needs a job. They send him down to the bank to try to get work. While he is there, he runs into a magician, Marvo, the Magnificent. After Marvo learns of his uncle’s many, many millions, he agrees to go home with Jethro. Marvo puts on a show for the Clampetts, and afterwards, Jethro decides to become a magician. He gets Jed to buy all of Marvo’s magic items and puts on his own show. Of course, Jethro can’t quite grasp the tricks of the trade and ends up going back to what he was doing before.
Season 4, Episode 24 Aired: 3/2/1966 The Old Folks Home It is Spring Cleaning time, and Granny is trying to clean the mansion from top to bottom. Jed wants to stop her from doing this and thinks the way to do this is to get Granny out of Beverly Hills. He tells the family to make Granny think she is too tired and too old to work so hard, and Jethro and Elly lay it on a bit too heavy. But it works, and Granny does stop the cleaning. Drysdale and Jed try to solve the problem. Jed tells Granny they should get a place in the country, but Granny fears she will be sent to the old folks' home. Granny tires herself out after hearing that by cleaning the house in a small matter of time. Jane hires a new housekeeper, making Granny leave. She goes to the bank, and Drysdale gives her Jane’s job to keep Granny in Beverly Hills. But Granny isn't any help, so Drysdale gives her a promotion as "Vice President Of The Whole Building," and Granny orders everything out for Spring Cleaning.
Season 4, Episode 25 Aired: 3/16/1966 Flatt and Scruggs Return Lester Flatt, Earl Scruggs, and Gladys Flatt visit the Clampetts. Gladys is hoping for a career in singing, but all she gets is a country-cooking lesson. And Jane quits her job at the bank after Drysdale accuses her of joy riding, when in reality she was driving the Clampetts’ guests to the mansion and singing along with Flatt and Scruggs. But things improve in the end. Jane auditions for a career in folk singing, and Gladys finally gets her chance at a singing career as well.
Season 4, Episode 26 Aired: 3/23/1966 The Folk Singers After their careers don’t exactly work out well, Jethro, after unsuccessfully trying to launch himself into space, and Miss Jane, after quitting at the bank, decide to launch a career in folk music. But the two learn that what they actually had in mind isn't anywhere in their future and end up deciding to return to their original plans.
Season 4, Episode 27 Aired: 3/30/1966 The Beautiful Maid The Clampetts take in Ulla, a Swedish actress hoping to learn their ways of life for a movie, and a girl they think is a poor sharecropper's daughter.
Season 4, Episode 28 Aired: 4/6/1966 Jethro's Pad Jethro hires himself out cleaning Mr. Drysdale’s garage, and he discovers the magazine “Swinger,” a magazine for international playboys. After reading the magazine, he does all he can to become an international playboy. He gets a “portable playboy parlor” at the city dump and heads to the Kitty Kat Club to get some girls. He has no luck, but Drysdale arranges for two Kitty Kats to show up to Jethro, one being Miss Jane. After not having luck with that, Jethro heads to the beach, where he meets a girl. They go in Jethro’s pad, but later realize that they are floating. The girl leaves a happy Jethro, who realizes that he now has a yacht.
Season 4, Episode 29 Aired: 4/13/1966 The Bird Watchers Miss Jane’s bird watcher leader, Professor Biddle, comes to town to visit. And Jed and Granny are trying to get a man for Elly. After Elly shows up with Professor Biddle, Jed decides that fixing Elly May up with Dash Riprock couldn’t hurt. Drysdale blackmails Dash with a bad TV role to get Dash to ask Elly out. He doesn’t get to the Clampett mansion in enough time, and Jed has no luck with stopping Elly, so she ends up going with Professor Biddle, Miss Jane, and Jethro on their bird expedition. Elly plans a date with the Professor, and Dash demands her to break it. Biddle threatens Dash, and while Jane is explaining the condor to Jed, they hear Dash giving up. Elly has Dash in an arm lock and tells Dash she’ll go out with tomorrow.
Season 4, Episode 30 Aired: 4/20/1966 Jethro Gets Engaged Jethro gets a job as Dash Riprock’s double, thinking this will make him twice the actor that Dash is. Jethro also meets a girl who is using her to get to meet Jed for a screen test. However, Jethro, now going by “Beef Jerky,” learns that his new job isn’t all it is cracked up to be. He gets blown up and burned. When Dash finds out what Jethro got himself into, he tries to save Jethro. Jethro’s girl Debbie comes home with him, trying to get a screen test, but has no luck talking with Jed. All starts improving when Dash visits the Clampett mansion to get Debbie away from Jed before she gets her gold-digging hands in him, and Jethro gives up his new career.
Season 4, Episode 31 Aired: 4/27/1966 Granny Tonics a Birdwatcher It is Tonic Time, and Granny has made a small batch, which is enough for the family and a few friends. She also hopes that she can tonic a man for Elly May to marry. Though Elly may not have a husband in her future, Jane thinks she does. She thinks that Professor Biddle will propose to her, but he reveals all he wants her to do is hatch a condor egg. Granny heads to the bank to get Jane and Drysdale to give Dash Riprock some of her tonic. Jane realizes what this could do and gets Professor Biddle to drink a bottle of tonic. But Elly visits the bank, and a “toniced” Professor starts chasing her, following her home. Jane chases after him, trying to get her man back. Biddle does propose to Jane, and although she turns him down, they become the proud parents of a baby condor.
Season 4, Episode 32 Aired: 5/18/1966 Jethro Goes to College Jethro is trying to conjure up a girl with Granny's potions. Jed thinks that Jethro needs to get girls off of his mind, believing he should get more education. Drysdale tells Jethro he'll get a job at the bank if he gets a college degree. Jethro asks for college suggestions and decides to go search for himself. He ends up enrolling in a secretarial school, which is in desperate need of money. They accept him since he has a large amount of tuition cash. Though Jethro is a very unsuccessful student, and the head of the school decides to graduate him early. Elly graduates early from her school as well, the College of Judo and Karate, being awarded a black belt, though she didn’t have Jethro’s positive experience. Jethro gets to become the Vice President of Jed’s money, employing all the girls at the college he went to as help.
Season 5, Episode 1 Aired: 9/14/1966 The Party Line Granny and Jethro return to Elly and Jed, who has been suffering his daughter’s cooking for a while, from visiting Pearl back home. Granny returns with presents and a new device – a telephone. This phone goes into the wall and is used for party lines, not like their basic phones. For Granny, this phone is high tech. She gets Jethro to install it, but he installs wrong, connecting wires to a light pole instead of a telephone pole, electrocuting himself, causing it to blow up, and making Granny go temporarily deaf. Jed and Granny head to the bank and ask Drysdale to get them a party-line telephone. Drysdale demands it with the telephone company. And in return, the phone company takes away their phone and replaces it with an old fashioned switchboard full of tubes.
Season 5, Episode 2 Aired: 9/21/1966 The Soup Contest Granny enters Elly in a soup-making contest, with her own Snider Surprise Soup. When Jed finds out Granny cheated, he demands that she pull Elly May out of the contest. But Granny refuses to because this is a way to get Elly a husband. She tricks Jed into believing she got Elly out of the contest and gets him to go hunting, just in time. The men from Savory Soup visit the mansion and are amazed by the beautiful Elly, originally thinking she’d be a beetle. But once Granny tells Roger and Stafford that Elly isn’t twenty-one, they need her father to sign. Jane ends up posing as Jed, signing the papers. But Jed finds out what everyone has done, and Granny ends up doing the special, of course, not without having Elly show up in a swimsuit.
Season 5, Episode 3 Aired: 9/28/1966 Jethro Takes Love Lessons Dash Riprock gives Jethro advice on how to get a girl he really likes. Jethro follows it, but he doesn't have the talent with women Dash does. He has two dates with his girl Susie and both end terribly. Jethro ends up losing his girl, but gets what he really loves - food, three-dozen hamburgers to be exact.
Season 5, Episode 4 Aired: 10/5/1966 The Badger Game A young girl shows up at the Clampett mansion, claiming she is a friend from back home, Emaline Fetty. The Clampetts welcome her in their house. But it turns out that Emaline is working with someone to blackmail the Clampetts. She takes pictures of her and Jed in a compromising position. Colonel Foxhall, the man who is in control of the caper, and Emaline develop the photos and show them to Jane and Drysdale, who believe something else is going on. When they visit the mansion, Jethro is intent on marrying Emaline, chasing after her, as Drysdale is trying to prove Jed is innocent. The Colonel and Emaline show Jed the pictures, and Jed doesn’t fully understand what he is being accused of. But with the pictures, Jed says he will do the right thing, saying he’ll marry Emaline right away. After she hears that, Emaline decides to give up the caper and walks out.
Season 5, Episode 5 Aired: 10/12/1966 The Badgers Return Drysdale is intent on getting the Clampetts to identify Colonel Foxhall and Emaline Fetty as dangerous criminals. Emaline is in hiding, but visits Jethro, tricking him into helping her hide from the police. The Clampetts mistake the officer that brought Foxhall as a criminal, and Foxhall gets away from the man holding him and hides in the Clampett mansion. He flirts with Granny in the kitchen to get away. Emaline, meanwhile, dresses as a city woman, changes her name, and heads down to the bank, posing as an agent. She tricks Drysdale into compromising positions, taking pictures of it, in order to blackmail him. Foxhall visits the bank to show Drysdale the pictures, threatening him to pay, just as Jed visits. He tells Drysdale and Foxhall he and Granny stopped Emaline and if they don’t behave, they’ll be sent to jail, causing Emaline and Foxhall to give up the caper.
Season 5, Episode 6 Aired: 10/19/1966 The Gorilla Elly and Jethro both want a gorilla to help out around the house, so Jed asks Drysdale to get them one. Drysdale hires a man dressed as a gorilla to scare the Clampetts, but it fails. They put their new “gorilla,” Herby, to work doing chores and dress him in old clothes. Mr. Kelly, the man in the gorilla suit, wants out of the deal and gives his suit to Drysdale. Drysdale puts it on and runs out of the mansion. Jane follows him and they drive off. The Clampetts decide they want another gorilla, so they go to zoo and take one out.
Season 5, Episode 7 Aired: 10/26/1966 Come Back, Little Herby After the Clampetts don’t have success with the gorilla they took out of the zoo, they decide to get Herby back. They contact Drysdale who tells Mr. Kelly, but he refuses to do it. Mr. Kelly tells Drysdale he’ll return on his own terms and has Drysdale buy him designer clothes and expensive food. Herby returns to the mansion and starts living the life of luxury, dancing and dining with Elly by the pool. The Clampetts cannot stand seeing the gorilla living like this, so decide to buy Herby. Mr. Kelly and Drysdale plan on how to reject the offer, by having Drysdale wear the suit. Jed gives Mr. Kelly his offer, and when Mr. Kelly turns him down, Jed gives him a wad of cash. Mr. Kelly throws Herby at Jed and leaves, causing Drysdale to chase after him.
Season 5, Episode 8 Aired: 11/2/1966 Jed in Politics Granny is feuding with the Beverly Hills Smog Commission because they tell her she has to stop making her lye soap. Commissioner Tinsley visits the mansion, ordering Granny to quit her soap making, and when she sees him, she threatens him with her shotgun. Jed and Granny visit Drysdale’s office for some help, where Jane tells them they should try to defeat Tinsley on Election Day, and Jed mistakes this as being told to run. Drysdale and the clan are in favor of it. So Jed participates in the election, and Tinsley tries to get Jed to stop. Jethro tries to contribute to Jed’s campaign by inventing an anti-smog device, which Tinsley is very interested in. Tinsley says that if Jed gives him his device, Granny can continue to make soap. But Jethro's invention fails, making Tinsley lose his hope of anti-smog.
Season 5, Episode 9 Aired: 11/9/1966 Clampett Cha Cha Cha The Clampetts win free dance lessons from the Marvin and Marita Dance School. The Clampetts are excited, but don’t know that Marvin and Marita are out of work and have no school. After they start their dance lessons with the Clampetts, Marvin tries to reveal that they have no students or international headquarters, as they said. The Clampetts end up finding out that Marvin and Marita have fallen on hard times and decide to help out. Jed figures out a way to help Marvin and Marita after this, getting them a gig at the Bankers’ Convention, being joined by Jed and Drysdale, doing an impressive performance.
Season 5, Episode 10 Aired: 11/16/1966 Jed Joins the Board Jed, who took a job as a garbage man to do something to keep busy, gets a job at the O.K. Oil Company on the Board of Directors after Drysdale talks him into it. He decides to help the company get more oil and money. The clan brings oil from their backyard to donate more oil, and to make some profit for O.K. Oil, they start an airline with the O.K. plane, complete with Jethro as the pilot. But their attempts don't exactly help, though they do make one director happy.
Season 5, Episode 11 Aired: 11/23/1966 Granny Lives It Up The family is doing spring-cleaning when there is a knock on the door. John Cushing comes to take Granny out. When Drysdale finds out, he gets Mrs. Drysdale’s father, who was in Vegas and is sent to Beverly Hills with his “financial advisors” (Las Vegas showgirls), to also sweep Granny off her feet. Soon she is juggling both Mr. Farquhar and Mr. Cushing, trying to decide. But both men give up and head to Las Vegas with the two financial advisors, and Granny goes back to her spring-cleaning.
Season 5, Episode 12 Aired: 11/30/1966 The Gloria Swanson Story Jethro gets a job as a paperboy, and on the papers he delivers, the Clampetts see that one of their favorite silent movie stars, Gloria Swanson, is auctioning her belongings and selling her house. The clan thinks that she has fallen on hard times, and since they are huge fans, they decide to help. They visit her home and meet her. But what the Clampetts don’t know is that she wants to do this. Gloria is doing extremely well, only selling her home and belongings to donate the money to the Actors’ Relief Fund, while her home is part of a golf course deal, and she herself is moving back East. To help their idol out, the Clampetts decide to make a new silent movie with Gloria in it. Passion’s Plaything premieres at the Bijou Theatre in Bugtussle, where she is and forever will be the Queen of the Movies.
Season 5, Episode 13 Aired: 12/7/1966 The Woodchucks Jethro is desperate to meet a girl, planning to mail himself to Paris. However, Jed talks him out of it. When the Biddle Bird Watchers come to visit for a recruitment gathering, Granny suggests he tries to date one of those girls, but Jed knows that the female bird lovers aren’t exactly his type, attractive. But Jed sees one girl, Athena, that he knows Jethro will like. And sure enough, he does. Jethro spends the afternoon trying to impress Athena, but she isn’t interested. Drysdale suggests he become a Wood Chuck, the male equivalent to a Biddle Bird Watcher. After he sees how impressed Athena is by the head Chuck, he does everything he can to be a Chuck, even building an ant farm, with a miniature farm. Jethro gets sworn in, but the ceremony is cut short after the ants from the farm attack. In the end, Jethro gets a date, with Lolita, the birdwatcher who saved him from drowning.
Season 5, Episode 14 Aired: 12/14/1966 Foggy Mountain Soap Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampetts, just as Jethro and Elly are preparing to go Hollywood for them and their new movie. But the pair has come to contribute a song for the Foggy Mountain Soap commercial, ruining Elly and Jethro’s plans. Jed and Granny meet the man responsible for the commercial, Commodore Stewart, and the Commodore wants the Clampetts in the commercial. So Jed and Granny become the stars, with Jethro as the director and Elly as Jethro’s “Yes Girl.” The commercial shoot doesn’t go as the Commodore thought it would. Jethro isn’t a good director, and Jed and Granny want to be honest. They think the commercial script is giving lies to the public. Granny ends up plugging her own homemade lye soap, saying not to waste money on store-bought soap. The Clampetts end up going home, not participating in the commercial.
Season 5, Episode 15 Aired: 12/21/1966 The Christmas Present The Clampetts are preparing for Christmas, but are lacking in one thing – Christmas spirit. Jed thinks it is because they aren’t doing anything special for anyone this Christmas. He thinks they should do something special for Mrs. Drysdale, unaware she is still trying to get rid of them. They try to get jobs to raise money for her gift, so she doesn’t find out. After they see the “high-fashion finery” she is donating to the rummage sale, they think she needs to sell her “nicest things” and decide to buy them back. After unsuccessfully searching in the paper, Jethro gets them jobs at a department store, with Jethro as Santa, Elly as an elf, and Jed and Granny in retail. Even though they aren’t the best workers, causing Mrs. Drysdale’s shop lifting arrest and giving clothes away, the Clampetts raise money and buy her clothes back from the rummage sale. They give her back her old clothes on Christmas.
Season 5, Episode 16 Aired: 12/28/1966 The Flying Saucer The Clampetts see part of the Drysale’s new advertising gimmick – Martians and a flying saucer. Drysdale plans to have them fly over the Rose Bowl, throwing out Drysdale Dollars. Jethro thinks they have come for him, since he sees himself as the “giant brain of the world.” The Clampetts take the Martians in for food, though Granny is not happy about their manners. She ends up blowing up their space ship, a giant balloon in the Drysdales’ back yard.
Season 5, Episode 17 Aired: 1/4/1967 The Mayor of Bug Tussle The Clampetts are preparing for a visit from the great mayor of Bug Tussle, even rolling out the red carpet. Of course, the Clampetts have no idea about how Mayor Hogg really is. In fact, he steals other great speeches from great minds in history. When the Clampetts visit the bank, Drysdale tries to impress Jed by planning a giant party for the Mayor, and when he asks to speak to the Mayor alone, Hogg reveals he has misused funds and asks Drysdale for money to keep himself and the city out of trouble. Drysdale turns him down. Mayor Hogg tries to ask Jed for the money, but backs out. Jed tells Granny that he thinks Hogg was trying to propose to her, and Jethro mentions to Hogg he’d get Granny’s millions if they married. Hogg prepares to propose to Granny, but when Drysdale returns with the check, the Mayor runs away. Granny knows that Bug Tussle needs him more than she does.
Season 5, Episode 18 Aired: 1/11/1967 Granny Retires Granny announces to the family that she is planning to retire from her doctor’s practice and tells Elly and Jethro she expects one of them to take over. Jed tells this to Jane and Drysdale, also mentioning how she wants her money to take back to the hills. Drysdale plans to get Granny to stay, so he gets Dr. Clyburn to go to the mansion. After Granny reveals why she is really going back to the Hills, to cure what she calls “Granny’s Complaint,” Clyburn visits the mansion for medical advice. When Granny sees he is lacking on knowledge, she puts him in her class. Though, Clyburn isn’t good with the mountain medicines. Granny decides to let Clyburn go and invents her own cure for her sickness, giving her a whole new look on life, two times everything.
Season 5, Episode 19 Aired: 1/18/1967 The Clampett Curse Granny is getting tired of the clan’s sixty-eight million dollars. When three struggling college girls visit the Clampetts asking for a donation to help them out, Jed hands over a check for their entire fortune. The Clampetts are flat broke, and they have never been happier, though Drysdale is now in a wreck. They pack up to head back to the hills, but end up running out of gas and just pull up in a park. Meanwhile, the girls of N.E.E.D.Y. are being showered with gifts by Drysdale so he can get their sixty-eight million. When Jethro returns home and reveals Jed gave the girls all his money, the girls give the check back to the family, who return to get some food. Drysdale hears this and cries tears of joy to get his money back. Jed sees that the money is his burden, and they have to suffer it themselves.
Season 5, Episode 20 Aired: 2/1/1967 The Indians Are Coming Granny is worried about an Indian attack on their land, after hearing about a problem on the land. However, all it is, is a boundary dispute, which can be easily solved. But Drysdale is worried about losing the Clampett land and Granny is worried about an attack, especially when she hears they are visiting Beverly Hills. However, the two Native Americans who visit, Chief Running Wolf and his son Little Fox, come to talk and visit with Jed and Jethro. But Granny is still expecting a full attack. Drysdale arranges for a fake attack to occur to satisfy Granny so she doesn’t go back home. The attack happens before Jed and Jethro arrive home, and they see the effects of it, thinking Granny did this to keep from admitting she was wrong. Granny, having lived through the “attack,” is visited by a man, John Wayne, and asks him where he was when she needed him.
Season 5, Episode 21 Aired: 2/8/1967 The Marriage Machine Granny starts trying to find a sweetheart for Jed, which Jed is against. Jethro tells Granny about computer dating at Roto Romance, but Granny is against it. But once her potion doesn’t work, Granny looks into it. Jethro checks the place out to, attracting the secretary after she learns of his fortune. Granny goes there to put in a data card for Jed, but once Linda, the secretary, comes out, Granny isn’t pleased. But the real results come out, and the right woman for Jed, Gladys Peabody, heads to the mansion with Mr. Filbert, the man in charge of Roto Romance. Jethro thinks this is the girl picked out for him, leaving both him and Gladys confused. After visiting with Jed, Gladys and he make a connection and end up getting together and Jethro gets together with Linda. That night, the two couples go on a double date, and Jane visits with her date, and some for Granny and Elly. Granny believes computer dating results in getting the wrong guy, but after she sees the young guy for Elly, she changes her mind and heads out with him.
Season 5, Episode 22 Aired: 2/15/1967 Elly Comes Out Elly shows Granny an article about an old school mate getting engaged after having a coming out party. Granny tells Jed about this, and the clan decides to give Elly May a coming out party. Drysdale isn’t happy about hearing this, especially the “spare no expense” part and seeing the Clampetts’ country decorations. Drysdale decides to get someone to help with the task so the Clampetts don’t embarrass themselves, getting his wife to tend to help the Clampetts. However, she sees this as the way to get the Clampetts out of Beverly Hills. She doesn’t change a thing the Clampetts have done. Drysdale and Jane see what she has done and make a few last minute changes. They call all the people on the guest list and tell them it is a costume party. That night the party is a success and everybody has a good time.
Season 5, Episode 23 Aired: 2/22/1967 The Matador Jethro wants a job to make money and stops by the movie studio looking for work. He sees El Magnifico, a bullfighter, who gets flocked by girls and makes millions, and Jethro decides that bullfighting is what he wants to do. The family isn’t too happy, but Jed decides to get a bull for Jethro, figuring he’ll give up fighting the bull to barbecue it instead. Jethro gets the bull, but has no luck fighting it, and Elly starts making a pet out of it, naming it Marvin. Meanwhile, Drysdale sets up El Magnifico with Elly May, hoping for a joint savings account of twenty million in the future. El Magnifico is amazed with the gorgeous Elly, and she likes him as well, but after she sees him fighting the bull, she gets upset, throws him out of the fight, and leaves him. But Jethro sees the bull and attempts fighting him, also getting thrown out of the ring.
Season 5, Episode 24 Aired: 3/1/1967 The Gypsy's Warning Mrs. Drysdale hires two gypsies, Narda and Yerko, to scare the Clampetts away. Granny is afraid that the gypsies will try to steal Jethro away. But the gypsies have another plan, after they hear how much the Clampetts have. They try to trick the Clampetts to get some of their fortune, as well as get money out of the Drysdales. But once Drysdale and Jane learn of what Mrs. Drysdale did, they pose as gypsies to try to make sure the Clampett fortune doesn’t get taken away. The first two gypsies try to get the Clampett money, but Drysdale is able to stop them, and in the end, the clan, Narda and Yerko, and Drysdale and Jane have a little hoedown.
Season 5, Episode 25 Aired: 3/8/1967 His Royal Highness Mrs. Drysdale invites a king to stay with the Drysdales, paying the Clampetts to stay away. Drysdale plans to set King Alexander up with Elly May and tells Jed the King is visiting them. However, nobody knows that the King is actually broke and working as a servant. Drysdale sets Elly May up with His Majesty, but Mrs. Drysdale, who does not know about the set up of Elly and Alexander, hopes to set up her niece Doreen with the King. However, Doreen mistakes Jethro, dressed in a costume from the movie studio, for the King. The King hits it off with Elly May, but Doreen doesn’t exactly enjoy Jethro’s company. King Alexander tries to get engaged to Elly, but she is not impressed and turns him down. When Doreen and Mrs. Drysdale arrive and Doreen is told Jethro isn’t the King, Alexander goes after her, learning she is worth a good amount of money.
Season 5, Episode 26 Aired: 3/15/1967 Super Hawg Drysdale acquires a baby hippopotamus, which the Clampetts see and mistake for a giant hog. However, Elly May knows the difference, realizing that this is a hippo. Granny is desperate to become the owner of this “hawg,” knowing how much meat this critter will provide. Drysdale agrees to sell it to the Clampetts, but Granny thinks the price is too high. She decides to haggle with Drysdale, who offers the hippo/hog for free, but Granny wants to haggle and does. She ends up paying fifty dollars for it, but decides to give the hog back for the “long nosed calf,” actually a baby elephant. But in the end, Drysdale gives both the animals to the zoo, painting bank promo children’s rhymes on both animals.
Season 5, Episode 27 Aired: 3/22/1967 The Doctors It is Spring Tonic time, and Granny dispenses it out at the bank. However, Dr. Clyburn finds out about this and threatens to shut Granny out. Drysdale tries to prevent Clyburn from doing anything and suggests that Clyburn show Granny what modern medicine is. Granny accepts the invite, thinking it is a date, putting on flowers on her doctor’s coat. However, while she is down there, she sees that Roy doesn’t get any patients, unaware he has cleared his afternoon. When one of his patients, Mrs. De Longpre, does come, Granny gives real advice and not medicine, turning her away. When Granny gets back home, she wants to help Roy. The family makes a commercial advertising Clyburn’s services. Jane, Drysdale, and Clyburn see this, knowing it’ll hurt Clyburn and upset him. But once Mrs. De Longpre visits, praising Granny’s advice, she says how everyone is at a charity bazaar, meaning no one saw the commercial and Clyburn's reputation wasn't ruined.
Season 5, Episode 28 Aired: 3/29/1967 Delovely and Scruggs Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampetts along with Gladys, who is taking a screen test. Little does Gladys know, her husband arranged for Jethro to be the director of her test to maybe prevent her from becoming a big movie star. Gladys isn’t too pleased with this, but she does her screen test with Jethro, who is unaware, singing to him. The screen test is a success, and Gladys wants to celebrate by spending three days in a hotel suite as a second honeymoon with Lester. But Lester arranges to stay at the cabin out back and tells Gladys if she can’t handle the conditions, they can head back home. Gladys knows Lester’s intentions, and she plans to make him suffer while she is strong. She succeeds in her plan and gets the results of her screen test back. The studio tells her that they are ready to sign her, but she turns it down, saying she wants to stay Mrs. Lester Flatt, and not Gladys DeLovely.
Season 5, Episode 29 Aired: 4/12/1967 The Little Monster Jethro has an idea of starting a new business, a five second car wash. But Jed and Granny don’t care for the idea and think that Jethro and Elly need jobs to fill their time. At the bank, Milburn is taking care of his nephew, little Milby. Jane doesn’t want to take care of the sneaky child and Drysdale doesn’t have the time. When Jed visits asking for jobs for Elly and Jethro, he says that Elly May can take care of Milby. They bring Milby home with them, and he tricks Jethro out of many of their expensive works of arts and antiques for less than two hundred dollars. Granny and Jed find out and are ashamed that Jethro would take advantage of a child, and Drysdale and Jane find out the steal Milby made. Drysdale decides to punish Milby in a way he never has been before – he takes his money belt away from him.
Season 5, Episode 30 Aired: 4/19/1967 The Dahlia Feud Granny starts off her day in a positive mood, even finding a wood board for her root cellar. But once Mrs. Drysdale comes over, calling her a thief, and accidentally hitting her with the board, knocking her into the pool, Granny's happiness becomes anger. When Dyrsdale hears of this, he tells his wife to be kind to Granny. And Jed tells Granny to be sweet and cheerful. But after another meeting, where Granny finds a shovel that Bessie carried into the yard, which belongs to Mrs. Drysdale's gardener, Granny gets knocked into the pool again after getting hit by the shovel. However, at the Drysdales', Jane reveals that the thief is Bessie, and Drysdale decides to have Margaret name her flowerbeds after the Clampetts. Granny heads to fight Mrs. Drysdale and sees her gardener. She is scared, but after having some moonshine, she gets ready to fight. But when she arrives, she sees the flowerbeds and mistakes them for graves. Granny pleads with them to not kill her family, but everything gets cleared up, and Granny returns home with her neighbors singing a cheerful song.
Season 6, Episode 1 Aired: 9/6/1967 Jed Inherits a Castle Jethro tells Jed that he has inherited a castle in England, after hearing the word from Drysdale. He gets costumes from Tudor times, thinking that Queen Elizabeth I is still reigning. Jethro even makes Granny wear an oaf costume, since she doesn't have Clampett blood. Drysdale and Jane visit, and Jane tells the Clampetts that what Jethro is telling them is wrong. But after Drysdale paints a picture for Jane, the two convince the Clampetts to go, even providing an oaf for Jethro, Miss Jane. After Jethro finally makes Granny "royalty," the clan, dressed in normal clothes, goes to get their passports. Though after letting Jethro speak for them, the clerk doesn't believe about the castle and thinks he is on a hidden camera show. The clan prepares to leave to England, stopping by the bank first, where Jethro has Drysdale become his oaf. After that, they go to board their plane to go to England.
Season 6, Episode 2 Aired: 9/13/1967 The Clampetts in London The Clampetts are on the plane to England, with “Sir Jethro” as their leader. But with this comes a detour. The Clampetts get off the plane in San Francisco, after Jethro believes it is England. They get back on the plane and do finally arrive in England and are told that Jed’s cousin Marcus is late, meaning deceased, but they think he means late because he is diseased. After they arrive, Granny runs into trouble at the customs inspector’s office and gets her medical supplies and her jug confiscated. But after that is over, Granny heads to find a drug store to get new medical supplies. After Granny gives a few ideas of what she needs, the chemist thinks she is reciting the witches’ brew from Macbeth and thinks she wants Shakespeare, which Granny thinks is a medicine. But after he tells her some love sonnets, Granny starts falling for him. Jed quickly gets Granny out of there, and the clan heads to their castle.
Season 6, Episode 3 Aired: 9/20/1967 Clampett Castle The Clampetts finally arrive at Clampett castle, and meet Mr. Faversham, who they call Major Domo after a misunderstanding with his name, also mistaking his name for a greeting. Granny decides to check on Marcus, but doesn’t know that the dog of the house is sitting in the bed. She feels the dog through the curtain and thinks the staff and doctors have been neglecting him. Jethro is working on fulfilling his duty as a knight and decides to start hunting dragons. He has no luck with that. Elly also is working on getting a knight by acting as a damsel in distress. And Granny soon believes that the family dog ate Marcus and tries to convince Jed, who doesn’t believe the story. Drysdale finally arrives at the castle, getting told about the Clampetts and they’re strange ways. And Granny decides she wants to leave because of the man-eating dog.
Season 6, Episode 4 Aired: 9/27/1967 Robin Hood of Griffith Park Drysdale is trying to get Jed to go back to America, but Jed wants to stay. Granny is intent on going too, until Jethro tells her he started the War Of The Roses. She wants to stay and feud, but Jed wants to go home before a war starts. Jethro decides to live like Robin Hood since he was robbed of his birthright. After they arrive back home, he, Elly, and Bessie head to Griffith Park to live like Robin Hood and his Merry Men. They capture a hippie, Buddy, and his girlfriend Stella. At the mansion, the family and Miss Jane go look after Jethro and Elly. And in Griffith Park, the captured Buddy and Stella agree to join Jethro, especially when he mentions smoking crawdads. Stella has her sights on Jethro, but Buddy is interested in smoking crawdads, thinking this whole event is a result of "crawdads," and Granny, the Queen of Crawdads Smokers.
Season 6, Episode 5 Aired: 10/4/1967 Robin Hood and the Sheriff Jethro is still playing Robin Hood in Griffith Park, along with Elly and Bessie, and the Clampetts are trying to get them back. But Jethro is finally getting his band of Merry Men, and women, after Buddy the hippie brings his friends from the Sunset Strip. While they are having fun, Jed, Granny, Drysdale, and Jane enter the woods to look for Jethro and Elly. Drysdale stays with the car and gets captured while Jed, Granny, and Jane are away. Jethro and his Merry Men make Drysdale join them. While he is changing into the clothes Jethro gave him, Jethro and the hippies head to the lake to get crawdads. As this happens, two police officers investigate what is going on. They first capture Drysdale, but then Granny after they think she is a hippie. At the lake, Jethro comes through with the crawdads, actual crawdads, and when the hippies see this, they think Jethro is too far out for them for smoking them. The hippies run away, and the police see them and let Granny go to chase them, since that is easier than holding onto the feisty Granny.
Season 6, Episode 6 Aired: 10/11/1967 Greetings From the President Just as the Clampetts are preparing to go home to the hills, Jethro receives a draft notice from the President. The women go ahead without them, and Jethro gets a few uniforms from the movie studio, one of a Prussian Field Marshall and one for General Patton. Jethro buys a tank and hopes for a crew, employing Drysdale as it in a Prussian Field Marshall uniform. While in Griffith Park, the park ranger reports what he saw, and two cops come down to investigate. During target practice, one of the cops, Charley, questions Drysdale, realizing he was the man who was the reason he was captured during WWII. An upset Jethro arrives at the mansion, and Jed asks if he will take him to the Sheriff’s office because Drysdale needs bail money and money to repay Charley, or else he may get shot.
Season 6, Episode 7 Aired: 10/18/1967 The Army Game Granny and Elly arrive back home just as Jethro is going to head into the Army. Granny decides to give Jethro his physical examination so the Army doctors don’t touch him. Though, Granny’s medical tools consist of a hammer to test reflexes and a burning candle to examine his throat. She splints his busted knee and puts corks in his ear to keep the draft out of them. Jethro heads down to the recruiting office in that condition and limping. The Colonel thinks that Jethro is a real patriot, to want to serve in this condition, but the Army Psychiatrist believes that Jethro is a genius draft dodger. The Colonel and Psychiatrist ask to see his family, and he returns with his family in his Patton costume. After meeting the family they believe is fake, they believe that Jethro is a genius, hoping to draft him before the CIA does.
Season 6, Episode 8 Aired: 10/25/1967 Mr. Universe Muscles In Elly is getting ready for her date with Troy Apollo, which was set up by John Cushing from the Merchant's Bank. When Drysdale finds out, he knows that this could be bad for his bank and sets Elly up with Mr. Universe. When the Clampetts meet him, they think his muscles are a result of an illness. Dave tells them that he noticed the muscles when he had the barbells for two weeks. He also tells Elly that he only has the afternoon to visit, and she believes he only has the afternoon left to live. Meanwhile, Drysdale keeps scaring off Troy Apollo. Troy mistakes both Jane and Granny for Elly. The Clampetts keep trying to help Dave get rid of his condition, and Troy keeps trying to meet Elly. But he then mistakes Bessie for Elly before she comes. While Mr. Universe is lifting weights, Elly lifts it up herself, saying she gets her strength from Granny's food. Dave then runs asking Granny for triple helpings of her food, and when Granny tells Jed, he tells her she needs to start making a cure for indigestion.
Season 6, Episode 9 Aired: 11/1/1967 A Plot for Granny For Granny's birthday, the Clampetts plan to surprise her with some land in the country. Jed calls a number Jethro saw an ad for. However the Clampetts do now know they are calling a cemetery. After a misunderstanding, the men from the cemetery begin believing the Clampetts are cold-blooded killers, having killed an entire family named Green, Granny, and Mrs. Drysdale. Of course, they are talking about planting vegetables and planting a tree for Mrs. Drysdale. After they visit, they see Granny, thinking the alcohol Jed offers brings her back to life. They leave and Granny sees a scarecrow of her, thinking she's dead, and swears not to drink again.
Season 6, Episode 10 Aired: 11/8/1967 The Social Climbers Granny gets a letter from home, from Adeline Ashley, a hillbilly socialite. Miss Ashley says she going to stop by while visiting friends. However, she arrives early. And through her whole visit, she sets her sights on marrying Jed. Jed isn't at all interested, but hopes that Miss Ashley could meet Mrs. Drysdale and arranges it. But once Jed tells Drysdale Adeline arrived early, Jane arranges a way to get her excited, by spreading a rumor that Adeline is a leader of society. Soon Mrs. Drysdale is dying to meet her, trying to get in good with Granny, but that doesn't work. Granny tells Adeline about Mrs. Drysdale, and Adeline decides to stay there, since Jed won't propose and to get with classy people again. When Mrs. Drysdale sees Adeline, she's horrified and screams, making the Clampetts believe she is happy to see the visitor.
Season 6, Episode 11 Aired: 11/15/1967 Jethro's Military Career Jethro is practicing being a Navy Frogman. Granny, who has been testing her flu serum, a.k.a. moonshine, sees Jethro and thinks there is a monster in the pool. When she tells Jed, he thinks it is a result of her moonshine. But Granny finally is shown that it isn’t a monster, but Jethro. Jed decides that Jethro needs some type of guidance, so he calls Miss Jane, who tells Drysdale. Drysdale decides to get Jethro interested in comic books, and after reading those, Jethro decides to get a rocket and go to the moon, thinking there are beautiful Moon Maidens up there. He decides to use Granny’s flu serum as his fuel and launches himself up. This makes the news, and the Clampetts, Drysdale, and Jane watch as Jethro says his words thinking he is at the moon. And Drysdale sees the bill for Jethro’s rocket, which turns him all green, just like Money Man.
Season 6, Episode 12 Aired: 11/22/1967 The Reserve Program Jethro is getting ready to enter the reserves, and the Clampetts are giving him a party, with gifts, including lady fingers, a squirrel rifle, and a Confederate uniform. Jethro heads down to the reserve where they are preparing to shoot a Civil War movie. The men there think Jethro is an actor for the movie. Jethro soon thinks that the Civil War is going to happen again and rushes home to tell Granny and Elly. Granny decides to take up the fight to make sure the South wins, again, since she is convinced they won the first time. Granny, Elly, and Jethro head down to the reserve office to get some information. While looking in the Colonel’s office, Granny sees the actor dressed as Ulysses S. Grant and believes it is the real one. When she returns home, she tells Jed, who thinks it is a result of her moonshine.
Season 6, Episode 13 Aired: 11/29/1967 The South Rises Again Granny, Elly, and Jethro are preparing to fight the "Yankee soldiers" in Civil War II, but Jed has no plans to join. The cast and crew of the movie are getting ready to shoot it, but the actor playing Grant isn't a sober man, and the Confederate soldiers are missing. On their way there, Granny, Elly, and Jethro see the actors in Confederate uniforms marching to the shooting site. The clan prepares to help the soldiers, while Drysdale decides to get in good with Granny by joining her fight and dressing as a Confederate soldier. He thinks it is all a joke, but once he hears the shooting, he chickens out. Granny, Elly, and Jethro take up the fight, and Granny shoots Grant, but he gets back up. So Granny has a few more shots to give him, knocking him down with one of Elly May's lady finger bullets. Granny tells the Confederates to charge and then goes to act as a doctor to Grant, sharing her jug with him. When she gets home, drunk, she comes with a friend, General Ulysses S. Grant.
Season 6, Episode 14 Aired: 12/6/1967 Jethro in the Reserve Granny still believes she captured the real Ulysses S. Grant, still unsure that he is an actor in a movie. Granny also thinks that Colonel Blake is responsible for starting the second Civil War. Granny is upset at Blake, as well as Drysdale, for running away from the battle. Drysdale tries to get in good with Granny by replacing Grant’s picture on the fifty-dollar bill with General Lee and tells her he captured Grant. Of course, she knows better. Jethro is getting ready to enter the Army reserve while Granny is getting more interested in General Grant. But he sees Elly May and goes after her. After Grant rejects Granny for Elly, she dumps him, in the pool. Jethro heads down to Reserve headquarters to take the test and enroll, where he hears Grant talking about shooting, the movie though. He tells Granny, and they head to the Culpeppers’ plantation, where Granny shoots him a final time.
Season 6, Episode 15 Aired: 12/13/1967 Cimarron Drip Jethro is hoping to get a part in Dash Riprock’s new TV series, getting a whole new image. Little does Dash know, the show, which is a rehash of every successful show since 1948, didn’t make it, and the female lead, Debbie Dimples, has impossible demands. Drysdale suggests that they use a monkey, Elly’s chimp Cousin Bessie. When Chapman and the director of the show come up to the mansion to audition Bessie, Granny, Jed, and Jethro think it’s for him. Jethro thinks he gets signed, when Bessie does, and tries to become a cowboy for the role in the series. He learns that it is Bessie who is the star and ends up becoming Bessie’s manager, dressing her like s starlet. After they see that Bessie’s sweetness and innocence has been taken away, Chapman and Von Schlepper decide to find another monkey.
Season 6, Episode 16 Aired: 12/20/1967 Corn Pone Picassos After Mrs. Drysdale buys a statue named "Ecstasy," which is nothing but a huge pile of metal scraps, the Clampetts decide to get involved in art to help their neighbor in the contest she is entering. Jed and Jethro buy an authentic Rembrandt, a Sam Rembrandt, and Granny uses her artist cousin as influence to paint Mrs. Drysdale a for-sure winner, thinking the statue she bought has no chance. Granny and Elly also cover up Mrs. Drysdale statue with mud and "correct" the painting Jed and Jethro bought. At the unveiling, Mrs. Drysdale wins, but not with her mud-covered statue or Sam Rembrandt. She wins with the painting of blue bananas Bessie made.
Season 6, Episode 17 Aired: 12/27/1967 The Clampetts Play Cupid Granny is hoping that Elly May and Dash Riprock will settle down and get married, since the two have been out on a lot of dates for nearly half the night – eight o’ clock at night. Dash is hoping to get a more serious relationship with Elly as well, but her family keeps getting in the way. But Elly is not looking for a future with the Hollywood movie star; she’d rather have a farmer. When Granny hears this, she decides to set up another woman with Dash, Miss Jane. Granny tries to turn Dash off of Elly and get him hooked onto Miss Jane for his movie premiere. But Dash stays interested in Elly, making Granny give up. Elly decides to use her own plan, telling Dash that she wants him to give up the Hollywood life for that of a farmer who lives in a log cabin in the Hills. Elly’s plan works, and Dash ends up taking Miss Jane to the movie premiere, making Granny happy that her plan worked.
Season 6, Episode 18 Aired: 1/3/1968 The Housekeeper Miss Jane is worried about Granny, who cleans the entire mansion by herself. Jane tells Jed and Elly that she thinks they need a housekeeper. Drysdale tells Jane that his wife is looking, and Mrs. Drysdale comes through with one. They decide to have Granny accept her by telling her this housekeeper is a little lady just like her who needs the money, and Granny decides to allow the help. However, Mrs. Meek isn’t a sweet housekeeper, and Drysdale wants to get rid of her so she doesn’t hurt the Clampetts feelings. Granny learns that Mrs. Meek doesn’t do any real housework, and she decides she wants to get rid of her as well. Granny decides to mess the house up, knowing Mrs. Meek won’t clean it up. Mrs. Meek quits, having accepted a job as a prison guard, and Granny cleans it up, making her happy because she is doing what she enjoys.
Season 6, Episode 19 Aired: 1/10/1968 The Diner Jed thinks that it is time for Jethro to start in the business world, and Jethro decides to become a fry cook and open his own restaurant. Jed is okay with this, but when he tells Drysdale, he is unsure of this because he is afraid of losing some of the Clampett money. The banker does end up buying Jethro a place on Restaurant Row, but the building is a wreck, with rent only thirty-five a month. Jethro is just glad to have a place of his own. But once he opens, no one even visits, except one lady who needs to use the phone. After she leaves, Jed, Granny, and Elly come down to Jethro’s place, “The Happy Gizzard,” because they miss him. Jethro is under the weather after having no luck, but after being offered the help of Granny’s cooking, he brightens up.
Season 6, Episode 20 Aired: 1/17/1968 Topless Anyone? The Happy Gizzard isn’t doing well, and Jethro wants to improve his business. He thinks he has an idea to make his restaurant a huge success. After seeing signs outside other restaurants, he believes his restaurant should have topless waitresses. But he thinks this means the waitresses don’t wear hats. Jethro tells Drysdale just as he is working on landing twenty million dollar account, scaring the millionaire Vanderponts away. But luckily, the Vanderponts reconsider and Drysdale offers to take them to dinner. Jed invites Drysdale and the Vanderponts to dine at their restaurant that night. Luckily, before the meal, Jane clears the Clampetts about what a topless restaurant is. Jethro has the restaurant go French for the night, but Granny serves the country food. Drysdale and Mrs. Vanderpont aren’t happy, but Mr. Vanderpont enjoys it and reveals he and his wife are from the Hills. He offers to buy the restaurant from Jethro, with Granny as the chef.
Season 6, Episode 21 Aired: 1/24/1968 The Great Snow Granny misses the seasons, especially the snowy winter. She wants to go home to the Hills and see some snow. Jed decides to let Granny win and calls Drysdale to tell him that Granny wants to head back home to the Hills. He learns that she wants the snow back. Drysdale comes up with a plan to keep the hillbillies in Beverly Hills. He tells them that a big blizzard is going to strike Beverly Hills and stages the whole thing. He gets fake snow and wolves, sound effects, special effects, and turns the air conditioning up full blast. After all this takes effect, Drysdale and Jane visit the mansion to “help” the Clampetts. However, during their visit, the Clampetts see that these wolves are stuffed and the snow doesn’t melt, and Jed realizes that none of this is real. Drysdale pins the whole scheme on Miss Hathaway, and Jed thanks her for going through all this trouble to make Granny happy. So Granny won’t learn the truth, Jed tells her Drysdale is sick, and she gives him “snow” ice cream, making Drysdale run out for a hospital.
Season 6, Episode 22 Aired: 1/31/1968 The Rass'lin' Clampetts Granny has been in a bad mood for a while, so the Clampetts put up the cabin to cheer her up. After singing and rocking, Granny starts getting happier, but Mrs. Drysdale comes over to complain about the shack and gets in a fight with Granny. After Jed hears about this, he tells Granny that city women don’t fight like this, but Jethro tells him they do on TV. That night, Granny, as well as the rest of the clan, tune into Ladies Wrestling, watching the Boston Strong Girl fight Rebecca of Donnybrook farm. But, Granny thinks that this whole fight is real, as well as Rebecca’s sad story. After watching the Boston Strong Girl beat up Rebecca, Granny decides to take care of things herself. She heads down to the wrestling arena and beats up the Boston Strong Girl.
Season 6, Episode 23 Aired: 2/7/1968 The Great Tag-Team Match It is the day after Granny beat up the Boston Strong Girl, making her the new champ, and the Clampetts are celebrating Granny’s great victory. But not all is well. The woman who plays the Boston Strong Girl is in trouble for getting beat up. The woman who plays Rebecca of Donnybrook Farm, a former topless waitress, has learned the truth, getting an invitation from Granny to visit. Their manager, Gene Booth, sees this as an opportunity to get Granny to fight, after hearing the huge ratings the fight got, thinking the Clampetts are poor. They later learn that the Clampetts are well off. Granny isn’t interested at first, but after hearing that Rebecca and her family have to fight the Boston Strong Girl’s family and meeting the Boston Strong Girl’s parents, she agrees to a tag team match: The Clampetts, representing Rebecca’s family, and the Boston Strong Girl’s family. The fight happens, and Granny beats up all three of them, single-handed.
Season 6, Episode 24 Aired: 2/21/1968 Jethro Proposes Granny has heard that Miss Jane has never been proposed to and wants to help out. She tries to get Jed to propose, but has no luck with that plan. Granny then settles to have Jethro propose to her. Jethro asks Miss Jane out, and she accepts. While at the bank, Jethro also meets the gorgeous new night guard, Ilse. At the dinner that night, Jethro proposes, hoping Miss Jane will turn him down, but she accepts. The next day, Jethro is saddened by this, and Jane regrets her answer, wanting to let him down lightly. Drysdale is afraid Jane saying she takes back what she said would upset the Clampetts, but the Clampetts are okay with Jethro trying to get rid of Miss Jane. Granny makes a strong anti-love potion, X4, but it smells horribly, so it doesn’t get used. Jethro goes to the bank with the engagement ring, but Jane tells him no. Jethro is happy with the answer, and Miss Jane, not knowing how her ex-fiancé really feels, sees Jethro suffering, while kissing Ilse.
Season 6, Episode 25 Aired: 2/28/1968 The Clampetts Fiddle Around Jane took Jethro to a concert the previous night, sparking an interest in playing the violin in Jethro. Jed has Drysdale and Jane hire the violinist they saw, Sebastian Stromboli, to teach Jethro. Before his lesson, Jane learns that Jethro doesn’t care about the music, having fallen asleep during the concert, and only wants to meet girls. Jethro’s music lesson doesn’t go well at all because he keeps falling asleep and doesn’t take it seriously, not to mention he lacks talent. Granny and Jed aren’t pleased with the music they hear, and they call up an old friend, Fiddlin’ Sam, to give Stromboli lessons. Stromboli is offended at first by being told he needs help, but after he learns that Fiddlin’ Sam makes two million dollars a year, ten times more than he makes, he starts playing Turkey In The Straw.
Season 6, Episode 26 Aired: 3/6/1968 The Soap Opera Granny wants to keep her doctor’s practice going in Beverly Hills. Elly, while on the phone with Miss Jane, is told about Rex Goodbody, who is a character on “A Journey To Misery.” Elly tells Granny about him and that he might need an operation, and they decide they want to help Rex Goodbody improve. Granny learns that Goodbody is a neighbor, and the Clampetts decide to prevent the operation. They finally get a hold of Goodbody. Granny starts treating him, and once Rex learns Granny is rich, he starts making a move on her, hoping to marry her. Though, Granny tells him to leave, since his character, thinking he is really him, is married. The next day on the soap opera, Rex has the operation, causing the Clampetts to rush to the studios, and they see that the doctors are wearing make-up. The hillbillies decide to take Rex home with them so he doesn’t get the “unnecessary” operation.
Season 6, Episode 27 Aired: 3/13/1968 Dog Days While Elly is washing her dogs, Granny calls that the food is ready, and the dogs trample her. Granny tells Jed and Elly that if the dogs don’t go, she will. Drysdale is also having dog troubles, annoyed with the fact that his wife’s dog gets beauty parlor treatment. Jed finally convinces Granny to let the dogs stay, but after changing her mind, she gets trampled by Elly’s new dogs, causing her to want them all out again. Elly tries to store her dogs somewhere so Granny doesn’t get upset and ends up leaving them in Drysdale’s office. Jane tells Ilse, the gorgeous German guard, to walk Mrs. Drysdale's dog Fifi, so Claude doesn't smell another dog on her fur, and as she walks her in front of the bank, Jethro pulls up. Ilse gets her words mixed up, making Jethro believe he should clip Fifi. He does, and Mrs. Drysdale is happy about the results, telling Jed as Drysdale and Jane tell Jed and Granny about the dogs. The next morning, as Elly is getting ready to give away her dogs, Granny looks the cute faces over and decides they can all stay.
Season 6, Episode 28 Aired: 3/20/1968 The Crystal Gazers Granny believes she has the power to predict the future, and she is set on doing whatever she needs to make them all come true, especially when she realizes that she never actually predicted what started her on it all.
Season 6, Episode 29 Aired: 3/27/1968 From Rags to Riches Drysdale tells the Clampetts to put the up the cabin, to make a commercial showing how he took a poor hillbilly family living in a dirty cabin and made them rich, putting them in a gorgeous mansion in Beverly Hills. Miss Jane doesn’t agree with his plan, and ends up getting upset after he lies about a giant nest egg, breaking her egg over his head. Drysdale arrives at the cabin to make sure all is all right and tells his wife what it is for. She throws him out on his head, and Granny thinks Drysdale has hurt his head badly, and decides to perform a head transplant. She sees the eggshell left from the busted egg and believes it is his skull. Luckily, Jane comes in time to say that Drysdale is all right and the commercial gets filmed. The Clampetts think this is a result of the hit on the head he got. But with Drysdale as Super Banker, the Clampetts film the commercial of how a hillbilly family went from destitute to rich with the help of Mr. Drysdale.
Season 6, Episode 30 Aired: 4/3/1968 Cousin Roy The Clampetts are preparing for Cousin Roy to visit Beverly Hills. Granny feels bad because Roy had to live on his mother Myrtle’s, Granny’s enemy, cooking. When Roy gets to the mansion, he sees Elly May, who he has a huge crush on, and performs a song about her for the Clampetts. But Roy’s main purpose for visiting is to sell his mom’s medicine, Big Momma’s Magic Mixture, and finds great success in doing it. Myrtle plans to visit Beverly Hills as well, to have some fun with Mr. Drysdale, who thinks she is a rich widow. Granny tries to prevent the spread of Myrtle’s medicine and tries to stop any effect it might take. However, while she is doing this, she and Jethro get arrested for pushing. Drysdale learns of this, but tells Jed he has good news, that Myrtle Halsey is visiting. Jed knows this isn’t good news. When Myrtle arrives, she sees Jethro and thinks he is Drysdale. Granny decides she is going to perform a mercy killing.
Season 7, Episode 1 Aired: 9/25/1968 A Bundle for Britain Drysdale arrives to tell the Clampetts they now have eighty million dollars in his bank, giving them a Japanese transistor radio, and making them believe he has suffered to make their money as much as it is. After he leaves, the Clampetts want to unload their burden on Drysdale. Jethro tells him he should give the money to England, because they sold “Queen Elizabeth” and “Queen Mary.” After learning it was ships that have been sold, the Clampetts decide the Queen needs help, and they decide to take out their money and give it to the Her Majesty. They tell Drysdale, and he has to prevent it from happening, so he hires an English actor to pose as the Queen’s minister to stop this. However, after the actor learns of their fortune, he decides to take advantage of the opportunity, selling the deed of Canada to them. The Clampetts decide to head to England and give the deed back to the Queen.
Season 7, Episode 2 Aired: 10/2/1968 Something for the Queen The Clampetts, Drysdale, and Jane are heading to their castle in England. Their plane ride isn't the easiest, especially for Drysdale and another passenger. Jethro smuggles Elly's turkey buzzard on board, and Drysdale is attacked by it in the bathroom, as well as another man who has the misfortune of being seated near the clan. But after getting toniced, the man is alright. The Clampetts finally arrive in London, after driving all around trying to find Buckingham Palace. After not knowing about staying at a hotel, the clan heads to their castle, and Granny decides to once again continue the fight of the War of the Roses against the castle next door. When the Colonel fires his canon, Granny, Elly, and Jethro believe the war is on.
Season 7, Episode 3 Aired: 10/9/1968 War of the Roses Jethro challenges Colonel Dumbarton at the castle next door to the second War of the Roses, to which the Colonel accepts. The Clampetts now have that, and are still hoping to give the deed to Canada back to the Queen. Drysdale arranges Queen Elizabeth I to visit the castle, since the Clampetts still think she is in power. The Clampetts are preparing to fight their war before the Queen comes. Granny trains a few staff members, but Jethro announces he has a plan to end the War of the Roses, with a joust. They charge one another and get knocked off their horses. But Jethro is the first one to get off the ground, meaning the Clampetts win the War of the Roses. After having their success in war, the Clampetts meet Queen Elizabeth I, actually Jane is disguise, and return the deed to Canada, get their name cleared of coward since they won the war, and Jethro gets knighted.
Season 7, Episode 4 Aired: 10/16/1968 Coming Through the Rye Jethro has taken up on spying on the next castle and has caught sight of the Colonel’s lovely niece, Sandy. But when he shows her to Granny and Jed, she has moved and her brother, Emlyn, wearing a kilt, has stepped to where she was. The clan starts believing that Emlyn is Sandy. Jethro believes that Sandy is intent on marrying him after she was joking with him and tells his family that they are going to marry, depressing Granny. When Jane and Drysdale visit, Jane clears everything up and tells them that what they see is a man in a kilt. Jed tells Jethro, and Granny confirms it, and Jethro thinks the family is trying to make him crazy. Soon after, the Clampetts meet the real niece, who tells them that she cannot marry Jethro because she is just a commoner. All is alright, and the Clampetts, the Colonel, his niece and nephew, Drysdale, and Jane have a square dance to celebrate.
Season 7, Episode 5 Aired: 10/23/1968 Ghost of Clampett Castle The Clampetts are enjoying their stay at Clampett Castle, but Drysdale wants to get back home. The staff at the castle is enjoying the Clampetts staying at the castle, hoping they'll stay and see the castle's ghost. When Drysdale hears the story, he tells the Clampetts about the ghost. Lady Clementine, making up a story about a murderer. The tale scares Granny, making her want to leave. Jethro plans to get rid of the ghost himself by holding a séance. When Drysdale learns of this, he decides to have a ghost appear to scare them. That night, Granny is very nervous, but prepared. Drysdale speaks as a ghost, and after he threatens Granny, she shoots her gun. Jane backs out at playing Clementine, making Drysdale wear the costume. But when Granny sees this, she shoots the ghost, causing Drysdale to run and scream, which scares Jethro. The Clampetts leave the next day, hoping to visit the Queen. Drysdale and Jane stop this from happening, and they just board the plane.
Season 7, Episode 6 Aired: 10/30/1968 Granny Goes to Hooterville Right after the Clampett's return from London, Granny gets a letter saying to go to Hooterville. The problem is that nobody knows where it is. Granny tries to find out, but doesn’t have much luck. Jethro, who won’t get any food from Granny since she is focusing on Hooterville, is desperate for food and accidentally eats Elly's grits and rocks for her critters. Granny has to “doctor” him back to health. While entering the kitchen, she mistakenly sees Jed holding Miss Jane, after she hurt her back, and thinks they are getting married. She tells Drysdale, when he comes over, and he has Jane get back to the office where she is rewarded for her hard work. In the end, Granny leaves to go to Hooterville, and the whole romance of Jane and Jed is cleared up.
Season 7, Episode 7 Aired: 11/6/1968 The Italian Cook Granny has been staying in Petticoat Junction, and her family is hungry. Elly May decided to take over the cooking, though her dishes are worse than eating nothing. The clan asks Granny to come home, but she says she can’t. So Jane suggests to Jethro that he hire a cook, and he ends up getting a gorgeous cook that only speaks Italian. The new cook, Maria, prepares delicious dishes for the family, but Granny does not know about this girl. She receives a telegram from Jethro that says the family is desperately starving and comes home right away. She sees the family eating spaghetti and thinks they are eating boiled string. She learns the telegram was a lie and chases Jethro out of the room, so Jed and Elly finish their meal.
Season 7, Episode 8 Aired: 11/13/1968 The Great Cook-Off Even though the Clampetts are enjoying Maria’s cooking, Granny is upset that there is another cook in her kitchen. She wants Maria to leave, and Jed knows Maria leaving is the best thing to make everything alright. Though, Jethro is in love with Maria, hoping to marry her. Jane figures out a way to get Maria in good with Granny. She arranges a meeting between the two cooks, and Jane tells Maria to answer “Yes” to everything. However, Granny tells Jane to leave during the meeting, and Granny questions Maria if she is trying to marry Jed, to which she answers "Yes," as she was instructed. Jethro overhears this and believes Jed stole Maria away from him and challenges his uncle to a gladiator fight, which never happens. Granny decides to let Maria stay, after hearing her real story, and teaches Maria some dishes, which leads Maria to create Country Italian cuisine.
Season 7, Episode 9 Aired: 11/20/1968 Bonnie, Flatt, and Scruggs The Clampetts are preparing for Lester and Gladys Flatt and Earl Scruggs' visit, not knowing they are doing promotional shots for the movie “Bonnie and Clyde.” But when they find out, the Clampetts start taking interest. Jethro and Elly borrow Lester and Gladys’ Bonnie and Clyde costumes and scare Dyrsdale. When he finds out, he decides to play a prank on Cratchit, an accountant. Two cops arrest him, thinking he is actually a gangster. Jane gets him out of jail by telling the police they were shooting a Bonnie and Clyde commercial for the bank. This gives Drysdale an idea to make a commercial where all the great bandits on the thirties clean out every bank in Los Angeles and when they get to his bank, Super Banker stops them, which was what Jane told the cops. He gets the Clampetts and Gladys to play the gangsters and Flatt and Scruggs to do the theme. The commercial goes well, until the cast "robs" the bank and drives off, after Cratchit allows it to happen, since Drysdale cheated him out of money.
Season 7, Episode 10 Aired: 11/27/1968 The Thanksgiving Spirit The Clampetts head to the little town of Hooterville to spend Thanksgiving with the folks of Petticoat Junction and Green Acres. Jethro goes there as a big Hollywood producer to get some girls, and Granny is excited about seeing Sam Drucker. Drysdale is against this because he is in fear of losing his biggest account. He tries to stop them, but has no success. Jane lends the Clampetts her car so they can travel in style. From the moment they arrive in the little town they find enjoyment. Elly meets Eb, a country boy who is crazy about her, and Jethro meets the beautiful Bradley girls. Plus Granny is reunited with Sam Drucker. The clan ends up having one of the best Thanksgivings of their lives.
Season 7, Episode 11 Aired: 12/4/1968 The Courtship of Homer Noodleman The Clampetts leave Hooterville, after spending Thanksgiving there. They return to their mansion, telling Drysdale and Jane about the boy Elly started dating. When Drysdale hears of this, he decides to get a country boy to come and court Elly. He employs Dash Riprock to play country boy, Homer Noodleman. After the Clampetts are introduced to Homer, Granny wants to meet his father. Drysdale arranges it, getting Jane to pose as the father after promising her the sweetest roll she’s ever seen. Jethro enters and asks Drysdale if he can have one of the sweet roll in his car, and Jane learns she has been tricked. She calls Homer Noodleman rotten, and Dash calls his “father” an old nut. Jane chases Dash out of the house and throws sweet rolls at Drysdale. Elly comes in and asks where Homer went, and Granny and Jed tell her to forget him.
Season 7, Episode 12 Aired: 12/11/1968 The Hot-Rod Truck Jethro wants a new car, embarrassed by the truck. He buys two new cars for two different images he is trying. But Jed tells him to just get a few new parts. Granny, who is celebrating her birthday, believes that they are planning to replace her. But she learns the truth, and wants the truck to stay the way it was. Jethro ends up getting a whole new front for the truck, and when Jed tells him to fix it, he gets a whole new back. Granny gets the mechanics who fixed up the truck to put the old truck together, and to settle what is the better automobile, the two race their cars. Granny, with the help of her moonshine as gas, wins the race, and Jethro wants the hot rod truck back.
Season 7, Episode 13 Aired: 12/18/1968 The Week Before Christmas Granny gets a letter from Sam Drucker in Hooterville, but Elly's bear eats it. So after Granny finds very little success knowing if she is engaged or not, Jed, Granny, and Elly all decide to spend Christmas in Hooterville.
Season 7, Episode 14 Aired: 12/25/1968 Christmas in Hooterville The Clampetts and Miss Jane arrive in Hooterville for the holidays, but Jethro and Drysdale stay behind. On Christmas Day, Jane calls her boss to wish him a Merry Christmas, but he is in a bad mood. After he tells her that she is fired, Jane tells him that she could just go to work for Sam Drucker, since Jed gave him a new bank. Upon hearing this, Drysdale passes out. When he comes to, he decides he needs to go to Hooterville to save his largest account. But Jethro refuses to drive him and tells him to take the truck, along with Elly’s bear, which he does. Meanwhile in Hooterville, Granny is trying to figure if Sam has proposed to her or not, and after hearing him talk to Elly about a marriage, to Eb who wants her hand, Granny believes that Sam likes younger girls. So to appear younger, she dresses as a Victorian-age girl and scares both Sam and Uncle Joe off.
Season 7, Episode 15 Aired: 1/1/1969 Drysdale and Friend The Clampetts and Miss Jane return from spending Christmas in Hooterville to learn that Drysdale has driven after them, along with Fairchild, Elly’s bear. Back in the hills, Drysdale gets arrested for vagrancy and bootlegging in a place called Ripley. When they learn, the people at the bank couldn’t be happier that their boss has been locked up. But the hillbillies and Jane are desperate to get Drysdale out and try to find out where it is. They contact Sam Drucker in Hooterville, who heads to Ripley to try to help Drysdale out. He doesn’t exactly succeed, and Drysdale’s case happens the following morning, with a mean judge. But after the judge learns Fairchild treed his wife, the Judge starts loosening up. The Clampetts come to help Drysdale, and end up befriending the judge, and all the charges are dropped.
Season 7, Episode 16 Aired: 1/8/1969 Problem Bear Drysdale has come down with the flu after spending so many nights outside while on the way to Hooterville. Granny wants to help him with her Possum Ridge Penicillin, also known as White Lightening. She leaves Drysdale a jug of it, but he puts it to the side and takes a sleeping pill. However, Elly’s bear Fairchild has taken up drinking Granny’s moonshine and climbs into his room as Drysdale is sleeping and drinks the entire jug. When Granny checks on Drysdale, she sees the jug empty and believes he drank it all. She leaves another jug, which Fairchild gets hold of, and when the Clampetts return, they believe he drank another full jug. Meanwhile, Mrs. Drysdale is upset that her husband only has a common flu, but after he tells her he saw a hairy creature float out, a drunken Fairchild, and a little nurse, Bessie, she cheers up. She shows her friend, but Mrs. Van Ransonhoff sees the animals and wants to learn more, asking Granny what she knows. And Granny reveals everything, embarrassing Mrs. Drysdale.
Season 7, Episode 17 Aired: 1/22/1969 Jethro the Flesh Peddler Jethro has started a new career, as a flesh peddler, a talent agent. He gets set up on the fifth floor of the bank to run his office. Drysdale learns that the talent agency he rented the fifth floor to is actually Jethro and isn’t too happy about that, hoping to get Jethro out. Meanwhile, at the mansion, Cousin Roy has stopped in Beverly Hills to record an album, and the clan tells him that he should get Jethro to be his agent. But Jethro turns him down, depressing Roy, making him want to leave. Elly convinces Roy to stay in Hollywood by flirting, and Roy decides to go through with making the album.
Season 7, Episode 18 Aired: 1/29/1969 Cousin Roy in Movieland Cousin Roy is working on his album, with the Clampetts’ support. The clan is still hoping that Jethro, the self-proclaimed biggest talent agent in the business, will represent Roy, but the flesh peddler still isn’t interested. Drysdale is still trying to get him off the fifth floor of the bank. To collect rent, Drysdale tries to get Jed to back Jethro by telling him he's decided to back Roy. To ensure this, Jane tells Jethro that if he doesn’t represent Roy, he will lose his office. Jethro takes Roy and redoes his image as a folk rock group, Blue Boy Roy and the Electric Zoo, which includes Fairchild the bear and Bessie the ape. During Roy’s performance, Drysdale tells Jed that Roy’s album is a smash hit, and after the performance, Roy gives up the look Jethro gave him. Jed and Drysdale tell Jethro to continue as Roy’s agent, but Jethro says the only way he will is with a lot of crawling. Then Roy learns that his album is a success, and Jethro crawls on the floor after him, begging to be his agent again.
Season 7, Episode 19 Aired: 2/5/1969 Jed Clampett Enterprises Drysdale evicts Mr. Show Business, the Boy Genius of Hollywood, Jethro, and his talent agency, from the fifth floor of the bank building and, so he can collect his five thousand dollars-a-month rent, rents it to Jed, who, along with Granny, turns it into a combination wood shop/dentist office/hospital/barber shop/and pet shop. J.C. Enterprises opens for business, and provides its medical services to Drysdale. After he realizes that the Clampetts need patients, Drysdale decides to send the bank employees up for the medical services.
Season 7, Episode 20 Aired: 2/12/1969 The Phantom Fifth Floor The Clampetts are in charge of the fifth floor, with their all-purpose offices. Jethro, the Crowned Prince of Show Business, decides to move his talent agency to the mansion. Meanwhile, the building inspector sees Elly walking with an advertising sign telling people to follow her to the fifth floor of the Commerce Bank building and questions what's going on up there. To cover, Drysdale tells him that the Clampetts are mourning the death of Jethro, the Boy Genius of Hollywood, because he jumped out the window, and the Clampetts are occupying the fifth floor awaiting the return of the brilliant agent. He visits the Clampetts and after visiting with them and talking with them, he thinks that they are on their way to improvement. Drysdale gets out of another one, until Granny is able to almost pull all his teeth out for the upper plate Jed whittled.
Season 7, Episode 21 Aired: 2/19/1969 The Hired Gun The Clampetts are opening up J.C. Enterprises at a decent hour, five o’ clock in the morning. Drysdale is getting tired of his largest depositor’s waking him up early and of their practices. To get the Clampetts out, he hires a hired gun to scare the clan. Drysdale and Homer, the hired gun, strike up a plan where Drysdale “defends” the Clampetts, and Homer threatens them. Their plan goes into action, and after Homer threatens to wipe Drysdale out, Jed tells Drysdale that they’ll leave the fifth floor to save him. But after Drysdale returns to his office, and Homer leaves, Jed calls Drysdale office to tell him that he is their greatest friend, and they are going to stay on the fifth floor to fight with him, making Drysdale question where he went wrong.
Season 7, Episode 22 Aired: 2/26/1969 The Happy Bank Drysdale is sick of the Clampetts running their various businesses on the fifth floor, but more of the bank employees, secretaries, visit J.C. Enterprises. One secretary, Carol, is scheming to get Jed to take interest in her, after learning how much he’s worth, while Granny is treating Louise Cats, who she tells Drysdale is a bank employee, actually just a pregnant cat of Elly May’s. Drysdale hears of this, and after Granny says they don’t know who the father is, he worries that this news of an unwed mother will get out. And Carol uses this story to her advantage so Drysdale will allow her to visit with Jed and give her a raise. But Drysdale is safe in the end, and the Clampetts finally decide to leave their business on the fifth floor. That is until, a real pregnant cleaning woman visits Granny’s maternity ward, and Drysdale freaks out about it.
Season 7, Episode 23 Aired: 3/5/1969 Sam Drucker's Visit The Clampetts return from giving up J.C. Enterprises, and Granny gets a telegram saying that Sam Drucker, who won a trip to Hollywood, is going to visit, thinking he is coming to propose. When he arrives, she tries to get him to believe she is the goddess of the handsome Hollywood actors, as does Jethro, who doesn’t want Granny to move to Hooterville. Sam listens to all of Granny’s stories, which Jed is having quite the time listening to. Jethro, who is helping Granny with her tales, asks Dash Riprock to pretend to date Granny, also mentioning that the Lone Ranger is her hero. Dash, to help Jethro to ensure the clan stays in Beverly Hills, comes to the mansion as the Lone Ranger, and he and Granny ride off.
Season 7, Episode 24 Aired: 3/12/1969 The Guru Jethro decides to become a guru, only to get the women they get, and seeks the help of Mrs. Drysdale's guru, who is really a fake just after money. Granny tries to bust him, but after the two have some moonshine, she ends up becoming the Great Mother, the Queen of Gurus, herself. She decides to go to India with the guru. Drysdale hears of this and calls the police to arrest a phony guru, and when the police do show, they end up arresting Granny in her guru getup.
Season 7, Episode 25 Aired: 3/19/1969 The Jogging Clampetts Granny sees Mrs. Drysdale chasing her husband, unaware that they are jogging, saying that she is really going to beat him. She starts believing that Mrs. Drysdale is beating her husband and the violence will spread. When Elly says that she beat Jethro, Granny worries the violence has spread, but Elly and Jethro clear everything up, telling her they’ve been jogging. This explains what the Drysdale were doing, though Drysdale has taken up jogging to land the thirty million dollar account of the president of the Beverly Hills Jogging Club. After Granny gives Drysdale a complete examination, solving his freak blood pressure, she says he is healthy enough to jog. He goes jogging with Jason, the president of the Jogging Club, just as Elly and Jethro are forming their own club. Drysdale collapses, and after Jason insults Drysdale’s doctor, Granny, she challenges him to a jogging match, and wins. And Elly and Jethro get members of the Beverly Hills Jogging Club to join theirs, after they followed the jogging Elly.
Season 7, Episode 26 Aired: 3/26/1969 Collard Greens an' Fatback Granny is cooking collard greens and fat back for the Spring Collard Festival, just as the Drysdales are planning to sell their house, to move into the house on the other side of the Clampetts. As the possible buyer, Pat Boone, is touring the house, he smells an unusual odor, which Mrs. Drysdale covers as orchid fertilizer. But Boone, who comes from Tennessee, knows it is collard greens and fat back and heads to the Clampetts. The Clampetts welcome him, but after they hear he lives on singing, they believe he’s a drifter who has fallen on hard times. When Drysdale hears Boone has befriended the Clampetts, he believes he can up the price of the house. But when Mrs. Drysdale learns Boone has investigated the Clampetts, she drops the asking price to ten thousand, upsetting her husband. Pat Boone ends up refusing what Mrs. Drysdale sold the house for and performs at the Collard Festival.
Season 8, Episode 1 Aired: 9/24/1969 Back to the Hills Granny is afraid of a mountain lion she sees in her root cellar, and Elly May reveals it is hers. But after reading the paper and seeing that Elverna Bradshaw’s daughter is getting married, Granny tells Jed they need to go home and return to the Hills to get Elly married first. As Granny is planning the trip home, Jethro reveals he is going to college, as Jed is unsuccessfully trying to have breakfast. He tells him he’ll bring home some of his college friends, and when he does, he reveals he has befriended protesting hippies. Drysdale and Jane visit to clear up the story of them going back to the hills, where Jed and Granny think they might want to stay there. Jethro decides he wants to stay behind in Beverly Hills to stay in college, and Jed asks Jane to get the rest of them on a plane to home.
Season 8, Episode 2 Aired: 10/1/1969 The Hills of Home The Clampetts head home to the Ozarks with the goal of getting Elly May married before Elverna Bradshaw's daughter does. And with the Silver Dollar Fair about to start, they believe they'll be able to meet a lot of young, single men. Granny has something else going on besides getting Elly a husband, she is fighting with her enemy Elverna Bradshaw and betting her granddaughter will marry before Elverna’s daughter. Meanwhile back in Beverly Hills, Jethro is pursuing his college career, protesting whatever he can. And Drysdale is trying to save his bank from the protesting hippies by saying he is one of them.
Season 8, Episode 3 Aired: 10/8/1969 Silver Dollar City Fair It is the first day of the Silver Dollar City Fair, and Granny is working on getting Elly May a husband before Elverna Bradshaw's daughter gets married. The two women continue to fight and argue, challenging one another more and more. But with the excitement of the fair, Elly enters a few contests, and Granny arranges plots to brag about Elly May where she just stumbles upon this random, beautiful girl at the basket-weaving contest, candle making contest, and the medicine show. Her plots all nearly get ruined when Elverna and Jed catch her in the acts. Back in Beverly Hills, Drysdale is worrying he may lose his biggest account, while taking care of their house, pets, and Jethro.
Season 8, Episode 4 Aired: 10/15/1969 Jane Finds Elly a Man Granny continues her search to get a man for Elly, though fears her mission might be harder with Elly having entered the cake-baking contest. Back at the mansion, Jethro becomes restless in Beverly Hills and decides to join his family in the Hills, especially after hearing about the fair going on. Miss Jane comes along, being told by Drysdale to keep her watch on the family and not to let Elly get serious about a man, and ends up finding a man for Elly May in the woods.
Season 8, Episode 5 Aired: 10/22/1969 Wedding Plans After Matthew says he’d be proud to marry Elly, the Clampetts begin to plan and rehearse Elly's wedding to Matthew Templeton. Meanwhile, Drysdale tries to stop this wedding from happening, or at least from losing his largest account. He goes to Silver Dollar City and decides to buy the Bank of Bugtussle so he can still handle his favorite account.
Season 8, Episode 6 Aired: 10/29/1969 Jed Buys Central Park Granny and Elly are preparing for the wedding, but a big blow comes when Matthew mentions that he has a wife, and Granny learns he is really a preacher, saying he’d marry Elly because he marries people every day. Meanwhile, con man Shifty Shafer, a.k.a. Honest John, comes to Silver Dollar City and, after hearing how much money they have, he persuades the hillbillies to go to New York with him. They agree, especially Granny, who wants to escape her embarrassment of Elly not getting married and Elverna Bradshaw winning their bet. When Drysdale, who just bought the Bank of Bugtussle, hears the Clampetts went to the Big Apple, he passes out.
Season 8, Episode 7 Aired: 11/5/1969 The Clampetts in New York The Clampetts and Honest John arrive in New York, where the police are waiting for him to arrive. The police tell him he has to leave in twenty-four hours, which he tells Jed means that he has arranged that New York City stay open for twenty-four hours since the city normally closes at nine o’clock. He spends his time showing the Clampetts Central Park and other sites and sells Jed more property. As this is all happening, Drysdale and Jane are desperate to get to New York City to get the Clampetts out of the clutches of Honest John. They finally get there and are told where the Clampetts are by a cab driver who drove the Clampetts before. As the day ends, Honest John is planning to leave with Jed’s money, but after the Clampetts’ good heartedness and sweetness takes effect, he gives the money back and leaves the city.
Season 8, Episode 8 Aired: 11/12/1969 Manhattan Hillbillies After Honest John was told to leave, the Clampetts are alone in New York City, with Drysdale and Jane trying to find them. The clan is planning to build a cabin in Central Park, and they are working on preparing everything. A police officer finds the Clampetts cooking in the Park, telling them what they are doing is illegal, but once Granny tells the Irish cop that the man who told them what they are doing is okay's last name is “Oh, Schaffer,” and her son-in-law’s last name is “Oh, Clampett,” he changes his attitude and lets the Clampetts get away with everything. Jane and Drysdale finally find the Clampetts and convince them to go back to Los Angeles with them. The hillbillies finally agree to leave after they start realizing they are homesick and get on a plane to head home.
Season 8, Episode 9 Aired: 11/19/1969 Home Again The Clampetts arrive home from their trip back home and to New York, but Granny has lost her glasses. She is convinced that she doesn't need them, even though she gets lost in her own house, and mistakes the vet and his baby brother as a seal and an otter. Elly starts liking the vet, but Granny, still thinking he is the seal, wants them apart. She sees the real vet in the car with Miss Jane, and wishes he was with Elly. To help Granny, Jethro sweeps Jane off her feet, and in return, Granny cooks him all the food he can eat. He also promises Miss Jane a date that night. But Jethro falls asleep after his giant meal, and Miss Jane ends up going out with Jed, while Elly and Dr. Graham go on the double date with them. Jed tells the young couple he hopes they can keep up with him and Jane.
Season 8, Episode 10 Aired: 11/26/1969 Shorty Kellems Moves West Shorty Kellems heads to Hollywood after selling his hotel, silver mine, and house and land. Besides the thousand he has for that, he also has two hundred big ones, since the bills are bigger than the ones Jed has. Drysdale is told Shorty's “big” money makes Jed's look like nothing. Drysdale thinks Shorty has two hundred million and is desperate to get his money in the bank. He promises Shorty a wild Hollywood party if he deposits the money. Drysdale comes through with the "orgy," and Shorty decides to put his money in the bank.
Season 8, Episode 11 Aired: 12/3/1969 Midnight Shorty Because of his supposed net worth, Shorty is dating four of the secretaries from the bank. This does not please Granny though, since Shorty was out all night. Drysdale learns that Shorty only deposited eleven hundred dollars and still wants to get his “big” money. He arranges for a casino near the pool, where Shorty and Granny always win. But Drysdale learns that Shorty's "big" money is not in hundreds of millions, just hundreds. He tells the girls just as Shorty is about to tell them his weakness. When they find out he isn’t rich, Shorty tells them his weakness is checkers, and the upset secretaries dump him into the pool. Jed asks what happened, and Shorty, thinking what he told them is the reason, tells him never admit to a city woman that he plays checkers.
Season 8, Episode 12 Aired: 12/10/1969 Shorty Go Home After Shorty and Jethro stay out all night, not to Granny's approval, Shorty is forced to chop wood in the early morning and do other chores the rest of the day so he will want to go home. Shorty needs money, so he wants to draw out all the money, meaning his $1180 from the bank, but Drysdale thinks Jed was offended after the secretaries threw Shorty in the pool and will draw out his millions. The girls are told to be nice to Jed. Shorty is mad that the girls are being so “fickle,” ignoring him yet kissing Jed, and when they get home, Granny thinks Shorty is causing Jed to live a wild life. She forces Shorty to do the wash. Jed asks Shorty why he doesn't marry a hill woman, like Elly, because she is a hard worker and just as pretty as a city woman. Shorty realizes the truth, and ends up proposing to Elly May. To scare him away, Jed tells Shorty Granny is excited to become his wife. And the thought of that makes Shorty run away to go back to the hills.
Season 8, Episode 13 Aired: 12/17/1969 The Hero Drysdale's nephew Lance Bradford comes to Beverly Hills to start his job at the bank, as Vice President. But with all the celebration for Mrs. Drysdale's hero, Jethro thinks it is for him since he saved her dog from getting his hair cut. When Lance gives his hero speech, Jethro pulls up and accidentally hits his car, knocking him unconscious. This causes Lance to meet the Clampetts, and he begins taking an interest in Elly May. But Mrs. Drysdale doesn't trust them, and tells Lance to stay away because they are setting a trap. Mrs. Drysdale calls Elly a vixen and a peasant, and Granny shoves her in the cement pond. Mrs. Drysdale asks Lance for help, but he can't offer any because he can't swim.
Season 8, Episode 14 Aired: 12/24/1969 Our Hero the Banker Lance Bradford has started working as Vice President at the Commerce Bank, though he really isn’t doing anything helpful. Everyone at the bank, except Drysdale, is excited to get Jet Stream working at the bank. Jethro sees how the girls at the bank react to Lance’s Air Force uniform and decides he wants that attention. So he goes out to get a Four Star General uniform. When Lance visits, needing a new account, Jethro tells him he’ll put his whole allowance in the bank if he sets him up with the girls. Lance tells his uncle he got the account of The Pride Of The Pentagon, making Drysdale happy, until he learns that it is only Jethro and only is getting fifty cents, causing Drysdale to cry what everyone thinks are tears of happiness.
Season 8, Episode 15 Aired: 12/31/1969 Buzz Bodine, Boy General The Clampetts get a letter in the mail from Hooterville from Steve and Betty Jo Elliot with a picture of their baby. With all the great memories of Hooterville from their last trip, the family decides to go. Meanwhile, Jethro is still sporting his Four Star General's uniform, convinced he is an important figure. When he gets smart with Granny, she hits him with a skillet, so he heads to the base for breakfast. The Clampetts leave for Hooterville, and Jethro arrives there before them. When the people see him, they automatically think he's the real deal, but after talking to him, they learn he's just in a costume. Both Sam and Steve warn Jethro that he could get in trouble for wearing that, but it doesn't really faze him, mostly because he doesn't understand them. The Clampetts arrive in Hooterville, and Jed meets Howard Hewes. Steve later tells Jed he needs a new crop dusting plane, and Howard, Steve, and Jed all spark up a deal. Jed calls Mr. Drysdale, who is paranoid that Jed will write one check for his 90 million and the bank will become a parking lot, to tell him that he is in a deal with Howard Hewes. Drysdale thinks that Jed has met the billionaire Howard Hughes and tells Jed he will rush out immediately to take care of the deal. And with all this, Jethro managed to get stuck in Steve's crop dusting plane.
Season 8, Episode 16 Aired: 1/7/1970 The Clampett-Hewes Empire Jed and Howard Hewes are preparing to get their airport deal all wrapped up, and Drysdale decides to come out and visit to meet the famous recluse of a billionaire. He brings along Jane, who is dressed in jeans and an old sweatshirt to look like she has the simple touch, though she's not pleased since it looks so masculine, and his three singing secretaries to sing "Howard Hughes, We Love You." Unfortunately, Howard's wife sees the women and chases him, and sadly catches him, really hurting him. Everything seems to be going smoothly until Drysdale sees the spelling of Howard's last name, learning he is not in fact the billionaire, but just a farmer. This sends Drysdale into a quick state of depression at the end. Meanwhile, Jethro has stopped wearing his Four Star General uniform, into more realistic aviation clothes, what Lindberg would have worn, to learn how to finally fly a plane. But Jethro doesn't find success in that either.
Season 8, Episode 17 Aired: 1/14/1970 What Happened to Shorty? When Shad Heller visits the Clampetts, Jed asks what happened to Shorty Kellems. After Shad says he does not know, the Clampetts wonder what happened to him. At the same time, they are having food stolen from the root cellar. They decide to investigate during the night and catch Shorty in the kitchen, having a snack. He admits to have been hiding out in their root cellar. After both mysteries, what happened to Shorty and what happened to the food, are solved, Jed and Shad decide to get Shorty married to settle him down, and arrange a marriage with Elverna Bradshaw, after convincing him she won a beauty contest, and he decides to marry her. After picking her up at the airport, they plan to go to Las Vegas to marry, but after Elverna heads in, Gloria, a secretary at the bank and an old flame of Shorty, visits, and Shorty forgets all about Elverna and drives off with her. Elly’s ape heads in Shorty’s car to rest under his coat and hat, and thinking it is Shorty, Elverna drives off to Las Vegas to wed.
Season 8, Episode 18 Aired: 1/21/1970 Marry Me, Shorty After remembering how much fun he had with Gloria, Shorty tries to get out of marrying Elverna Bradshaw. To prevent the marriage for a little longer and have a little fun, Shorty tells Elverna he is having a bachelor party. Granny figures Drysdale will do it, and after Jed talks to Drysdale, Drysdale says he is, after thinking Jed wants him to. After a secretary refers to how Drysdale doesn’t properly pay the secretaries and refers to it as slavery, Drysdale decides on an Oriental Slave Auction. After learning he will be a sheik with slave girls, Shorty is excited for the party, but after seeing what the harem girls at the party will be wearing, Elverna and Granny decide to attend. The party goes on, and Shorty, Jed, and Shad have a good time. But Elverna turns up to get Shorty out. To avoid marriage, Shorty handcuffs himself to Gloria, but Shad removes the handcuffs, disappointing Shorty.
Season 8, Episode 19 Aired: 1/28/1970 Shorty Spits the Hook The day of the wedding for Shorty and Elverna has come. Elverna is ecstatic, while Shorty is dreading it. When Jed and Shad wake him up and tell him it's his wedding day, he fights it. He hides in the bathroom, trying to find ways out. He can't escape in any way though. Shad gets the door off, and to keep Shorty in line, Jed and Shad tie him up. Meanwhile, at the bank, the brothers of Jean Bell, little brother Cookie and big brother Earl, come to question why Jean didn't get the bonus she was promised. Drysdale gives Jean the money she deserves. But he still has to get out of the bills somehow. To make everything look better to the Board, Jane suggests they shoot a commercial with the costumes, and Drysdale uses Jean. But her brothers see her rehearsing with Drysdale and think he is treating her horribly. Back at the mansion, Elverna says she is worried about Vegas because there is gambling there. And in her own family, there was a dilemma with it. Shorty overhears this and makes Elverna believe he is a gambler. Elverna runs out of the house and tells everyone the wedding is off. Shad and Jed realize that Shorty tricked his way out of marrying Elverna once again.
Season 8, Episode 20 Aired: 2/4/1970 Three-Day Reprieve Shorty tries to prevent marrying Elverna by having some fun and visiting the secretaries at the bank. Jed and Shad try to keep him in line the best way they can, even by putting a cowbell on him. That doesn’t work, and Shorty goes back to the bank. With the help of Miss Jane, Jed and Shad get another way to keep Shorty interested in Elverna by showing him a picture of Elverna’s head on a beauty contest winner’s body. That works, until Shorty asks to see Elverna in a bikini, seeing her body isn’t like that. He heads back to the bank and refuses to leave, and Jed decides if you can’t beat him, join him, and asks Drysdale if it is okay if everyone heads upstairs for the party in the secretarial pool. Drysdale agrees, and everyone heads to Shorty's party.
Season 8, Episode 21 Aired: 2/11/1970 The Wedding To keep Shorty in line, Shad has built a cage as a wedding present to keep him from getting away. However, Shorty escapes, heads down to the bank, but gets stopped by Gloria. He gets taken back home to rehearse the wedding, and after a failed attempt, escape to the bank and heads in the secretarial pool. When he gets back, he gets locked in the cage, but once again outsmarts Jethro and let’s himself out. He goes back to the bank, but gets stopped by Gloria who has been promised fifty by Drysdale, though he means a birthday cake when she turns fifty. At the mansion, the Clampetts and Elverna are told a judge can marry Shorty and Elverna right away, and Jed and Elverna head to the bank. But before they arrive, Shorty and Gloria have one last dance. After Jed and Elverna arrive, the judge says he cannot perform another ceremony, and Jed, Drysdale, and Elverna learn that Shorty and Gloria got married.
Season 8, Episode 22 Aired: 2/18/1970 Annul That Marriage After Shorty and Gloria get married, everyone but the two of them wants the marriage annulled. Gloria decides she'd like to experience what her new life will be like, and Jed tells her that he'll show her. When he calls the mansion to tell them to put up the cabin, Granny thinks he got married as well. But when both "couples" come home, Granny, Jethro, and Elly learn that Shorty got married, but Elverna didn't, and Gloria got married, but Jed didn't, making Jethro and Granny believe both couples are in a Hollywood marriage. After everything is cleared up, Shorty gets locked back up in the cage and Gloria gets a first-hand experience of what farm life is like. Shorty tricks Jethro to let him out of the cage, and checks up on his new wife. However, Gloria is having no luck as a farm wife and decides to give it up. Shorty can't believe how much of a mess she looks, and when Elverna alerts the couple their marriage isn't valid, they decide to split. But Jed later finds Shorty in the cage, having locked himself in since Elverna was looking good to him.
Season 8, Episode 23 Aired: 2/25/1970 Hotel for Women The family can't find Granny anywhere, making them worry, mainly Jethro, because he doesn't want to eat Elly's cooking. Jed figures she is in the little cabin, which she is. They all decide to stay there, and Shorty gets the mansion. He opens it as a hotel for women. The secretaries of Drysdale's bank decide to stay there and visit. Drysdale learns it is Jed's mansion, and Jane figures he is doing it because he knows how oppressed the girls are. Drysdale also decides to hold the money they are saving for a Christmas fund - for himself. The girls move in, and Shorty finds Helen and Gloria washing their underwear. Helen and Gloria leave to set the table, and Jed find Shorty hanging up the wash, all women's underwear. Shorty tells Jed that they are his, and when Jed asks Shorty about the longer pair, Shorty says they are Jethro's. He heads with Jed to get the food, and Jethro comes up, upset that the job Shorty got for him didn't work out because there were no single women. Shorty tells Jethro he is sick. At dinner, Jethro tries to get in to join the girls. Jed, Elly, and Granny are talking about Shorty's odd habits. Jed goes to the mansion, and finds a woman coming down the stairs. He sees it is Jethro, calls Shorty out, who thinks Jethro doesn't look bad, and tells Shorty to go home. Then Jed joins the girls, who are short of men, not much to Jed's surprise.
Season 8, Episode 24 Aired: 3/4/1970 Simon Legree Drysdale Elly tells Granny and Jethro that the mansion is full of pretty girls. The clan soon learns that Shorty set up the mansion as a hotel for women. They figure they should get some information, and Jethro is more than happy to ask the girls. But they decide to wait until the girls wake up, and when they do, Elly talks to three of them, Helen, Jean, and Joy. At the bank, Jean’s brothers Cookie and Earl are wondering why their sister moved out of her house into the mansion, and Drysdale tells the reason, with one untrue addition, that it is his and he is who started the charity. To prove this, he gives Jean the day off, and Jean takes advantage of it. She helps Elly with the chores and takes a swim. But Cookie and Earl visit the mansion to see Jean, under her own will, doing chores. When Drysdale hears of this, and sees Jean working on her possum pie, he forces her to come back to the bank. But to escape, she locks herself in the cage to tell Granny. Her brothers find her, and later Granny stops by the cage to find Drysdale locked in, after being forced to swallow he key.
Season 8, Episode 25 Aired: 3/11/1970 Honest John Returns Jethro and Granny come home to tell Jed and Granny that they saw Honest John, but never caught up to him. He heads to his wife's house to tell her what happened. When he tells her he's turned straight, she gets mad and threatens him. But after a while, she tells him to go and con the Clampetts. He realizes how they live in L.A, and visits them. He tells Jed he plans to rid the smog by drilling a big shaft in the San Bernardino mountains, put a fan in there, and suck the smog out. Jed says that he will put up the money for the project. When he visits Drysdale, the banker refuses to let him have the money that can be spared unless he tells him what it's for and where. Jed tells him he is going to be drilling in the San Bernardino mountains, and Drysdale thinks he found oil, and plans to buy the land up there. Jed heads home and gives the money to Honest John. As he is about to leave, Elly and Jethro come back, and they get told Jed's plan. The clan thanks Honest Jed, and their sweetness gets to him. Jethro is told to drive him anywhere. When Shifty gets back home, he tells Flo the plan, and she asks where the money is. He tells her not to worry, and when she says she likes to worry and to tell him, he says he gave it back. Flo tells him to come to her arms, not to get romantic, but so she can break every bone in his body.
Season 8, Episode 26 Aired: 3/18/1970 Honesty is the Best Policy While the Clampetts are talking about Honest John and why he didn't accept the money, Shifty and his wife are talking about why Shifty gave it back. They decide to work as a team, with Flo posing as John's Spanish mom. Flo is worried that they'll spot her and realize she is not at all Spanish. Well, luckily, the Clampetts can't see pass her disguise. She uses simple Spanish words as answers. Drysdale wants to know where the drilling is, so he sends Jane to find out. Granny tells Jane the plan to drill to get rid of the smog. When Drysdale finds out, he buys the specific mountain range. Jed heads to the bank to get a new bag of money, but Drysdale isn't too happy about it. He tells him he's acting tacos and should be more tortilla. At the mansion, Flo is looking in the front hall safe, unaware there is goat cheese. She smells it and gets knocked out. Granny revives her with tonic. Jed gets back and gives Honest John the money. He calls a cab and is about to get away with everything, until the tonic gets to his wife. Flo makes him give it back. The two leave, with the same amount as they came with. Drysdale comes to tell Jed that if he wants to drill for oil, he has to lease the land from him. Jed tells him what the whole plan was, and Drysdale is sick, after just mortgaging everything. He is out everything, and Miss Jane has finally seen him getting what he deserves.
Season 9, Episode 1 Aired: 9/15/1970 The Pollution Solution Drysdale is trying to get his money back, while Jed is trying to prevent him from doing so. And Jethro is trying to come up with a way to beat the smog problem. Drysdale sends Jane over to get the money, posing as a guard. When Jed doesn't give it to him, Drysdale tells him what he's got is a drop in the bucket, and only the President could really do anything. Jed returns the money and says he plans to give all his money to the President. To help out, Jethro comes up with the electric car, after inventing the smog-causing steam car, and says he can drive them to D.C. in it. Drysdale arranges a comic to pose as the President over the phone to keep them from giving their money away, telling him Jed thinks he is worth 95 million. Rich Little, posing as Nixon, tells them to do what the man in the white coat says. When a milkman at the mansion reads a note Granny left and tells Jethro the message says they're going to Washington, the Clampetts get on a plane, and Drysdale is too late to stop them. They tell the stewardess about their plans when they meet Mr. President, which sound outrageous, and when Jed asks her how high they are flying, she tells them a lot higher than the plane.
Season 9, Episode 2 Aired: 9/22/1970 The Clampetts in Washington The Clampetts head to Washington D.C to give their money to the President, and Honest John and Flo follow. Honest John convinces the Clampetts that he knows the President and that they can give him money, which he will in return give to the President. Flo poses as Sitting Hawk, the last of the District Of Colombia Native Americans. She sells Jed the White House for one million. After that, the Clampetts go to the White House to move in, but are stopped by the guard. They use some of their new District Of Colombia words to the guard. He sends for a car to take the Clampetts away. They get in the car, expecting to go visit the President, when in reality they were taken away in a police car.
Season 9, Episode 3 Aired: 9/29/1970 Jed Buys the Capitol The Clampetts are confused after being taken to a place called a Psych ward and being called "Paranoiacs and Schizophrenics." They ask Honest John what it is about. He tells them it is a mistake and promises they can see the President, just as soon as some trouble is settled. He returns to Flo and tells her he is going to take the Clampetts for another two million. She wants to go to Guatemala, but he gets her to pose. They sell Jed the Capitol, and much more of the property. Meanwhile, Jethro is trying to figure out where the countries of Paranoia or Schizophrenia are. Jed and Granny return to say they've bought more land. Honest John sells them more and more property, and at the end, he has ten million in property sold. But Elly is looking for a kitten and walks in on Honest John and Flo. The Clampetts all see this and think he is still the salt of the earth for taking in a 150 year old Native American woman. He admits she is his wife, and they are crooks. They misunderstand and still praise him, and he tears up the checks worth ten million. The Clampetts think they have over-praised him yet again.
Season 9, Episode 4 Aired: 10/6/1970 Mark Templeton Arrives Elly comes running to Granny with distressing news, sickness! Fairchild, Elly’s bear, is sick. Meanwhile, at the bank, Miss Jane has a visitor, Lieutenant Mark Templeton of the US Navy. He is Matthew Templeton’s brother. Drysdale kicks the two out, and Jane takes Mark to the Clampetts to meet the beautiful Elly. At this time, Granny made medicine for Elly May’s bear, but Jethro ate it. Elly tries to remake it, but fails, and ends up looking a mess. She bumps into Mark, but Granny tells Mark that’s Nelly, the hired girl. But the two actually meet, and hit it off right away. Granny has high hopes for the pair, but when Mark says he is a Naval Frogman, Granny thinks he is half man and half frog. She heads to the pool and sees Mark in the bottom half of his scuba suit from his navel down. She tells Elly, but Elly doesn’t mind. She tells Jed, but Jed starts thinking this is all a result of her moonshine. Elly tells her family Mark has asked her out, but Granny isn’t happy about this. Mark comes in and invites Jed and Granny, but Jed says the two won’t want them tagging along. Granny continues to act strange around Mark, but Jed believes there is a reason for this and tells Mark she must have made a bad batch and pours the moonshine out.
Season 9, Episode 5 Aired: 10/13/1970 Don't Marry a Frogman Elly May continues to see Mark Templeton, the Navy Frogman, something Granny is not pleased with. She is very frightened that her granddaughter is dating someone who is “half-man, half frog.” After a date Elly has with Mark and a late night movie of Jethro's, Granny begins to have nightmares about this. Granny asks Miss Jane for advice, and Jane believes the whole thing is a nightmare. She tells Granny about Zeus, and after thinking Zeus was a mountain doctor, Granny realizes she could cure Mark of his sickness. She makes a potion to turn Mark into all man, but after Mark leaves his hat and coat behind and a frog jumps in them, she sees this and thinks the potion worked backwards. After she visits Jane for more advice and is told the story of the beautiful girl kissing the frog, turning him into a man, she tells Elly to kiss the frog. After Granny heads into the house, Elly puts the frog down, and when Mark returns to get his coat and hat, Elly kisses him. Granny sees this and believes Elly’s kiss did the trick.
Season 9, Episode 6 Aired: 10/27/1970 Doctor, Cure My Frog Granny checks on Mark to make sure he is all-human. When she sees that he is, she is ready for him to marry Elly May, giving hints. Elly and Mark sit in the parlor, trying to be alone, but keep getting interrupted by the family, mostly Granny and Jethro. Even when they think they are alone, Jethro is watching them, but Elly chases him out. Granny decides to head to the bank and, since she helped her out, brings Miss Jane a frog to kiss, only if she wants to. She gets home, but sees Mark in his scuba suit, thinking he is a frog again. Jed tries to help her, but she doesn’t want it. When Granny talks to Jane again, Jane suggests a psychiatrist in the bank building, Dr. Klinger. Granny visits this Dr. Klinger, and he thinks that when she talks about Elly, she means Elly is in love with a frog. But he helps Granny, and Granny tells him he doesn’t know what he has done to help her, and he agrees.
Season 9, Episode 7 Aired: 11/10/1970 Do You Elly Take This Frog? After Granny returns home, she is told that Mark is going to teach Elly to be a frogwoman. When she hears this, Granny jumps on Mark, trying to stop him. Jed tells her to go to her room, which she does, and falls asleep, dreaming that Elly marries a frog. After Jed lets her out of her room, she runs down to the pool, but sees Elly and Mark with their feet in the pool, and when they take them out, Granny sees the flippers and freaks out. Elly and Mark are getting serious, and when Drysdale hears of this, tries to get in good with Mark by saying he was in the Navy, and succeeds. Granny is still upset about Elly and Mark becoming “frog people,” but Jed puts her in her room to rest. Jethro decides to make Granny feel better by bringing her frogs, two of them, and she thinks they are Mark and Elly. She sneaks out to Dr. Klinger’s office so he can cure them. She leaves, and Klinger gives the frogs to Miss Jane so she can return them home. When Granny gets home, she sees Mark and Elly in human form, thinking Klinger helped. She tells them to stay out of the water, but when Mark says they can’t, Granny jumps on his back.
Season 9, Episode 8 Aired: 11/17/1970 The Frog Family Granny thinks Jethro has turned into a frog after he went swimming and takes him to Dr. Klinger in the bank building. Jethro stops by the bank and takes the frog home. Granny sees him at home and thinks he is cured. Jed decides to learn to be a frogman too, but when he tells Jethro, Granny jumps on him to stop him. Jethro takes Granny to her room, and Granny begs someone to end her suffering. Jed tells her to relax and take a few tranquilizers. Jed practices to be a frogman, and when he ends his practicing, Granny sees a frog in the water, thinking it is Jed. She takes him to Klinger’s office. She tells the doctor all about Jed, and her rheumatism medicine. She comes home and sees Jed in the house and thinks Klinger has done it again. She is about to drink her moonshine to celebrate, but Jed stops her, thinking she has had enough already. She tries to sneak it, but Jed stops her with that too.
Season 9, Episode 9 Aired: 11/24/1970 Farm in the Ocean Mark shows the family a movie of the ocean’s depths, but it still does not impress Granny. Meanwhile, Drysdale is trying to impress Mark. He redecorates his office with Navy memorabilia. Everything goes well, until Mark mentions oceanography and Drysdale donating money like Jed plans to. He throws Mark out, and calls Granny and tells her Mark and Elly can’t get serious. She agrees. Meanwhile, the family plans another scuba lesson as Drysdale and Granny plan to “cure” Mark. Granny, thinking her family became frogs again, tells Drysdale how Dr. Klinger cured them before and takes five frogs she found in the pool (Jed, Elly, Jethro, Mark, and some neighborhood kid) to Klinger’s office, along with Jane. Granny leaves, and Jane tells Klinger the story behind it. Klinger has a way to cure Granny by showing her there is nothing to scuba diving. Miss Jane meets his wife, and they leave and Klinger meets the Clampetts. Granny sees the family return and thinks the doctor made another miracle. She is told that he is going to go in the water, and runs to the pond and sees a frog, thinking its Klinger. So she tells his wife, who is his secretary, to kiss him. Granny leaves, Klinger re-enters, and Granny sees the two kissing, thinking the kiss worked.
Season 9, Episode 10 Aired: 12/1/1970 Shorty to the Rescue Granny has come up with a new way to split Elly and Mark up and has called Shorty Kellems to help her do so. When Shorty arrives, she tells Mark that Shorty used to be Elly’s fiancé and wants revenge on Mark, but her story fails. At this time, Drysdale is trying to tell Jed that oceanography is a bad idea, but doesn’t succeed and ends up saying Miss Jane said it. After this, he comes up with a new plan. Back at the mansion, Granny is still trying to make Mark believe Elly and Shorty love each other, and gets the two to kiss. Mark sees this, as Granny planned, and tells Shorty that Jed traded Elly to Shorty for a mule. Mark questions Jed about this, and Jed and Elly learn Granny made up this story. Granny walks away, and Drysdale visits the mansion with Miss Jane in a straight jacket, telling Jed he taking out his money did this. Jed tears up his check. Meanwhile, Shorty wants to see Mark as half-man/half frog. But at the pool, he sees the seal Elly and Jed are trying to hide, before visiting Mark. Granny heads down to visit Shorty, and Jed and Elly unsuccessfully try to stop her. She sees the seal, and thinks it is Shorty.
Season 9, Episode 11 Aired: 12/8/1970 Welcome to the Family Granny still believes Mark can turn people into water critters and turned Shorty into a seal. She gets the frogman to “turn” him back and continues to try to break up Elly May and Mark up, by having Elly cook for Mark. Meanwhile, Drysdale tries to keep Jed from withdrawing his money from the bank for oceanography research, this time dressing up as Napoleon.
Season 9, Episode 12 Aired: 12/15/1970 The Great Revelation Granny finally realizes that Mark is not half man/half frog. After learning he is all human, Granny is set on finally getting Elly May married to Mark. Elly and Mark are getting more serious, and Mark is planning to leave the Navy to spend more time with Elly and on his oceanography research. When Drysdale learns all of this, he is dead set on splitting Mark and Elly up. After reading about the grunion invasion, Drysdale tells the Clampetts that the Grunion, “a fierce war-like people from the island of Grun,” are invading, and the Navy is needed, including Mark, who is leaving at this moment. The Clampetts believe Mark is a coward for deserting the Navy at wartime, and decide to themselves fight the invading Grunions.
Season 9, Episode 13 Aired: 1/5/1971 The Grunion Invasion The Clampetts prepare to go fight the invading Grunion, while Drysdale works to keep the Clampetts believing Mark has turned coward. The Clampetts head to the beach and set up their headquarters. They look out on the water and see a couple of surfers and mistake them for the Grunion. Elly captures a surfer boy and makes him say he is a Grunion. She brings him to the camp, and Granny tells Jethro to get a Grunion so he can eat. Jethro heads out and gets a girl on the beach who says she is a Grunion because she, like Jethro, is starving. He brings her back to the family’s fort. When the boy and girl meet each other, they joke about being a boy Grunion and a girl Grunion, and Granny thinks that the people of the island of Grun can’t tell each other apart.
Season 9, Episode 14 Aired: 1/12/1971 The Girls from Grun After the Clampetts finish dining with the Grunion they captured, actually just a surfer boy and girl, they let them go and return home since they don’t put up a fight. Meanwhile, Drysdale wants to get his former secretary back and sends Helen to get Jane to return. Helen, while doing so, learns that the Clampetts still believe the Grunion are people, and when Drysdale learns this, he decides to visit the Clampetts and tell them they met the deserters, but he met the fighters. The Clampetts decide to go back to fight the tough Grunions, while the secretaries at the bank form a women’s lib group, naming themselves GRUN, Girls Resist Unfair Neglect. They hold their protest at the beach, and Elly sees Jane marching with the girls from GRUN, thinking she captured them, and Jethro comes carrying Ulla, a secretary, who tells the Clampetts that GRUN only has women, causing Jethro to swim to the island of Grun. Helen comes to the Clampetts to tell Ulla that Drysdale is weakening, and Jane gets the girls, saying Drysdale's surrendering, but the Clampetts don’t believe it. When they see the fireworks display, they believe that the U.S. is winning at Grun.
Season 9, Episode 15 Aired: 1/19/1971 The Grun Incident The secretaries are fighting for liberation, but Drysdale refuses to listen. The Clampetts see the girls protesting, and the girls think they are a goon squad – strike breakers. After Granny and Elly hear the story, they take the side of GRUN. The secretaries decide to go to the Clampetts, but Drysdale tricks them and locks them in his office. Drysdale goes to the Clampetts and tells them the girls have brainwashed Miss Jane. Elly and Granny see the girls’ van and think he is mistreating the girls at the bank. When Elly tells him he should treat the girls well, he disagrees, and Granny flips him. At the bank, the girls try to get out, and make a rope out of clothing to escape from the locked office. Helen and Jane escape and head to the Clampett mansion. Granny gets to the bank and sees the girls locked and undressed in Drysdale’s office. When Helen and Jane get to the mansion, Drysdale tries to prevent the girls from speaking. Granny comes and tells Jed she’ll tell Jed the story with a surprise ending. The girls head back to the bank, and force Drysdale to walk inside in his underwear, as the secretaries were in his office.
Season 9, Episode 16 Aired: 1/26/1971 Women's Lib Granny and Elly have decided to support the women’s lib movement, since Jethro treats them like servants. Each time Jed tries to make it better, Jethro ends up messing it up and upsetting the women even more. At the bank, the secretaries continue to fight for liberation, but Drysdale has decided to challenge them as well. After one secretary, Susie, scared away two guards, Drysdale hires Banzai, a karate expert, to scare the women away, as well as breaking Helen’s car. When Jed tells him that Elly and Granny are protesting, Drysdale and Banzai head to the mansion to put the women in their place. Banzai busts up one of their iron benches, upsetting Granny. She beats him up, greatly shaming the karate expert. The women decide to then leave and join the women’s lib movement. Drysdale asks Jed if Banzai, who is upset about what Granny did, can stay at the mansion, and Jed says it is okay. Jethro hears this and congratulates Jed for doing something right, not knowing it was he who drove Elly and Granny away.
Season 9, Episode 17 Aired: 2/2/1971 The Teahouse of Jed Clampett As Jed and Jethro are waiting for Banzai's Japanese girls to come, Elly and Granny are staying with Miss Jane and the women's lib movement, where they are learning about life in an apartment. At the mansion, the guests arrive, and Jethro, trying to prove he is now Japanese, pronounces his L's as R's, and requests a karate chop, judo roll, and sumo crush, thinking they are dishes, not moves to beat people up. Jed and Jethro are getting a taste of the Japanese lifestyle, though Jethro's is more painful, while the women's lib movement is finding it hard to hide from Miss Jane's landlord, Phinney, especially with Elly's pets running around. Granny and Elly decide to provide a hot meal for the girls, and stop by the mansion to get some of their delicacies, where they see the men suffering. While Granny is cooking, Phinney visits. The girls try to throw Phinney off by telling him he looks like Cary Grant, but he doesn't agree. Gregory Peck, yes, but not Grant. Granny decides to call the mansion to ask if Jed is suffering, but Jed tells her he should go on suffering a few more days, while he is actually living the good life.
Season 9, Episode 18 Aired: 2/9/1971 The Palace of Clampett San The members of Women's Lib decide to teach Jed, Jethro, and Drysdale a lesson after learning the glorious life they are leading at the Clampett mansion.
Season 9, Episode 19 Aired: 2/16/1971 Lib and Let Lib Troubles are following everyone after the women’s lib movement ended. Elly and Granny return home to the mansion, while Jethro still believes he is Japanese and the woman should serve him because women should wait on man. And at the bank, the secretaries are working on better working conditions, but get bullied by Banzai, who is trying to get new girls from Japan. Miko returns to the Clampett mansion, and Jethro believes he loves her, while the lovely geisha is just only trying to get help. When Granny visits the bank, she gets Banzai to cooperate and fix Helen’s car and give back the secretary’s contract, and Drysdale decides not to fly the new girls for Banzai out. Jethro decides to stay at Miss Jane’s place at her suggestion, and Banzai joins him. And Elly learns what it is like to be a geisha, of course Granny is not pleased, and Miko blames herself. But in return, Granny and Elly decide to teach Miko their ways of life. Banzai returns to the mansion, and sees Elly May, but after he learns that’s Jed’s daughter, takes Miko back, who has turned into a hillbilly.
Season 9, Episode 20 Aired: 2/23/1971 Elly, the Working Girl Elly gets a job as a secretary at Mr. Drysdale's bank to ensure proper treatment of the girls working there. But Granny makes her look like a flapper and teaches her wiggle walking, eye rolling, and lap setting. Drysdale throws her out, but after he realizes it is his largest depositor's daughter, brings her back. After Elly gets Drysdale to give Jane a raise, Drysdale gets revenge on his secretary by having her landlord, Phinney, trash her apartment and up her rent by doubling and tripling it. Elly moves in with Jane to appear more as a secretary and a working girl. When Phinney catches the Clampetts and Miss Jane in there, he has them arrested. As soon as Drysdale finds out who has been thrown in jail, he gets them out and makes Phinney the building's janitor.
Season 9, Episode 21 Aired: 3/2/1971 Elly, the Secretary The Clampetts receive a telegram that says Louellen Aden is coming out to California. When Jed tells Jethro about this, they figure out that she wants to marry Jethro. He gets scared and runs away. Meanwhile, Elly is learning to be a secretary, but is not very good at it. She and Miss Jane go to bring Louellen to the Clampett mansion, and the family learns that she has changed into a lovely young lady. But she reveals she came to get into movies, not marry Jethro. At the bank, Drysdale tries to prove he is a good man by treating the girls to breakfast. But his anger towards the fact that Elly can’t do anything gets to him. He mistakenly sees Louellen and yells at her. When Jed enters and asks why she is crying, Drysdale lies and says he was giving her a screen test because he knew she was a born actress. After they leave, Drysdale tells Jane he will give the screen test, and she better look like Steve McQueen.
Season 9, Episode 22 Aired: 3/9/1971 Love Finds Jane Hathaway Elly is starting her new job as a secretary, though not finding success in it. After Jane gets out some of her old typing books for Elly, Dick Bremerkamp, a tenant in her building and unemployed actor, sees the two girls and starts asking Phinney about the gorgeous blonde. After Phinney tells him all about it, he gets in good with Miss Jane, by posing as an Audubon, and Drysdale, by posing as a Getty. Robert, as he is now known, starts getting it good with the lovely Elly May also. But when he has his chance, Miss Jane comes in and spoils it. After Robert leaves, she believes it was because she has tempted him too much.
Season 9, Episode 23 Aired: 3/16/1971 The Clampetts Meet Robert Audubon Getty When Dick Bremerkamp learns more of Elly May's family and all their millions, he decides to pay them a visit as Robert A. Crockett. The Clampetts fall in love with this man as a potential husband for Elly May, just as Miss Jane is falling for him (Robert Audubon) as a potential suitor for herself, and Drysdale is falling for him (Robert Audubon Getty) as a depositor for the bank.
Season 9, Episode 24 Aired: 3/23/1971 Jethro Returns Jethro finally returns from hiding out, as Granny is planning Elly's marriage to Robert Crockett. Everything seems to be going smoothly, until Elly and Robert are driving to Vegas, and Elly learns that he thinks she loves him. In the end, the truth is revealed to everyone, and they learn who this mysterious Robert really is, an out-of-work actor
