Candace Cameron Bure; Valeri Bure
In her new book Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, Bure writes: "My husband is a natural born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work."
While appearing on HuffPost Live, Bure clarified what she meant by the word "submissive," saying she's using the "biblical definition." "So, it is meekness, it is not weakness," the mother of three explained. "It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that's what I choose to have in my marriage."
Bure, 37, went on to insist that simply because she chooses to be submissive, that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't given any say when it comes to making major family decisions. "Listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family and those major decisions do fall on him. It doesn't mean I don't voice my opinion and it doesn't mean I don't have an opinion — I absolutely do but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority," Bure said. "It doesn't work. ... And when you're competing with two heads that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage we are equal in our importance, but we are just different in our performances within our marriage."
Bure added that she always allows her husband to make the final decision on a matter, even if she doesn't agree with it. "I trust my husband, but that trust has been built," Bure said. "And I know that because I trust him and I build him up and give him the respect that he would like to have within marriage that he so listens to everything that I have to say and takes my opinion very seriously. And many of the times he will sway to what I would like, even if he doesn't see eye to eye with me because he really values my opinion."
What do you think of Bure's comments?