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The Dick Van Dyke Show Episode Guide

Season 1 – Aired: 7/19/1960
Head of the Family
Rob tries to tell his son that comedy writing can be fun and he shouldn't feel bad about telling his friends.

Season 1, Episode 1 – Aired: 10/3/1961
The Sick Boy and the Sitter
Rob Talks Laura into going to a party at Alan Brady's penthouse even though she'd rather stay home and look after their ailing five-year-old. Her "woman's intuition" warns her that something terrible will happen if she leaves their son in the care of a babysitter.

Season 1, Episode 2 – Aired: 11/28/1961
The Meershatz Pipe
Rob gets upset because Alan gave Buddy gifts, Rob tries to add to the end of the script. Buddy doesn't like it, So Rob goes home and soon gets tired, which leads him to be sick. Rob goes to the office to try and help finish the script.

Season 1, Episode 3 – Aired: 11/7/1961
Jealousy!
Laura becomes jealous when Rob spends his evenings working with a gorgeous star, while Rob has his hands full with the demanding and volatile diva.

Season 1, Episode 4 – Aired: 10/17/1961
Sally and the Lab Technician
Laura tries to get pharmacist Thomas (her cousin) and Sally together. When Sally arrives, Thomas doesn't get to say much, but Thomas likes Sally anyway!

Season 1, Episode 5 – Aired: 10/24/1961
Washington vs. the Bunny
Rob must decide whether to take a business trip to Washington or see his son perform in a school play.

Season 1, Episode 6 – Aired: 10/31/1961
Oh How We Met the Night That We Danced
Rob and Laura sort through Rob's old Army gear and reminisce about thow Rob broke Laura's foot on the day they met.

Season 1, Episode 7 – Aired: 11/21/1961
The Unwelcome Houseguest
Without checking first with Laura, Rob has agreed to take care of Buddy's dog, Larry, during the long weekend. This causes discord in the family because Laura and Richie were hoping to go away and stay in a motel for the weekend. It doesn't help matters for Rob that Richie is terrified of the dog.

Season 1, Episode 8 – Aired: 11/6/1961
Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, Mo.
Rob is cornered into inviting an old army pal home to dinner. Problem is that Rob doesn't recognize him and comes to suspect that he might be a jewel thief.

Season 1, Episode 9 – Aired: 10/10/1961
The Blonde-Haired Brunette
Fearing she is becoming old and uninteresting, Laura dyes her hair blonde to rekindle Rob's romantic interest.

Season 1, Episode 10 – Aired: 12/5/1961
Forty-Four Tickets
To his horror, Rob forgot to order the Allan Brady Show tickets for the PTA and has 2 days to come up with 44 tickets!!

Season 1, Episode 11 – Aired: 11/14/1961
To Tell or Not to Tell
Rob is concerned when Laura returns to her dancing career and the Petrie household is thrown into disorder.

Season 1, Episode 12 – Aired: 12/19/1961
Sally Is a Girl
Rob takes Laura's advice when Laura shows Rob how to treat Sally like a lady after seeing her treated like a guy. Laura doesn't realize what trouble she causes! Rob hopes Laura's plan to get Sally a man works. Buddy & Mel talk about Sally & Rob going out to lunch leaving Buddy and Mel to believe Rob could be dating Sally behind Laura's back!

Season 1, Episode 13 – Aired: 12/12/1961
Empress Carlotta's Necklace
Mel's cousin Maxwell sells Rob an ugly necklace as a gift for Laura, much to her horror as she must wear it, unable to tell Rob how much she hates it.

Season 1, Episode 14 – Aired: 12/26/1961
Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?
In order to get a head-writting job elsewhere, Buddy has to get out of his contract. With the help of Rob and Mel he does, with unforseen results!

Season 1, Episode 15 – Aired: 1/24/1962
Who Owes Who What?
Laura wants Rob to ask Buddy to pay back an old $25 loan. Rob is embarrassed to bring up the subject directly and uses various ploys to "remind" Buddy about the debt.

Season 1, Episode 17 – Aired: 1/10/1962
The Curious Thing About Women
Laura thinks an episode of The Alan Brady show was written about her. Rob teaches her a lesson.

Season 1, Episode 18 – Aired: 1/17/1962
Punch Thy Neighbor
Laura Millie and Jerry are watching the latest episode of The Alan Brady Show, Jerry tells everybody including the police officer who comes by to ask for tickets that show was bad. Rob takes Millie's advice (after Rob asks if everybody wants more coffee & Millie tries to Jerry to stop joking) pours hot coffee on Jerry's pants! Ritchie comes home and says Jerry got punched in the nose by Rob. Rob later tells Laura that he didn't punch Jerry in the nose. He later hears a waitress say she liked the show. Jerry tells everybody at the restaurant the show was bad (forcing Rob to hit Laura in the nose (with a fingernail!)

Season 1, Episode 19 – Aired: 1/3/1962
Where Did I Come From?
Ritchie asks the age old question Where Do I Come From? Rob and Laura tell the story.

Season 1, Episode 20 – Aired: 1/31/1962
The Talented Neighborhood
The Alan Brady Show announces the "Talented Child Contest" and parents with "talented" kids come out of the woodwork!

Season 1, Episode 21 – Aired: 2/7/1962
A Word a Day
Rob and Laura find Ritchie eating breakfast and reading the paper! Rob is happy his son can read, which gives Rob an idea to test Ritchie's IQ (how smart he is) Laura calls Rob to say she heard Ritchie say a bad word. Rob wants to talk to his son about saying bad word. Ritchie has trouble understanding the difference so he goes and brings his little blackboard out with the word in question, Rob then asks Ritchie not to say the word. Sally and Buddy are working on a joke but all Rob can think of is the dirty word Ritchie said. Rob calls the Kirks to complain about the words Tommy (their son) uses. When the Kirks come over Rob and Laura learn that Mr. Kirk is a Minster!

Season 1, Episode 22 – Aired: 2/14/1962
The Boarder Incident
Rob discovers that Buddy has been sleeping in the office while Pickles is out of town and insists he stay with him and Laura. Will they remain friends?

Season 1, Episode 23 – Aired: 2/21/1962
Father of the Week
Rob is Father of The Week Ritchie doesn't want his dad there, because Rob won't be able to show anything on how to write comedy. Rob think he will get an award, but he has to speak to kids for 30 minutes. Rob finds that explaining comedy to little kids is going to be hard! Mrs. Given doesn't makes things easier when she keeps talking about a parent (who was a jet airline pilot) Rob tries to answer why people are made to laugh, He does movements to have the kids figure out what he doing.

Season 1, Episode 24 – Aired: 2/28/1962
The Twizzle
Rob & Laura find Sally at the door to introduce them to Randy Twizzle (Sally found him at the bowling alley.) They learn how to Twizzle at the bowling alley along with the staff of the show! Mel tells Randy he can do the dance on the show! Laura sets the table but can't stop doing the Twizzle. Sally and Buddy have dinner with Rob and learn that Randy may not do the show because an agent talked to him but Randy's dad wants Randy to do something like a song along with the Twizzle. Randy was worried he worried that he worried that he would be known for the Twizzle.

Season 1, Episode 25 – Aired: 3/7/1962
One Angry Man
Rob has to serve on a jury in a case involving a very attractive blond woman who is accused of larceny. Rob is very smitten with the woman; but also believes her to be innocent. Laura is upset at Rob because he is attracted to another woman. Rob convinces his other jurors that she is innocent.

Season 1, Episode 26 – Aired: 3/14/1962
Where You Been, Fassbinder?
Rob and Laura take Ritchie off to bed for asking Sally if should every marry. Rob, Buddy, and Laura don't want Sally to be alone on her birthday. Mel tell Sally a man dropped by but doesn't leave note or phone number. Laura calls Sally to see how she is, and gets a visit from Leo Fassbinder. Leo tells Sally her name was on his list to talk about getting insurance. Sally wants to be by herself. Leo comes back to clear things up.

Season 1, Episode 27 – Aired: 3/21/1962
I Am My Brother's Keeper
Rob's brother Stacey Petrie arrives at the house, Rob wants Stacey to stay in a hotel because of a secret Rob's brother is a sleep walker ( which means that he can only do things when he is asleep) He may have trouble finding a job after leaving the Army. Mel & Sally meet Stacey (sleep of course) He later lands a job on The Alan Brady Show!

Season 1, Episode 28 – Aired: 3/28/1962
The Sleeping Brother
Rob tells Jerry that Stacey sleep walks, there is one problem Stacey needs to be awake to audition for Alan Brady. Rob plans a party for Stacey to see if he will make it on the show. Will Alan be there? Mel is asked to go to Rob's house but Alan will need to give up his poker game.

Season 1, Episode 29 – Aired: 4/11/1962
Sol and the Sponsor
Rob is having dinner with Mr. Bermont there is a problem Sol Pomeroy shows up unannounced Rob tries to tell Sol that the dinner for four people (Sol invites more people to even up the dinner party instead of leaving) Rob finds his boss rather odd because he doesn't eat before a meal or drink. Sol calls Rob's boss a sucker, Laura and has to figure out how to feed six people, Mr. Bermont comes in hurt after hitting his head on the car.

Season 1, Episode 29 – Aired: 4/4/1962
The Bad Old Days
Buddy believes the American male is on the decline (thanks to an article he read) and feels the days when woman were told by men exactly what to do. Rob is then told bring in the laundry and check on Ritchie. Rob has dream that Ritchie works at the factory and Laura is the washer woman. Rob is very happy to things for Laura.

Season 1, Episode 30 – Aired: 4/18/1962
The Return of Happy Spangler
Laura meets Happy Spangler who guesses who she is married to. Rob got his first job from Happy. Rob offers Happy a job to help Buddy and Sally write the show but doesn't feel he can do it. The gang quickly gets tired of Happy. Rob has to let him go because Happy can't come up with a joke.

Season 2, Episode 1 – Aired: 9/26/1962
Never Name a Duck
Mel brings a box of toys from last weeks show. Rob takes a baby ducks home and doesn't want to see them because she will fall in love with them. Ritchie names the ducks Oliver and Stanley. Rob takes Stanley to the vet because the duck is sick Ritchie learns that Stanley went back to the lake and met Olivia. Rob tells Ritchie that Oliver died because his needs weren't met (like taking him to the lake) Ritchie asks he can bring a wedding gift to Stanley & Olivia.

Season 2, Episode 2 – Aired: 10/3/1962
The Two Faces of Rob
The staff has trouble coming up with a joke. Rob wonders would a wife recognize her husband's voice if he changed it? Rob does that hoping to trick Laura (he manages to trick himself!) Laura dresses up and gives Rob an Italian dinner. Laura continues to let Rob suffer, Now Rob calls as the other man asking Laura for a date at an Italian place at 4:30 thinking she won't go but she does! Laura gets a call thinking it's Rob again on the phone when it is someone else.

Season 2, Episode 3 – Aired: 10/10/1962
The Attempted Marriage
Rob wants to have more sleep, Ritchie comes in with a tray and wants it read to him. This leads Rob Ritchie the problems of getting married they spend time figuring out the day. Laura is at church, Rob wonders if he should marry Laura. Rob is late to his wedding due to the Jeep not starting and wondering if he should go through with it. Rob tries to get the Jeep going and he hops to the church with a broken ankle. Laura comes back ready to her the story. Rob and Laura hope to marry next Sunday, when they do Rob is sick and says, "I Do" at the wrong time and makes Laura leave! (he is so sick he has trouble understanding what is being said)

Season 2, Episode 4 – Aired: 10/17/1962
Bank Book 6565696
Laura has a private bank account, and Rob thinks the money will go to his birthday present. He really wants to find it and gets a shock when he finds out it is a sports shirt. Buddy and Sally give Rob a movie screen that won't go with the projector that he really wanted.Rob gets mad because Laura has her "own" money, Laura tells Rob the idea came from her mom who gave her dad his own room after 25 years of marriage!

Season 2, Episode 5 – Aired: 10/24/1962
Hustling the Hustler
Buddy is about to lose 25 cents for every time he insults Mel. Buddy's brother Blackie drops by, faking his way through pool (he really knows how to play!) so much so that Rob and Blackie play for $300! The bet gets higher as Rob figures out that his playing with a real pool shark! Rob wonders how can give $300 of soda crackers. Blackie now sells real estate! Rob is about to find he married a real pool shark!

Season 2, Episode 6 – Aired: 10/31/1962
My Husband Is Not a Drunk
Rob invites Glen Jameson over to see if post hypnotic suggestions will work on Buddy (who says they won't work) Glen tries to make Buddy drunk, Ritchie wants a glass of water, which hits Rob and makes him, drunk (due to a bell ringing) Rob is still under even after Glen leaves! Rob has really hard day at work and wears his suit inside out and gets Marge (who is on the phone) caught in his coat. He forgets that typewriters also have bells and messes up the joke!

Season 2, Episode 7 – Aired: 11/7/1962
What's in a Middle Name?
Ritchie wonders what the "R" in his middle name stands for (Rosebud) Rob and Laura figure out how to explain how he got Rose Bud for a middle name, it started when Laura tells Rob she is going to have a baby. Ritchie learns he has 7 middle names! (which spell out Rosebud)

Season 2, Episode 8 – Aired: 11/14/1962
Like a Sister
Rob thinks Rick Vallone isn't right for Sally and tries to make him drunk (Sally hates drunks) and asks Rick to fall in love with Laura. Laura is always to smart for Rob and he realizes love is too hard to break.

Season 2, Episode 9 – Aired: 11/21/1962
The Night the Roof Fell In
Rob comes home mad because the script needed a rewrite, Buddy was late, and Sally left early. Rob leaves mad and goes for a walk. Laura wants a chance to talk to somebody so Millie listens, not quite sure what they fought about.

Season 2, Episode 10 – Aired: 11/28/1962
The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally
Rob worries that Buddy & Sally aren't his friends & falling in love with each other. Rob calls Buddy at home and Pickles and thinks Buddy picked up the phone. Now Rob has proof (or so he thinks) that Buddy are working on another show. They are doing a nightclub act on the side.

Season 2, Episode 11 – Aired: 12/5/1962
A Bird in the Head Hurts
Ritchie thinks a woodpecker attacked him. He goes to hide again, Millie is the only one that can prove Ritchie was attacked by the bird. Rob calls everyone he hopes can kill the bird and finds the Game Warden can kill it. Rob tries to catch the bird. Rob finds out that Ritchie's hair is used for a nest! Ritchie sends extra hair for the nest.

Season 2, Episode 12 – Aired: 12/12/1962
Gesundheit, Darling
Rob, Laura, Jerry & Millie are playing cards, when Jerry thinks Rob might be sneezing because he keeps losing a game. Rob thinks he could be allergic to Laura. Rob goes to the doctor to find out he could be allergic to his wife!

Season 2, Episode 13 – Aired: 12/19/1962
A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own
Rob bites some chicken and breaks a tooth but feels bad when another dentist fixes the tooth. He worries that Jerry won't be his friend. Rob tries not to show his teeth. Jerry isn't mad at Rob.

Season 2, Episode 14 – Aired: 12/26/1962
Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra
Rob recalls the time Mrs. Billings asked him to direct the variety show, which centers on Cleopatra. Rob soon finds that getting someone to play the role is very easy when Jerry suggests Laura do the role. Rob feels uncomfortable that she kisses another man. Laura gives up the role and soon agrees to do another variety show again.

Season 2, Episode 15 – Aired: 1/2/1963
The Cat Burglar
Rob & Laura read about a cat burglar and wants his picture in the paper. A noise is heard & Rob takes the gun but can't find the bullets! Laura puts them in her Jewelry box!

Season 2, Episode 16 – Aired: 1/9/1963
The Foul Weather Girl
Laura has a problem when a girl asks for help in lading a role on the show. Laura's problems get worse as Janie tells Laura how far they go back in high school and she is single. Laura gets mad when Rob works nights with Janie, She begins to thank Mel and not Rob.

Season 2, Episode 17 – Aired: 1/16/1963
Will You Two Be My Wife?
Rob has left a manuscript of a book that tells about Rob engaged to someone else. Rob is also in love with Laura, he has to tell her that he is engaged to Dorothy (that's Rob asked for two three day passes) hoping he could tell Dorothy that he wants to marry Laura. Buddy and Sally read the manuscript in secret hoping Rob won't catch them reading it. Rob says Dorothy is 75% sexier than Laura. Dorothy gets mad that she won't be married to him. Rob comes in with aching feet wanting Buddy & Sally to read it!

Season 2, Episode 18 – Aired: 1/23/1963
Ray Murdock's X-Ray
Rob is asked to go on The Ray Murdock's x-ray Show unaware that he will make Laura sound crazy When Ray changes the topic and won't Rob correct his mistake on air and has to keep Laura from watching the show. Rob has the TV fixed (even though it is fine) Laura finds out Rob is on the show in 5 minutes!

Season 2, Episode 19 – Aired: 1/30/1963
I Was a Teenage Head Writer
Mel wants the gang to rewrite a 17minute joke, Rob walks out on his job and is angry that Buddy & Sally didn't quit. Rob recalls the time he joined the show as head writer. Buddy makes fun of Rob. Rob acts like a car hopping to get Buddy & Sally to like him. Alan likes what Rob wrote along with Buddy & Sally. Rob learns Buddy & Sally quit

Season 2, Episode 20 – Aired: 2/6/1963
It May Look Like a Walnut!
In this classic, Rob has a dream - inspired by a late-night horror movie on TV - involving walnuts, missing thumbs, and a creature named Kolac.

Season 2, Episode 21 – Aired: 2/13/1963
My Husband Is a Check-Grabber
Rob and Laura are going home from dinner and Rob has no idea why she is mad. Laura worries that Rob "buys" love. Rob asks if he can pay a house payment so that Laura won't think he has fallen in love with the bank. Laura is glad Rob didn't pay the check, Rob finds one of his faults so he traded toys to make people like him.

Season 2, Episode 22 – Aired: 2/20/1963
Don't Trip Over That Mountain
Rob wants to go skiing, Laura worries that he will hurt himself (she dreamed he hurt his body) Laura's dream comes true. The phone rings 6 times that means Rob had an accident. Rob tells Jerry that the only part of him that doesn't hurt is his lips! Rob plans to "hide" his body from Laura.

Season 2, Episode 23 – Aired: 2/27/1963
Give Me Your Walls!
Rob is wishing he could draw a horse so he draws one on paper but doesn't watch where he draws because he ends up drawing on the wall! Rob tries to find something to take the ink off, but makes things worse. So Rob and Laura hire a painter that once came by looking for work.Laura gets out her endless pile of cards until they find Vito Giotto's card. They are soon in for shock they find out that Vito likes to make a job long (5 days long) because he loves the walls! There is a little problem Vito likes to get started at 5:30 am!Rob and Laura figure out how to rid themselves of Vito but can't because Vito says Rob looks like a priest. Vito charges Laura and Rob $500 dollars for his work, but he doesn't want to be paid yet because he promises Ritchie he would do some magic tricks.

Season 2, Episode 24 – Aired: 3/6/1963
The Sam Pomerantz Scandals
Buddy and Sally are asked by Rob to help in a show for a friend Rob's.

Season 2, Episode 25 – Aired: 3/20/1963
The Square Triangle
Jacques Savon who is a guest Star on the show brings past memories to Rob & Laura who think they broke up Jacques Savon's marriage when they went to France. Laura shows Millie a lump of sugar, Sally really wants to know and is told not to touch the sugar ( it is Laura's memory of Jacques). Laura asks Rob why didn't tell her about the break up. Buddy & Sally tell Jacques what Rob & Laura did. Laura goes back to the office for her shoes. Jacques tells Rob & Laura of divorce.

Season 2, Episode 26 – Aired: 3/27/1963
I'm No Henry Walden!
Rob gets to meet Henry Walden at literary party but feels uncomfortable when he learns that he is the only comedy writer. The Hotels can't get their names right!

Season 2, Episode 27 – Aired: 4/3/1963
Racy Tracy Rattigan
Alan Brady is out of town so Tracy Rattigan is the host. Rob is going to have to fight to keep Laura. Rob doesn't like how fast things are going. Tracy loves driving Rob crazy, The gang writes the best show for Tracy.

Season 2, Episode 28 – Aired: 4/10/1963
Divorce
Buddy calls Rob to say he is divorcing Pickles because Buddy finds checks written to Floyd B. Bariscale! Rob calls Buddy at the hotel and finds he took sleeping pills, Buddy says Pickles was married before to Barton Nelson (a.k.a.: Floyd B. Bariscale who changed his name when he got out of jail. Pickles sent money to Floyd so Buddy's mom wouldn't find out that she was married before.

Season 2, Episode 29 – Aired: 4/17/1963
It's a Shame She Married Me
Rob meets Jim Darling who is an old flame Laura dated. Rob won't tell Laura he ran into Jim at the office, Rob tells Jim they can't make it to his party because Ritchie is sick. Jim then brings the party to the Petrie home. Rob wants Laura to wear a jacket so Jim won't fall in love with her again.

Season 2, Episode 30 – Aired: 4/24/1963
A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise
Rob nearly ruins his own surprise birthday party after Laura finds out Rob already knows! Laura stays up all night planning the party. The guests are hiding in the Petrie house!

Season 2, Episode 31 – Aired: 5/1/1963
Jilting the Jilter
Sally may have found a fella but he wants to take Sally away from The Alan Brady Show, so she can write Freddy White. To keep Sally Rob & Buddy write an act hoping Freddy will lose interest in Sally. Freddy wants to marry Sally to help his career. Sally leaves the office to have good two-hour cry and change clothes (which should take three hours according to Sally)

Season 2, Episode 32 – Aired: 5/8/1963
When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen
Rob needs an idea for the show for the week; Ritchie helps his dad by giving him an idea for talking bowling pin. (Rob has no idea that the bowling pin idea has been used for three years on The Uncle Spunky Show!) Now Alan will be sued by The Uncle Spunky Show. Rob tells Alan to cut the joke, Alan wants to buy the joke and appear on "The Uncle Spunky Show" free and get a pie in the face!

Season 3, Episode 1 – Aired: 9/25/1963
That's My Boy???
Rob tells Mel about the day Ritchie came home when Laura said that Ritchie looked different in the crib. Rob begins to think he took the wrong baby home. Actually they took the right baby home but the wrong stuff like the cards (which were meant for the Peters baby (who left the hospital the same day as the Petries).Jerry & Rob take the footprints of their baby. The Peters come to get their stuff such as the flowers & dried figs.

Season 3, Episode 2 – Aired: 10/2/1963
The Masterpiece
Rob, Buddy, Laura & Sally go to an auction to find something Alan could buy but not know he bought something. Rob is about to be the own an Artanis after Rob shows Buddy & Sally how people made bids (by pointing to someone's nose.) Mr. Holdecker thinks Frank Sinatra may have painted the picture.

Season 3, Episode 3 – Aired: 10/9/1963
Laura's Little Lie
Are Rob and Laura married? This episode brings up that question as Rob asks Laura to sign insurance forms that Laura never signed. Laura does everything she can to hide a mistake Rob doesn't know about. Rob is tired of "losing his wife" He finds out he married a 17 year-old Laura.

Season 3, Episode 4 – Aired: 10/16/1963
Very Old Shoes, Very Old Rice
Laura shows Millie a new dress and is dying to tell her what it's for. Rob does the same thing at the office and is scared to tell the gang why he really needs the day off. Rob and Laura have a problem, Rob needs to finish this weeks show.

Season 3, Episode 5 – Aired: 10/23/1963
All About Eavesdropping
Laura & Rob get ready to spend time with Jerry and Millie, but things get bad when Rob and Laura listen to Millie & Jerry over the intercom. Laura & Rob debate if they should go. The Petries arrive angry leaving Millie & Jerry to wonder what caused the fight. They play Charades by guessing a song title the clues don't match at all! Rob & Laura listen in again to Millie & Jerry say nice things about them.

Season 3, Episode 6 – Aired: 10/30/1963
Too Many Stars
Rob tries to get away from Mrs. Billings she tells Rob someone else will direct the play thinking he will unhappy (Rob is happy not doing it after 3 years) Mrs. Billings soon gets Rob to it again. Buddy & Sally help out by performing a show they wrote for Alan Brady 3 years ago (Alan kept saying no to the show because he isn't the main one.

Season 3, Episode 7 – Aired: 11/6/1963
Who and Where Was Antonio Stradivarius?
While working on a joke, Rob should be going to Alan's house to talk about the joke. After hitting himself on the head with a violin (a real one) Rob goes to a party. The party is in Red Hook, New Jersey!

Season 3, Episode 8 – Aired: 11/13/1963
Uncle George
Uncle George drops by looking for a wife Herman's mom comes by as the new love for Uncle George. When George sees Sally he falls in love with her! Sally doesn't like the way things turn out; Rob tells George that Sally is taken. George wants to take Sally home! Rob comes home late after watching George & Sally dance for 3 hours. Rob finds it hard to tell George he can't have Sally.

Season 3, Episode 9 – Aired: 11/20/1963
Big Max Calvada
Rob, Buddy, & Sally have job to do they have to write a joke for Kenny Dexter. Who is the nephew of Max Calvada but when Kenny shows up to see Rob, Buddy, & Sally they wonder if Kenny can do the act. When Kenny does the act he flops! Max let Kenny do the act because Max wants Kenny to go to college!

Season 3, Episode 10 – Aired: 11/27/1963
The Ballad of the Betty Lou
Rob and Jerry purchase a boat, but who's going to be the captain?

Season 3, Episode 11 – Aired: 12/4/1963
Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors
Rob hires a maid named Maria who came from Spain! The problems are just starting Maria has a broken arm and can't speak English. She has to stay with Rob and Laura. Rob calls the agency to find another job. Maria has to go back to Spain unless a job is found. Rob finds a job for Maria painting at a local shop.

Season 3, Episode 12 – Aired: 12/11/1963
The Sound of Trumpets of Conscience Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears
Rob learns he might to need testify because he is the only witness to a robbery, Rob is excited to be at the police station but has trouble telling the police what he saw because he has never been at the police station. Rob begins to recall things he forgot to tell police. Rob tells Ritchie that sometimes things have to be told to stay safe. Rob learns he didn't witness a robbery but he saw the people (who saw the robbery) running away.

Season 3, Episode 13 – Aired: 12/18/1963
The Alan Brady Show Presents
The staff has to plan a Christmas show.

Season 3, Episode 14 – Aired: 1/1/1964
The Third One from the Left
Rob tries to stop a guest star from falling in love with him.

Season 3, Episode 15 – Aired: 1/8/1964
My Husband is the Best One
Rob is asked to meet with a reporter from "Newstime" magazine who is doing a cover story on Alan Brady. Laura comes along to the lunchtime interview. Rob modestly gives all the show's credit to Alan and his co-writers Sally Rogers (no G) and Buddy Sorrell (two Ls), but Laura throws in her opinion and won't be silenced by Rob. When the article appears, it mentions Alan's name 7 times and Rob's name 11 times, giving Petrie all the credit for Alan's success. It refers to Rob's "frolicsome fellow workers" only once as Sally Sorrell and Buddy Rogers. Brady calls Rob to his office and yells at him for stealing his thunder and yells at Mel for suggesting that Laura go along to the interview. Rob tries to repair the damage with a letter to the editor of Newstime, prompting Buddy and Sally to forgive him. But when it is printed, an "Editor's Note" suggests Brady forced Rob to write the letter and the magazine still believes Rob is the "genius behind the genius." Rob cowers in a corner of Brady's office as Alan and company all throw their copies of the magazine at him.

Season 3, Episode 16 – Aired: 1/15/1964
The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer
Laura tries to setup Arthur with a wife she invites Sally & Donna on two different days. Laura really wants Donna date Arthur, when Donna & Arthur hit it Rob does everything to stop the date by locking Donna in the bathroom! Rob feels Sally won't have a chance with Arthur, Rob and Laura wonder who Arthur picked for his date, he picks his former wife who he married twice!

Season 3, Episode 17 – Aired: 1/22/1964
The Life and Love of Joe Coogan
Rob meets Laura's old flame Joe Coogan at the country club, Rob tells Laura he met Joe and Laura thinks he looked in her shoebox where her poems are kept. (The poems are kept in the basement) What Laura doesn't know is the Sonnets give a clue as to what Joe does for a living. Laura & Millie play Golf with Father Joe Coogan. Laura invites Joe to dinner. In the mean time, Rob invites Sally as a date for Joe, not knowing he's a priest and gets a big shock.

Season 3, Episode 18 – Aired: 1/29/1964
A Nice, Friendly Game of Cards
Rob and friends play poker with marked cards that Rob was using to teach Ritchie some magic tricks.

Season 3, Episode 19 – Aired: 2/5/1964
Happy Birthday and Too Many More
Laura & Rob are deciding when to have his party day should it be 3 weeks after or before Ritchie actual date of birth? Laura says she will have the party at Dizzy Land (not Disney Land). Rob & Laura forget the Gardner has come and have the party inside (with 63 kids!) because the garden needed to be fertilized!

Season 3, Episode 20 – Aired: 2/12/1964
The Brave and the Backache
Laura wonders why Rob never wants to be alone with her.

Season 3, Episode 21 – Aired: 2/19/1964
The Pen is Mightier Than the Mouth
Sally is famous overnight leaving Rob and Buddy to work alone.

Season 3, Episode 22 – Aired: 2/26/1964
My Part-Time Wife
Laura helps out at the office but drives Rob crazy while Sally is away.

Season 3, Episode 23 – Aired: 3/4/1964
Honeymoons Are for the Lucky
Rob recalls a time when he left Camp Crowder to spend his honeymoon with Laura.

Season 3, Episode 24 – Aired: 3/11/1964
How to Spank a Star
Rob's favorite star Paula Marshall wants to guest on the show but causes problems for everybody.

Season 3, Episode 25 – Aired: 3/18/1964
The Plots Thicken
Rob and Laura's familes fight over where Laura be buried. They end up having 3 burial plots to choose from.

Season 3, Episode 26 – Aired: 3/25/1964
Scratch My Car and Die
Rob has a new car that he loves and won't let anyone touch. When Laura takes Ritchie to school she gets a scratch on the car! When Rob finds out he wants to sue the person who did it.

Season 3, Episode 27 – Aired: 4/1/1964
The Return of Edwin Carp
Rob tries to get Edwin Carp to guest on a tv special.

Season 3, Episode 28 – Aired: 4/8/1964
October Eve
Laura's past comes back to haunt her in form of painting that is at an art gallery.

Season 3, Episode 29 – Aired: 4/15/1964
Dear Mrs. Petrie, Your Husband is in Jail
Rob ends up in jail after contacting an army buddy.

Season 3, Episode 30 – Aired: 4/22/1964
My Neighbor's Husband's Other Life
Rob and Laura see Jerry go out with another woman.

Season 3, Episode 31 – Aired: 4/29/1964
I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at All
Another classic; in this episode, Rob finds a hair or two in his brush; of course he assumes he's going bald. A visit to his barber (Ned Glass) hardly reassures him. The barber tells him to use a concotion on his head whose formula is very close to salad dressing. Rob dreams of using the stuff, then waking with a salad on his scalp instead of hair. Fortunately, he realizes he is dreaming and wakes up (or does he)...BALD! Finally he manages to really awaken, and finds his hair is just fine. Buddy and Sally figure in the dream and are great, spinning Rob in the barber chair while the barber chuckles evilly. One of the stand-out episodes, right up there with "It May Look Like a Walnut!", "Sneaky Camera", and "Washington Versus the Bunny."

Season 3, Episode 32 – Aired: 5/13/1964
Teacher's Petrie
The teacher falls in love with Laura.

Season 4, Episode 1 – Aired: 9/23/1964
My Mother Can Beat Up My Father
Laura has a talent for judo when she defends Rob at a bar, but ends up bruising his ego in the process.

Season 4, Episode 2 – Aired: 9/30/1964
The Ghost of A. Chantz
Rob, Buddy, Laura, and Sally spend the night in a cabin that is haunted. They later learn that Mel is playing a joke!

Season 4, Episode 3 – Aired: 10/7/1964
The Lady and the Babysitter
Roger Ritchie's Babysitter has fallen in love with Laura. Roger has trouble telling Laura that he loves her.

Season 4, Episode 4 – Aired: 10/14/1964
A Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat
A disagreement over politics almost breaks up a friendship between Rob and Jerry.

Season 4, Episode 5 – Aired: 10/21/1964
The Man from Emperor
Rob is offered a job at a men's magazine but Laura doesn't like the idea.

Season 4, Episode 6 – Aired: 10/28/1964
Romances, Roses, and Rye Bread
Sally thinks she may have found a husband in Bert Monker, She finds out that they are both lonely and may not be right for each other.

Season 4, Episode 7 – Aired: 11/4/1964
4 1/2
Via flashback, Rob tells Buddy and Sally the story of how he and Laura met Lyle Delp.

Season 4, Episode 8 – Aired: 11/11/1964
The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail
Rob has to perform at prison, just as he is about to perform Rob is thought to be an inmate of the jail.

Season 4, Episode 9 – Aired: 11/18/1964
Three Letters from One Wife
Millie gets a letter campaign together to make sure Rob still has a job.

Season 4, Episode 10 – Aired: 11/25/1964
Pink Pills and Purple Parents
Laura takes some of Millie's pills only to find that they make her drunk.

Season 4, Episode 11 – Aired: 12/2/1964
It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise
Rob tries to help get a raise for Buddy and Sally but finds that hard to do after talking with Alan Brady's accountant.

Season 4, Episode 12 – Aired: 12/9/1964
The Death of the Party
Rob tries to hide the fact he is sick as he helps Laura with a party.

Season 4, Episode 13 – Aired: 12/16/1964
My Two Show-Offs and Me
A reporter wants to write an article about the writers, who end up competing for the attention of who they think is the reporter.

Season 4, Episode 14 – Aired: 12/30/1964
Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk
Neil Schenk comes looking for a job while Rob returns an old favor.

Season 4, Episode 15 – Aired: 1/6/1965
Brother, Can You Spare $2500?
Rob, Buddy, & Sally have just spent 11 hours finishing a script, on his way home Rob thinks he has the script in his hand but all he brings home is a newspaper! Rob remembers later that he left the script at Grand Central Station!

Season 4, Episode 16 – Aired: 1/13/1965
The Impractical Joke
Rob tells Buddy that he will play a joke on Buddy. When Rob doesn't do it, Buddy's troubles only gets worse as an IRS agent visits him.

Season 4, Episode 17 – Aired: 1/20/1965
Stacey Petrie (1)
Sally is asked to help Stacey learn how to date a lady.

Season 4, Episode 18 – Aired: 1/27/1965
Stacey Petrie (2)
Stacey meets Julie. Julie opens the letter and finds out who really wrote the letter. (Stacey signed the letter James Garner who is a friend of his but not the actor.) Now Laura and Rob must help Stacey get over Julie.

Season 4, Episode 19 – Aired: 2/3/1965
Boy #1, Boy #2
Laura & Millie drive Rob crazy when their sons are cast in a commercial.

Season 4, Episode 20 – Aired: 2/10/1965
The Redcoats Are Coming
Rob offers to hide The Redcoats at his home.

Season 4, Episode 21 – Aired: 2/17/1965
The Case of the Pillow
Rob takes pillow salesman to court after buying pillows that smell like chickens.

Season 4, Episode 22 – Aired: 2/24/1965
Young Man With a Shoehorn
Rob and Buddy invest in Uncle Lou's shoe store.

Season 4, Episode 23 – Aired: 3/3/1965
Girls Will Be Boys
Ritchie comes to his parents for advice on how to get Priscilla Darewell to stop hitting him. Soon Rob and Laura find out that Pricilla loves Ritchie!

Season 4, Episode 24 – Aired: 3/10/1965
Bupkis
Rob tries to get the royalites on The Bupkis after signing off on them eariler.

Season 4, Episode 25 – Aired: 3/17/1965
Your Home Sweet Home is My Home Sweet Home
Rob and Laura may have found their dream house soon they find a rock in the center of the house!

Season 4, Episode 26 – Aired: 3/24/1965
Anthony Stone
Rob and Buddy find out that Sally's date is married.

Season 4, Episode 27 – Aired: 3/31/1965
Never Bathe on Saturday
Laura and Rob plan to see a play but she gets locked in a bathroom at their hotel.

Season 4, Episode 28 – Aired: 4/14/1965
A Show of Hands
Rob & Laura go to banquet to get an award for Alan Brady, but before they go Laura & Rob put their hands in a pot of black ink (Laura was dying a costume Ritchie needs for a play.)

Season 4, Episode 29 – Aired: 4/21/1965
Baby Fat
Alan Brady is going on Broadaway, he asks Rob to add jokes to the play. Rob later wishes he hadn't agreed to help Alan.

Season 4, Episode 30 – Aired: 5/5/1965
100 Terrible Hours
Just before Rob meets Alan Brady for the first time he tries to stay awake for 100 hours while doing a radio show.

Season 4, Episode 31 – Aired: 5/12/1965
Br-rooom, Br-rooom
Rob has a new motorcycle and takes it for a ride and is later arrested.

Season 4, Episode 32 – Aired: 5/26/1965
There's No Sale Like Wholesale
Rob learns a lesson after letting Buddy buy a coat that is too big for Laura.

Season 5, Episode 1 - Aired: 9/15/1965
Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth
A game show host gets Laura to tell a TV audience that Alan Brady is bald!

Season 5, Episode 2 – Aired: 9/22/1965
A Farewell to Writing
Rob tries to write a novel, but finds that writing comedy is easier.

Season 5, Episode 3 – Aired: 9/29/1965
Uhny Uftz
Rob and Buddy are working late, and keep thinking they hear a metallic voice saying "Uhny Uftz"! The explore a supposedly abandoned office somewhere in the building, and find a somewhat 'mad' inventor (complete with a taciturn and vaguely menacing assistant) who has constructed a toy flying saucer. It works quite well, except that, instead of saying "Merry Christmas" as the inventor intended, the saucer only says "Uhny Uftz".

Season 5, Episode 4 – Aired: 10/6/1965
The Ugliest Dog in the World
Rob tries to write a part for a dog who is going to be on The Alan Brady Show. After the dog's part is cut from the show Rob tries to find a home for the dog, But nobody wants the dog.

Season 5, Episode 5 – Aired: 10/13/1965
No Rice at My Wedding
Rob recalls a time when Laura was a raffle prize and he had to keep Clark Rice from marrying her.

Season 5, Episode 6 – Aired: 10/20/1965
Draw Me a Pear
Laura talks Rob into going to her art class and he becomes the art teacher's pet.

Season 5, Episode 7 – Aired: 10/27/1965
The Great Petrie Fortune
Rob's uncle Hezekiah hints at a family fortune in a posthumous home movie, prompting a feverish hunt for the treasure.

Season 5, Episode 8 – Aired: 11/3/1965
Odd But True
Ritchie discovers that the freckles on Rob's back form the shape of the Liberty Bell. Millie wants to send a pictrue to "Odd But True" (a newspaper column).

Season 5, Episode 9 – Aired: 11/10/1965
Viva Petrie
Maria (the Petrie's maid) tells Manuel Luis Rodriguez to go to the Petrie's because Maria feels that Rob can find him a job, but the only Manuel can do is be a bullfighter.

Season 5, Episode 10 – Aired: 11/17/1965
Go Tell the Birds and Bees
After Ritchie tells his schoolmates an outlandish version of the facts of life, the Petries are called in to see the school psychologist.

Season 5, Episode 11 – Aired: 11/24/1965
Body and Sol
Rob tells Buddy and Sally of the time he became the middle weight champion of his Army Camp.

Season 5, Episode 12 – Aired: 12/8/1965
See Rob Write, Write Rob, Write
After going to the Butcher's Shop to get something for dinner, Laura sees pictures drawn by her butcher's son. Laura wants to write a story to help sell the pictures. Rob doesn't like the idea because he always finshes her stories.

Season 5, Episode 13 – Aired: 12/15/1965
You're Under Arrest
Rob storms off after fighting with Laura, sleeps through "The Guns of Navarone" at a drive-in movie, and is arrested for assaulting an elderly woman in a bar.

Season 5, Episode 14 – Aired: 12/29/1965
Fifty-Two, Forty-Five or Work
A worried Rob must find means to support his family (Laura is pregnant with Ritchie) when the Alan Brady Show goes on hiatus.

Season 5, Episode 15 – Aired: 1/5/1966
Who Stole My Watch?
Rob is suspicious of his friends and coworkers after his birthday present, an expensive watch, mysteriously disappears. When the real thief is revealed, how will Rob make amends?

Season 5, Episode 16 – Aired: 1/19/1966
I Do Not Choose to Run
Rob gives a speech at council meeting that will land him a nomination for city councilman of New Rochelle.

Season 5, Episode 17 – Aired: 1/26/1966
The Making of a Councilman
Rob reconsiders his decision to run for city council after meeting his ultra-competent opponent, Lincoln Goodheart.

Season 5, Episode 18 – Aired: 2/2/1966
The Curse of the Petrie People
Laura is given and accidentally destroys a hideous brooch that tells the story of the Petrie family. Will she be able to reconstruct the pin before her mother-in-law's next visit?

Season 5, Episode 19 – Aired: 2/9/1966
The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart
Mel is in trouble for not telling Alan that there was a change in the script. Rob tries to get Mel to stick up for himself, But Mel gets fired.

Season 5, Episode 20 – Aired: 2/16/1966
Remember the Alimony
Rob and Laura leave Anchor Texas to go to Mexico only to find that marriage is hard to do. They soon find out that getting a divorce is easier than they thought (it costs $10 in Mexico!)

Season 5, Episode 21 – Aired: 2/23/1966
Dear Sally Rogers
Sally really wants a husband she goes on "The Stevie Parsons Show" thinking she has finally found a husband or has she? Stevie asks Rob to help in a stunt where Stevie picks a letter written to Sally, One problem Sally has no idea what will happen! Wait until Sally finds out who Box 7030 is!

Season 5, Episode 22 – Aired: 3/2/1966
Buddy Sorrell, Man and Boy
Rob & Sally think Buddy is having an affair but he is getting ready for his bar mitzvah.

Season 5, Episode 23 – Aired: 3/9/1966
Bad Reception in Albany
Rob and Laura are attending a wedding in Albany, Rob is asked by Alan to watch a fashion show. He promises to tell Alan what he thought of it. Rob has to hurry to the church to usher a wedding.

Season 5, Episode 24 – Aired: 3/23/1966
Talk to the Snail
Fearing that his staff is about to be downsized, Rob applies for a new job with a ventriloquist and his obnoxious puppet, an abusive snail named Jelly Bean.

Season 5, Episode 25 – Aired: 4/6/1966
A Day in the Life of Alan Brady
Jerry and Millie's anniversary party becomes the improbable setting of a documentary about the life of Alan Brady.

Season 5, Episode 26 – Aired: 4/13/1966
Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.
Laura looks at a script that insults Alan, The gang in a hurry to go to the theater they forget that Alan has the script with the insults in it. So Rob Buddy & Sally try to go in Alan's office to find it. Rob crawls through Alan's office, Laura later finds the key (Rob has no idea that the door is about to open and is hit in the nose by the door.) After Rob breaks in to Alan's desk ( forgetting to ask for the key for the desk.) While still in Alan's office Mel forgets to mention the script was delivered to Alan. Mel then has an idea to break in Alan's house! They finally find the script in Alan's hand!

Season 5, Episode 27 – Aired: 4/20/1966
The Man from My Uncle
When government agent Harry Bond decides to use Ritchie's bedroom as a stakeout point for surveilling the home of Mr. Girard, the Petries' next door neighbor, Rob is captivated by the agent's gadgets and law enforcement lingo.

Season 5, Episode 28 – Aired: 4/27/1966
You Ought to Be in Pictures
Much to Laura's dismay, Rob, who cannot act, is cast in a low-budget film with a voluptuous Italian actress who cannot speak English.

Season 5, Episode 29 – Aired: 5/4/1966
Love Thy Other Neighbor
When Laura and Rob spend time with their new neighbors, the Staggs, Millie is consumed with jealousy. Can Jerry's love of sound equipment save the day?

Season 5, Episode 30 – Aired: 5/11/1966
Long Night's Journey into Day
Rob and Jerry go fishing, leaving a very nervous Laura (who has a cold) home alone with a mynah bird. She's later joined by Millie, who helps her through a terrifying night of ominous noises, strange events, and a mysterious intrusion.

Season 5, Episode 31 – Aired: 5/25/1966
The Gunslinger
Rob needs to have a tooth removed, as Jerry removes it Rob dreams that he lives in the old west and needs to save the town from Big Bad Brady. Rob can't seem to remember to bring his guns ( he can't recall where he left them including his gun belt!) Deputy Buddy finally brings them, just as Big Bad Brady and Rob go to battle. We find that Rob needs to practice more (he can't shoot all the bottles on the bar.) Rob is about to wake up only to be told by Jerry, that a World War 1 script is needed. Rob asks Jerry to put him under again and take another tooth so Rob can think of what to dream about!

Season 5, Episode 32 – Aired: 6/1/1966
The Last Chapter
Rob finally finishes his autobiography (it took 5 years to write) and gives the book to Laura to read. As Laura reads, we see classic moments from several episodes, including how Rob and Laura met, how Rob almost missed his wedding, and of course the birth of Ritchie. As Laura finishes the book, Rob tells her that although the publisher hated it, Alan Brady has decided to buy it for a TV series!